Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: wandering around.... with an aim.
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Originally Posted by mystic~mama
The precious life within me has given me hope, strength and love.
It is so close and yet so far. My body contracts and tenses, fully present in my pain, unable to connect with my bodies rhythms, with my spirit and with my baby. So alone, so unknown. Feeling empty and helpless. I do as I believe I should, treated as if I have no say, left to myself, to my own pain, in a numb, lost and lonely state. I am becoming more lost as the hours pass. The father and grandfather sit by, helpless. Nurses in and out with indifference to their sister, laying lost, in pain on her back, strapped to monitors. I lay there more than a day, as seemingly endless shifts of nurses are in and out with no kind words only to strap me in, poke at me with fingers to painfully reach inside of me over and over until my footling breech is realized. I was wisked away, told I had no choice, felt an intense fear, numb and sick I saw my baby, felt no joy, only emptiness. As I awoke and saw my tiny and tired angel looking over at me, our eyes immediately met and we connected. The interventions and surgical removal of her from my womb did not stop our connection so many hours later. I held her and fell in love; we nursed and slept peacefully. Together again, I found my mama instincts and walked, bruised, but not broken, out of that hospital with my baby in my arms.
Originally Posted by jenniey
I thought that was wonderul. Above I have made some adjustments/edits that affect the rhythm or simply where a word (feeling, body) was repeated too much. I hope you do not mind. I used to love it when people would do this for my work in creative writing classes. You may want to read it aloud as above and see what you think.
I am impressed that you could tap into those emotions so long after your experience.
I have bolded those parts which I think are simply beautiful and perfect.
Good work. Really, I thought that was quite powerful.
ps. this is my first post, so i hope i haven't committed any faux pas. please feel free to let me know if i have.
Originally Posted by BelovedK
I love it, I can SO relate. I would leave out the father and grandfather line but I am a ruthless editor. What so others think?
I also had a C for my first and a natural VBAC with my second...I really felt the emotion in your poems. I'd write more but I am so tired
Originally Posted by mystic~mama
.trying to let myself feel what I'm feeling and let it be.
|118 members and 19,207 guests|
|agilesheltie , AlmostJenny , Anna1979 , Ashley4490 , ashleyv8 , azohri , bananabee , bledisgo , bluefaery , Bow , camillabien , CarolS , Carolyn_mtl , Chaika , chickabiddy , Christine155 , Coriolus , Daffodil , Dakotacakes , Danielleyc203 , Deborah , DungeonQueen , element2012 , emmy526 , EMRguy , Eris , eternity9111 , etsdtm99 , farmermomma , floss&ferd , frugalmama , greenemami , happyhats , highlandmum , iceface , Incubator , Iron Princess , ismewilde , jkg , joandsarah77 , JuneBugTO , Jusect , Kate&Joey , katharinerose , Katherine73 , kathymuggle , kindofcrunchy82 , KindRedSpirit , KosmicMama , Letitia , Lifted , LiLStar , Linda on the move , loba , mama24-7 , mamabear0314 , mariamadly , marilyn612 , Mathemom , MeepyCat , meeshbenson , meghanmetz , Milk8shake , Mirzam , mmh3000 , moominmamma , MotherAtHeart , Moviechick , MrsPeriwinkle , Mummoth , Mylie , MylittleTiger , mysticmomma , natalie18 , Nenya , Nightwish , oaksie68 , pers , pitbull mommy , pokeyac , RollerCoasterMama , samaxtics , SandiMae , sarafl , serenbat , shantimama , Shenjall , Shmootzi , sillysapling , Smella , Snydley , Springshowers , StarChild , stardogs , t2009 , teamsalem , Teles , thtr4me , Tigerle , TourmalineMama , typebug , Wild Lupine , Xerxella|
|Most users ever online was 449,755, 06-25-2014 at 01:21 PM.|