Just want to offer more hope - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 06-12-2008, 09:33 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hey mamas, to those who are having a really rough time right now, I send you my warmest, most sincere and genuine love and hugs.



If you have spent much of your day/week crying, I just want to offer an ear to listen. I remember feeling as though no one was listening, even if I was shouting (and even if I was only shouting in my head).

What can you do RIGHT NOW for yourself? Drink a glass of water? Just give yourself permission to not do anything? Go outside and lay in the sun? Get one area in the house clean (or semi clean)? Call at least two therapists to "interview"? Eat a sandwich or some cheese and crackers? Remind yourself that it will NOT last forever? Cause it won't. It won't. IT WON'T. I remember feeling annoyed at that phrase "this too shall pass" because I felt like I would die before it passed. But if you get help, it WILL pass. I didn't know how in the heck I was going to pay for therapy, especially for the price I have to pay out here with no insurance, along with meds. But I have managed to use some negotiation skills and work my way around things, and somehow (I'm still not sure how), I am paying for the help I need. And it is SO WORTH IT. I AM WORTH IT. YOU ARE WORTH IT. WE ALL ARE WORTH IT.

Just want to send my love out to all those who need it. Everyone who is experiencing motherhood in a dark way, you are in my heart. I am holding you there, trying to let you know it WILL be ok. You WILL find a way out. Just take at least one step in the direction you know you need to go.

Those who are having a bad day, I'm sorry. No, I really am. It pains me to think of all the women out there experiencing such pain, even if its just the slightest of pain...

Love you all.

And thank you to anyone who has ever lent me any and all support whatsoever. It is appreciated more that you'll ever know.

Creating Art. Living life on Guam. Sharing my Journey.

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#2 of 5 Old 06-12-2008, 11:56 AM
 
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Thank YOU!!!!!
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#3 of 5 Old 06-13-2008, 02:01 PM
 
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Love this post, thank you! Having suffered from PPD with #1, and to some extent now with #2, I agree with you - this too will pass!

Wife to Hank , Mommy to Gabriella 6.5 yrs Anthony 28 monthsand 3 angels wait for me in Heaven Praying to be a Proverbs 31 woman!!
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#4 of 5 Old 06-13-2008, 03:37 PM
 
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I have had PPD with #2 and #3, so I agree, it does pass !
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#5 of 5 Old 06-14-2008, 01:42 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I want to reiterate on getting help. I had ppd with Ds1, but didn't fully realize it. I thought it was my circumstances that made me feel crappy...I didn't know just how complex it all was. I never received professional help...the only support I had was online. I was isolated. I didn't feel like anyone cared to listen or respond to my pleas for help, especially since some DID turn away from me. Well I went through phases. Circumstances would get a little better, I'd find a bit of motivation and inspiration to pick myself up off the floor/bed/couch, and come out of the fog a little bit. But looking back, I never really came out of the fog. It seemed to be an on and off chronic thing beginning. Later I learned about the risks of untreated ppd developing into chronic depression. I became pregnant with Ds2 when Ds1 was 13mo. There began the prenatal depression. I was scared, I knew what was coming. More ppd. Or maybe I was scared that it MIGHT come. I even went through a lot of thought and action in trying to set up support for myself.

Well, somehow it didn't really follow through. I was already feeling depressed/resentful during the pregnancy, overwhelmed by guilt and feeling trapped, like my life was over.

Sometimes I wonder, if I would have gotten REAL help the first time around, maybe I could have avoided a LOT of pain and suffering the 2nd time around. But alas, I do believe there is a reason for everything, and that there is a purpose for me experiencing what I did (maybe so I could be sharing now, who knows?).

So yeah, from my own experience, I would say if anyone were experiencing depression or other mood disorders during pregnancy or postpartum, get help immediately. I remember during the ppd after Ds1 was born saying "Well, at least it couldn't get any worse than this." Well, it did. And then the 2nd time around, it was even worse than the worst of the 1st time. Not saying that that would be anyone else's experience, just sharing mine.

More love to all the mamas here and everywhere.

Creating Art. Living life on Guam. Sharing my Journey.

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