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#61 of 121 Old 01-20-2009, 05:13 PM
 
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mamauk...on the SAHM point, i have a dear friend who just published a book about motherhood. she referenced salary.com for an article they wrote about what mom is worth....
so here is what they came up with, if paid, a SAHM (in 2006) would earn $134, 121. and a working mom would be $85,876 (for their "mom job" plus whatever income earned outside of the home).
i thought it was interesting. it sort of made me feel better...at least to see that there is "worth" in the job that i am doing. but i think you are right, our society measures success by money. so when i remove myself from that type of thinking, i realize what i am doing is actually immeasurable!
wow!!!!! That's interesting! That makes me feel better!

A UK Waldorf blogging mama!
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#62 of 121 Old 01-20-2009, 06:16 PM
 
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I didn't mean to make you feel sad, I'm sorry
I am really aware that not every family can afford for a mum or dad to stay home. We only just manage it, we pay the bills and there's not much left. We've actually chosen not to own a house right now b/c if we had a morgage I would HAVE to work (houses in the UK are pretty damn expensive) I'm not sure what the house prices are like in the USA. So we rent (Its a lovely family home with large garden with veg patch and fruit nets and a wild chicken) oh, but sometimes I would love to own a house and decorate it how we wanted, keep chickens etc It's funny (or maybe not) how we are both made to feel guilty by society. Again i didn't want to make you feel sad, so I'm sorry.
Oh don't be sorry. I am just envious

Where are you in the UK? My sister lives in London (they rent because it is way too expensive to buy).
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#63 of 121 Old 01-21-2009, 12:41 PM
 
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We have lost touch with natural processes in child development, convinced that we have to “do something” rather than allowing the child’s inner process or unfolding. Pediatricians try to reassure mothers that each child has his own timetable with regard to waking early or late, but educators do not reassure parents or try to maintain the self-esteem of a child who does not learn to read until age nine. Rather, he is labeled as “learning disabled” and put into remedial classes, in which the basics are drilled to the point where he loses out on the richness and excitement of learning.

Rudolf Steiner had tremendous confidence in the natural processes of development and reminded us that “That which is asleep will awaken”. That doesn’t mean we do nothing – it means the things we do need to be consonant with the child’s own developmental stages as they unfold. It is unhealthy to skip stages or to rush the child through various phases. While is sometimes possible to do so, just because something can be done doesn’t mean that it should be done!



This quote really struck a cord for me because 1) dh was labeled with a "learning disability" when he was little and his parents were told he would never go to University. He did go to University and get a degree and he is quite successful, but still doubts his academic ability and 2) dd1 was in public school last year and was "meeting or exceeding" all the Kindergarten requirements, yet she was so stressed out that she was having stomach aches and temper tantrums. The good news is she hasn't had any stomach aches since she started at Waldorf and the temper tantrums are much fewer and far between
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#64 of 121 Old 01-21-2009, 02:18 PM
 
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Rather, he is labeled as “learning disabled” and put into remedial classes, in which the basics are drilled to the point where he loses out on the richness and excitement of learning.




that bit right there really makes my heart hurt for children I know. my nephew turned away from learning, for this exact reason. and it is so sad.

~jen~ )O( mama to k 07/05 o 5/08 and c 12/09
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#65 of 121 Old 01-21-2009, 02:23 PM
 
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I think the quote that really spoke to me at the beginning of the book was :

"'Quality time' is not the same as the everydayness of being together. Let's neither glorify it nor undervalue it" (Page 25)

I think this really said something to me b/c sometimes I feel undervalued being a SAHM b/c I'm not earning a wage. I constantly feel like I have to justify myself for staying at home to look after my two LO's and give valid reasons as to why I haven't returned to work. Goodness knows what people will say when my two LO's are in a regular full time school and that I am still a SAHM. Then I really will have to justify myself. LOL. If a family is financially able to have a stay at home parent I think it is so valuble for a child to have their first three years and beyond knowing there is aways a primary carer around for hugs/chats/smiles/kisses/stories, somebody who REALLY loves them and cherishes them and this is very important. So I guess it underlined to me that being at home is just as important if not more important to your child's growth then earning a wage (again if your family can afford it, I know alot of families can't) but society today just seems to measure things by £/$ as to a persons worth.

i completely identify with feeling like you need to justify staying home.

I am an RN and people think I am crazy for not working. We live on half the amount of money we lived off of pre children and we have two more bodies in our home! my own mother says Im just lazy. As if all this work Im doing is easy! sahming and wohming and wahming are all incredibly demanding and worthy of respect!

