Short, funny fillers needed for my mama zine -- please fill in the blank. Be short, be specific, be hilarious
And get a free copy if I publish it!
Please email me at email@example.com
with your input:"I cringe when..."
(the baby is napping and I hear the toilet seat slam up... and then hear the sound of urine hitting not porcelin, but the wood cabinet nearby.... when the oldest is roller blading in the house... when the youngest splashes in that same toilet mentioned above...)
Spend a few hours noticing your brows -- when they next furrow while watching your kids in action, write it down!Unconventional answers to everyday overstated questions
ie. "Are you still nursing him?" ("Yes. Our pediatrician told me I couldn't let anyone else do it for me." or if asked while actually nursing "Why yes. Are you still asking rhetorical questions?")
"Is he sleeping through the night?" ("Are you?")
"Are you going to try for a girl/a boy?" ("Nah, we were trying for a lefty and we think we got one this time!")
"You sure have your hands full, don't you?" ("Man, you should see me when I have the other four with me, too!")
If you have a question people ask you about your pregnancy or kids, send it, along with a smart-mouth or distracting answer. Or send it and I'll put it out there and see how many good answers we can get for it.POP POLL
(please make sure you put POP POLL in the subject line, i get lots and lots of these, thanks!)
Pick one: Clean home or messy home and why?
Please discuss -- How does it affect your parenting and the way your kids learn? Talk about priorities, chores, learning responsibility, partners and their role in this whole clean-up biz, what have you. Is running a tight ship necessary to help kids thrive?
Please keep these fairly short. Though definitely brilliant, last issue I had some LOONNNGGGG ones on this.
Top 10 Ways to Spoil YOur Kids Without Spending a Cent
I'll pick the best. And if we get 20 good ones, I'll change the title
Because being a mom is the ride of your life, I created SCREAMACHINE The Mamacoaster Zine. It's 30-some pages packed to the margins with the messy, moving, miraculous tales of our many, varied, soulful mama lives. The zine is essays, poetry and photos, but to keep things speedy (and more in tune with our new millineum short attention spans), I intersperse all of that with lots of quippy, quirky briefs. And that's why I need your help. So thank you in advance and happy holidays to all!
Deadline is January 10. Any of the items selected will run with your name and hometown. Back issues available, drop me an email for details.