I'm having trouble with this drop off thing too. Daughter just started school a week ago and she hates the drop off. She tells me several times throughout the 30 minute car ride that she doesn't want to go, she doesn't like her teacher, she just wants to go to her grandmother's house. (She was staying with her before school every day and was not doing well, out of boredom, so I know that's not a real solution). Then we get there and she refuses to leave the car. She crawled up to the front seat and bawled and they finally said I had to drive to the parking lot because I was holding up the line.
My problem is not so much that she's having a hard time transitioning- that would be hard for any kid who's been at home or in someone's home for 4.5 years- it's that the teachers are so business like. They don't show any compassion whatever. They are just, "Ok, it's time to get out of the car now. School is starting. You don't want to be late." I don't see them hug her or talk about how she's feeling or anything. And one of them actually said to me, while I was sitting in the driver's seat with my child clinging to my neck screaming, that "She will be fine if you just let her go." I was letting her go! She was clinging to me!
I was also disappointed that there is no option for those particularly clingly children who might need a week or two of walking in. I told her this morning when I was moving the car to the parking lot that I'd walk her to the door. I was getting her to calm down, telling her that if I walked her to the door there wouldn't be any crying, we would do this together, etc... and she was almost calm and then the freaking teacher came out and tried to grab her out of the car. All calm went out the window. She was pulling her away and I'm just not comfortable with that. How very frightening it all seemed and I was rendered powerless. "Let's go, school's starting, they're locking the doors!"
Why are they so frantic to get the child in on the dot, why isn't there time for them to get their bearings at all? I just feel like she's being stripped of any dignity and control she could have over her own body when they're grabbing at her, and security in me or her teachers, which is invaluable. It could really make or break her school experience.
If I could afford to stay at home with her I would, but she pretty much HAS to be at school.