~jen~ )O( mama to k 07/05 o 5/08 and c 12/09
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#66 of 121 Old 01-21-2009, 04:28 PM
 
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my own mother says Im just lazy. As if all this work Im doing is easy! sahming and wohming and wahming are all incredibly demanding and worthy of respect!

I have done both and staying at home is much tougher job than working outside the home. It is also much more rewarding I don't think it is possible to be lazy and stay at home with small children all day.
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#67 of 121 Old 01-21-2009, 06:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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[QUOTE=HollysMom;13036361]
Rudolf Steiner had tremendous confidence in the natural processes of development and reminded us that “That which is asleep will awaken”.



i loved that quote too. i loved the patience it encourages as parents. to know our children and to nurture them where they are, knowing in time....all will unfold. unfortunately, this is so counter to culture where everyone is always asking about developmental milestones, "is he/she walking, talking, sleeping, etc. etc. etc. ad nauseum"

: blogging about life, beauty, crafting, healing, waldorf...

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#68 of 121 Old 01-21-2009, 06:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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so i don't know about you gals, but the more i read the more excited i get. there are so many different little minute things that she is mentioning in the book that i did/am doing in raising our daughter that just seemed natural. i love knowing that i am not alone and that my instincts are often right-on.

there also are parts where i am thinking : that makes so much sense. i wish i had thought of/heard that earlier!

: blogging about life, beauty, crafting, healing, waldorf...

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#69 of 121 Old 01-22-2009, 05:18 PM
 
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Hi! I want to get in too! My name is Kellie. I am SAHM to Sofi (2.5) and Walter (5.5 mos). We are new to Waldorf philosophy, but have been practicing a lot of his methods without realizing it. I just finished Heaven on Earth and Seven Times the Sun a few weeks ago and started on YAYCFT. I think I'm just getting close to finishing up the section that you guys are starting. I am REALLY enjoying it! I borrowed the 3 books from a friend and this is the first one I have bought (my very own copy is on its way from Amazon).

I whole heartedly agree that what I am giving my children by being here with them is immeasurable. The values that I am teaching them, the life skills are just invaluable. I have really been working on getting back to the loving place I was in before I had Walter. The hormones took control of me and I wasn't able to keep my emotions in check for a long while. I had started to see Sofi as being so much older and bigger and feeling like I had missed this chunk of time where she went from being my sweet baby to being this toddler I didn't know. And it finally hit me that we didn't know each other as well any more and I was only perpetuating that gap by constantly being angry. I've been working at being more playful and loving when things get difficult and seeing her as the wee person that she still is. I want to teach her how to love her babies. She can't get that if I don't give it to her.

As far as aha moments, I think that my lights may still be coming on. The majority of what I am reading, I have already been doing. I think that one of the things that the reading is doing for me is re-awakening my belief that my children will do just what they need to do - at least mostly on their own. My daughter has dwarfism and has had some gross motor and speech delays. We have been doing a TON of therapy with her and it is really stressful. I think that some of the therapy has been greatly beneficial. I don't know how long it would have taken her to learn to walk if we hadn't had her therapist come and work with her over a year ago. BUT, I think that her therapist didn't do anything magical, just showed me how to help her build up her core strength and let me work with her. Her speech therapist stepped in when it became quite apparent that Sofi was so frustrated with not being able to talk that she couldn't handle any part of everyday life anymore. On that front, the therapy has helped her to feel more understood and she is making some rapid progress - although I'm not convinced that it is 100% because of therapy and not simply that she would have suddenly blossomed on her own. Finding my place in the natural progression in these books is really helping me to reevaluate my thoughts about therapy and pushing her to be on par with her peers. She has so many gifts that her peers don't have - and I don't see anyone pushing them to be more like her. I have decided to homeschool - a decision I have struggled with this month and finally made - and sitting down deciding what we are going to do has also allowed me to make a list of goals for her therapy too, and allowed me to take more charge in what I want to see happen. It also helped me to see where I should spend my efforts in helping her with her physical goals.

