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-   -   when do you write if your LO doesn't nap? (http://www.mothering.com/forum/281-mothers-writing-group/1159120-when-do-you-write-if-your-lo-doesn-t-nap.html)

lisavark 11-07-2009 10:32 PM

DD is 20 months and has officially decided she is no longer napping. I've done everything possible to keep the nap, but, well, it's just not happening. She's actually getting MORE sleep now total because she's going to bed so early, but naptime used to be my writing time, and I am really having a hard time finding time to write now. I'm so exhausted by the time she goes to bed, and plus at that point DH is home and I want to spend time with him. I can't get up earlier than her because she starts nursing sometime in the night and then nurses every hour till we both get up. I'm trying to nightwean her, but in the meantime getting up earlier is not an option because she would just get up with me. We are still having "quiet time" at her old naptime, but she doesn't entertain herself for any length of time...not long enough for me to really concentrate on writing...and if I try to get my computer out, she of course immediately wants to help me type.

So...are there any ideas I haven't thought of yet? When do you write if your LO doesn't nap? Is my only option to hire a babysitter?

If she starts actually sleeping all night, I will probably start getting up in the middle of the night...midnight writing sounds really nice, actually. But like I said, not much of an option right now.

Bella Catalina 11-08-2009 12:26 AM

I'd like to be getting up early in the morning, too, but my LO is the same as yours. Would your husband be willing to take her for an hour or two in the mornings if that is an option? My DH does this for me because our boys wake at 6. Right now I am using this time to catch up on sleep, but I'm waiting for nightweaning to happen, too.
My other suggestion would be a mother's helper for a couple of hours if that would work... (though that wouldn't work for me because I don't actually get any peace and quiet in our small apt if they're awake or home).

alaskaberry 11-08-2009 11:27 AM

I write at night, so I'm no help there. My LO's get up with me in the a.m. no matter what time I wake up, so that doesn't work for me--plus I am primarily a night owl and creative at night. I second the mother's helper/dh helping idea. Best of luck.

aikigypsy 11-08-2009 12:14 PM

I am still working on this myself. DD (23 months) naps most days, but not reliably, and I'm finding my nap-writing time is getting encroached on more and more by family/household projects -- we're living with my parents and have a big house renovation project gong on, and if my mother's awake she's always asking me questions like, "What should we have for dinner? Do we need anything at the store? what are your plans for the day/week/afternoon?" and laundry-related questions, which are all very distracting.

So early mornings are my only real opportunity for quiet time, and it takes me a while to ramp up in the morning. My husband is no help. He offers a couple of hours once or twice a week, but won't make a big enough commitment that it would actually help me make progress on my novel.

What happened here this morning (and is typical) is that I nursed DD around 6 am for 5 minutes until she snapped off and fell back asleep, at which point I got up and went downstairs. I'd done some journaling and read my emails by the time she stirred again, then had to nurse her back to sleep for a while (15-20 minutes?). I read while she nursed then came back to the computer. I didn't get much done this morning, but I'm trying to manage it so that the nurse-back-to-sleep interuption doesn't kill the flow entirely. Altogether, I think I pieced together almost an hour and a half.

I am struggling with the lack of support from my husband and family. About a month ago, I met a woman with 1-year-old twins who was working on a novel and a Ph.D. I complained about not having time, and I swear she must have batted her eyelashes as she said: "Just ask your family for support!" as if that were all there was to it.

Well, let me tell you, I have asked, and they have said no. I am hurt by their lack of support, but I just have to figure out some way of working along without it, even in the face of their opposition, which is hard. They think it's a waste of time and that I should be going to law school or something, or getting some kind of management/business job, anything with a steady income, benefits, and job security. My parents still haven't woken up to the fact that NO ONE has job security any more. Fortunately DD is getting to an age where she can amuse herself for short stretches, too.

Pardon the OT rant about my family. I just had to get it out.

Luckiestgirl 11-11-2009 04:44 PM

I write twice a week: on Monday evenings, when dh takes over clean-up and bedtime at 6 pm so I can get an early start, and on Fridays from 10-3, when a sitter comes to the house. The sitter costs $10/hour, but I have 3 kids and homeschool, so that's the only way I can get enough writing time to make progress on my novel.

