Thanks for replying, I do appreciate hearing from an experienced montesssorian, and I know you are busy.
Update: we enrolled ds ( now three and three months) in an AMS school for next year. They do not have a full three hour work period because there is elective music and "gym" two days a week and 15 min of outside time before pick-up. They are signifigantly more expensive and hald an hour away,
I don't like the car line at the AMS school, which E would hate more than dropping him off at the door. BUT he met with one of the guides at the AMS school and asks to go to that school instead of his current school ( on the way to his current preschool in the morning)
The guide who yelled and did the arm-grabbing at parent night at his current AMI preschool has since seemed to change a lot. She even seems a bit happier now that it is the end of the year and the classroom is running smoothly ( she has said that she misses her original country and her family and is chronically ill in the US with a cold) (During a field trip the casa children were quieter and more attentive that a group of eight and ten year-olds from another school) About five weeks ago, I guess in late April early May, E started to do really well in the classroom, no longer being disruptive and he stopped saying that he did not want to go to preschool for about a month. (The school reported in thier March newsletter that Rita Zener said Mrs J's classroom was normalized, which is great, ( in march he was still having trouble and getting in trouble every day)
Now he is back to saying he does not want to go. One day he refused to get out of his car sear ( which he did for a long time in the fall) and I asked what was wrong and he said that he had gotten in trouble because two children were too close to him and he asked them to walk away and they didn't so he pushed them and got in trouble for it.
I let the assistant know and she said she would watch for it and keep him next to her so he would feel protected.
Then I noticed during an observation two boys were bothering him ( he has sensory integration disorder, he really does not like people invading his personal space and the children are aware of this... he started doing well at preschool since starting occupational therapy and enzymes)
I was thinking of keeping him at the current preschool because they called and said they still have an opening, and because it is familiar to him. ( he may need more endoscopy's and possibly a feeding tube for E028 formula so familiar would be good) BUT he says he is more comfortable with the guide he met at the AMS school, and that "her no is nicer than Mrs. J's no"
He won't look his current guide in the eyes when I am around, and Rita Zener deduced that Mrs/J's classroom was normalized, which is great, but now again every mornigng he says he does not want to go, but he seems happy when I pick him up. Some of the older girls deffinately watch out for him, even to the point of watching me with him during the school picnic and holding his hand on the merry-go-round when he looked worried. I woudl hate for him to loose those friends, but he still says he wants to go to the other school.
I do wonder if changing from AMI to AMS without a three hour work period would hurt the progress he has made in the last few weeks.
I think that the AMS's school while having only 19 children ( as opposed to the AMI school's 31... "to have the right classroom chemistry" might be more comfortable for E because it would be easier on his sensory imput. On the other hand, it also might not have the "right chemistry" and the guide might actually have to remind the children more than in a classroom with 30... does that make sense?
The AMS classroom seemed "normalized" but I do not know enough to really make that judgement.
This is the clincher!!!! E told me that one of the boys I saw bothering him during my observation came into the bathroom when he was urinating ( he stands) and e said that the boy ( also 3) "stuck his finger in my butt" I asked if he was ok, he said he pushed him away" and I reminded him to always tell me and the teacher. Preeschool is over for the summer , I called the teacher and she said she is surprised because they make sure only one child is in the resroom at a time ( it's a one-toilet room in the classroom) He said he didnt' tell the assistant because "she was busy"
but that she will call the other parent. I made sure to talk with him again ( as we have before) about privat parts and that no one is to touch them, and that he shoudl tell me if anyone tries and get the teacher right away.
I don't know if a three year old could make up something like that????????