Another point that I have really enjoyed in the book is that rather than allowing the child to run the house, or even to be the center of the home, they are treated as a part of a whole unit (the family) where everyone is valued equally and taught to function within that unit. However, they are treated as an equal and valuable part of the unit, and are respected and revered within it. This balance really speaks to me. I've struggled with balance a lot until recently and it has been wonderful finding it again. When Sofi was born, I lost my desire for anyone else in the world. She and I had such a connection and just did so well together! I didn't particularly care about anyone above her. She was certainly above myself and my own needs quite a bit of the time. And my poor dh, well, he was on his own! We got through that era, and struck some balance between me and Sofi, but dh was still on his own. When Walter was born, I really had to balance us all, and somehow, it gave me room in my heart again for my dh. Sofi was used to functioning along side me or Daddy, and incorporated this new person well, but Walter has never had the time that Sofi had as a baby where everything else could wait while I tended to her. Dinner goes on the table at 5:30 these days, regardless of what anyone else might want because we all really NEED for dinner to be ready at dinner time. Walter may not think that he would rather have me cooking than holding him, but he would far rather that I am happy, well nourished and not yelling at Sofi because we are both overly hungry and melting down because I held him instead of cooking. I have to be the mom and know what is best for everyone.

The little one calls! I'll be watching.

Kellie - Mama to Sofi (06), Walter (08), and Baby "Lorraine" due May 30, 11.
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#70 of 121 Old 01-22-2009, 05:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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mommypants-- thanks for joining and posting! i love you ideas about the book and how they relate to your life!!!

i am just having so many aha! moments that i'd be impossible to list them all. dh and i had a discussion probably about two years ago about memory and when a child/baby first develops memory. this is a topic have disagreed on....him thinking that a child does not have memories until the age of 3 (now mind you he is a phycho-therapist...so that's what he's learned). dh has always believed that a newborn can develop fear-conditioning (so not necessarily a memory, but a great argument for not letting LOs CIO and the like). ok so i am meandering to my point....

earlier this week i made a comment on how dd (21 mos) can remember this or that. he sort of tried to explain it away.

today as i sewed dd and dh went to the park. dh was real excited when he came back... the last time we went to this particular park MIL (aka GG) was with us. during this visit to the park dd kept saying "GG, GG, GG". proving that she remembered being at the park with her GG (which was on New Year's day....just to give you a time measurement). dh was completely amazed and admitted..yup, dd is able to remember (have memories).

this afternoon i was reading the book and came to the part about memory. WOW! i could not believe the timing....baldwin goes on to describe localized or placed memory (pg. 73). now i am SOOOOO thrilled to be able to discuss this further with dh tonight AND share this tid-bit from the book!

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#71 of 121 Old 01-22-2009, 06:04 PM
 
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I'm reading the posts, but not chiming in. I just received my copy of "...Rainbow Bridge..." and wanted to read that right away.

A happy woman
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#72 of 121 Old 01-22-2009, 08:20 PM
 
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I'm beginning to think I should be taking notes as I read since I can't underline in the library's copy of the book. There are a few parts that really resonated with me:

Quote:
One of our primary tasks as our children's first teachers is to provide them with impressions of the world that are appropriate for them to copy.
Quote:
We also need to strive ourselves to model appropriate behavior....Our actions speak louder than our words with the young child....Through us, children learn whether or not their initial love and trust in the world was well founded.
(from page 19 in the second edition)

These passages are such good reminders for me as both ds and I have gone through a somewhat trying period recently as both me and the kids adjust to dh's new job. While not earth shattering it's certainly one of those things to be filed as a "good reminder".

Right now I'm in chapter 3 - I love the whole picture of "growing down and waking up". It's such a great way to look at it!
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#73 of 121 Old 01-23-2009, 01:51 AM
 
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I am going to be lurking rather than reading and commenting afterall. I have a serious family medical emergency that popped up this week and I am not mentally checked into reality right now, let alone books.

Hopefully I will catch up another time.

Mama to Zach 6-18-04 & Naia 10-13-10 Partner to the sweetest DH. Loving our life afloat. TV Free!
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#74 of 121 Old 01-23-2009, 02:15 AM
 
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I am going to be lurking rather than reading and commenting afterall. I have a serious family medical emergency that popped up this week and I am not mentally checked into reality right now, let alone books.

Hopefully I will catch up another time.

Marina, married to one really great guy : and mama to three magical boys- Matteo 8/05, Nico 11/06 and Luca Bean 11/08
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#75 of 121 Old 01-23-2009, 03:13 AM
 
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I am going to be lurking rather than reading and commenting afterall. I have a serious family medical emergency that popped up this week and I am not mentally checked into reality right now, let alone books.

Hopefully I will catch up another time.
I hope everyone is ok, you're in my thoughts Mama.
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#76 of 121 Old 01-23-2009, 11:50 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I am going to be lurking rather than reading and commenting afterall. I have a serious family medical emergency that popped up this week and I am not mentally checked into reality right now, let alone books.