BabyMae09 11-11-2009 06:51 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by aikigypsy View Post
I am still working on this myself. DD (23 months) naps most days, but not reliably, and I'm finding my nap-writing time is getting encroached on more and more by family/household projects -- we're living with my parents and have a big house renovation project gong on, and if my mother's awake she's always asking me questions like, "What should we have for dinner? Do we need anything at the store? what are your plans for the day/week/afternoon?" and laundry-related questions, which are all very distracting.

So early mornings are my only real opportunity for quiet time, and it takes me a while to ramp up in the morning. My husband is no help. He offers a couple of hours once or twice a week, but won't make a big enough commitment that it would actually help me make progress on my novel.

What happened here this morning (and is typical) is that I nursed DD around 6 am for 5 minutes until she snapped off and fell back asleep, at which point I got up and went downstairs. I'd done some journaling and read my emails by the time she stirred again, then had to nurse her back to sleep for a while (15-20 minutes?). I read while she nursed then came back to the computer. I didn't get much done this morning, but I'm trying to manage it so that the nurse-back-to-sleep interuption doesn't kill the flow entirely. Altogether, I think I pieced together almost an hour and a half.

I am struggling with the lack of support from my husband and family. About a month ago, I met a woman with 1-year-old twins who was working on a novel and a Ph.D. I complained about not having time, and I swear she must have batted her eyelashes as she said: "Just ask your family for support!" as if that were all there was to it.

Well, let me tell you, I have asked, and they have said no. I am hurt by their lack of support, but I just have to figure out some way of working along without it, even in the face of their opposition, which is hard. They think it's a waste of time and that I should be going to law school or something, or getting some kind of management/business job, anything with a steady income, benefits, and job security. My parents still haven't woken up to the fact that NO ONE has job security any more. Fortunately DD is getting to an age where she can amuse herself for short stretches, too.

Pardon the OT rant about my family. I just had to get it out.


Seasons change. Just think of it as getting lots of mental time to think about your writing. When you do get to do it, it'll be that much better!

boatbaby 11-16-2009 10:17 PM

It is SosoSO hard! When DS gave up napping 2.5 years ago it all changed. I still manage to write, but it's not as easy as it once was.
Basically I have become a night owl. If I have a paying assignment I jump on the computer right when DH gets home and go go go until I drop. DH handles dinner and play and bedtime. If I am just writing to hear myself or drumming up work, I jump on after DS goes to sleep (9-9:30pm) and usually go until about 12:30. Since we co-sleep DS usually sleeps late as long as I don't stir, so I am ok in the morning. Usually we're up 9:30am so I still get a good 9 hours in.

I am supposed to be working right now New gig co-authoring a book and I am insanely overwhelmed. So I will be taking brain breaks here often.

Good luck!

JennyClaire 11-17-2009 11:20 AM

This is hard. My youngest is 2.5 and I often DON'T have daily writing time. He usually takes an early afternoon nap, but 1/2 the time I fall asleep while lying down with him! If awake, this is my writing time.

I have to leave the house to write (or revise) at a library on weekends because the DCs will find me and "need something" if I try to write at home. DH stays home weekends with our two youngest (which is usually what he wants to do anyway). When my teen is home (not often), she helps out a little.

Sometimes I go to the library for 2 half days, sometimes one long 8-10 hour day. The long days are best, because it takes me several hours to really get in the groove, especially after a week away.

Best of luck!

confustication 11-28-2009 03:07 AM

I have a seven year old homeschooled daughter, and two little boys under two. If i needed peace and quiet to write, I'd be up a creek.

I steal time while the little ones nap- or I toss an article together while dinner is baking. I often have a deadline, so waiting for the right time isn't an option.

My ideal would be quiet time in the early morning or late at night, and often I do find myself tapping away at the keys while the rest of my family is sleeping. I decided that I'd regret not taking the time to write more than I'd regret losing an hour or so of sleep a day.

It also helps that I work for a newspaper with a very laid-back approach. Odd as it may sound, much of the layout and ad work is done during business hours, but the stories are written under cover of darkness. My editor and I both have three children, we simply create the time to write in the midst of absolute chaos.

alaskaberry 11-28-2009 03:10 AM

You could either wake up early, if you're a morning person. Or write at night, if you're a night owl.


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