Hopefully I will catch up another time.
i'll keep you in positive thought and send you lots of s.

: blogging about life, beauty, crafting, healing, waldorf...

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#77 of 121 Old 01-23-2009, 01:31 PM
 
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i'd love to join if that's okay....i may have to lurk for a bit or ask questions as we are just now trying to dig out of dh being laid off in august (looks like he finally got a job!), so will be a bit before i can afford to order books, but i love the idea of a waldorf book club!

Cat - Mother to Jonathon (1-24-1987) ; Lola (3-24-2003) ; Xiola (9-27-2005) : 8 wks (4-2008) ; 11 1/2 weeks (9-2008); and 7.5 weeks (5-2010) Nana to William (3-27-2009) Blog: AmLo Farms
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#78 of 121 Old 01-23-2009, 03:05 PM
 
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I am going to be lurking rather than reading and commenting afterall. I have a serious family medical emergency that popped up this week and I am not mentally checked into reality right now, let alone books.
Hope things get better soon.
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#79 of 121 Old 01-23-2009, 08:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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welcome catballou24...

so i had this thought last night after reading...
i spent the first 8 years of my life in a quaint house, with a garden we grew all of our vegetables in, a yard with fruit trees and grape vines (that i fondly remember helping make jams and jellies out of). our yard backed up to a pasture with dairy cows. i remember as a child (and my parents tell stories on me) singing to the cows. i'd go out daily and share my snack with them and sing. my dad says that on days i was not home (or sick) the cows would still congregate in anticipation. it was a childhood i have fond memories of...i played a lot in our backyard and made potions (water, dirt, leaves, rocks) and the like. on days inside i would play in the closet under the stairs or with my imaginary friend.

my brothers were 5 and 3 when we moved. we moved to a country club subdivision in a golfing community, with a pool and no unlandscaped (sorry for the double negative, but it seemed to be appropriate ) backyard.

meaningful work was not part of their lives nearly as much. i remember my mom talking about having to teach them to do their laundry after highschool in preparation for college. where as i was doing my own laundry at age 10 and have memories of "helping" iron at age 6.

i just wonder how these different experiences in the early years affected us. hmmm......just a thought i had. it's terrifically interesting and not something i have ever really considered before.

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#80 of 121 Old 01-23-2009, 09:10 PM
 
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I'm jumping on board a tad late. I read Baldwin's book when my son was an infant (he's turning 4 in March). It was an amazing book and really got my gears flowing for this Waldorf journey. I've been all over the place, (I got totally obsessed about learning whatever I could about Waldorf) got scared out of my mind from the naysayers, dropped it altogether for a bit to gain perspective. After allowing my thoughts to simmer, I decided that I liked it and wanted to learn more but I wanted to read Steiner education theories straight from the horse's mouth (so to speak) and form my own conclusions. It's been the best choice I could have made. I'd love to include one of the books from Steiner's lectures on child development, if you ladies wouldn't mind that as well.

Btw, my son is homeschooled by me for now but there is a local homeschooling Waldorf group I put my son in from time to time as well. My goal is to mainstream him in institutional schooling at some point.


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  • on pg. 19 baldwin talks about her own "aah-ha!" moment when the lights began to go on for her during her studies of steiner's works. when did the lights go on for you? what was it?

My aah-ha moment was reading The Continuum Concept. I loved that book and it felt a bit like waking from the matrix....lol From there I decided I wanted to spend a lot of time in nature with my son and from there I found Waldorf. When I came across Waldorf, it just clicked and the rest was history for me.
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#81 of 121 Old 01-24-2009, 01:47 AM
 
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I've just finished this section (I started reading about 2 weeks ago), and I have some highlights that I've noted. I'll take them in chunks so we can all talk.

P. 17
Quote:
The child between birth and age seven experiences the world primarily through her body. The senses are completely open, without filters or buffers, beginning the moment of birth. ... Two things are happening through sense impressions from birth through age seven. one is that the child's growth and development are being shaped by the impressions she takes in, just as a sculptor might work with clay. ... The second thing the child is doing through sense impressions is learning about the world. Through the body the baby learns about near and far, attainable and unattainable. ... When the child reaches age three and beyond, what is taken in with the senses is also transformed and comes out again in the creative play and imagination of the young child.
This just speaks volumes to me! It is so true that our children are the sum of their experiences. The only thing that children do is experience what happens around, in and to them. It really makes me mindful of what I do with and to my children each day, so that they will see what is appropriate and what I want their lives to be filled with.

P. 19
Quote:
Children enter the world with a great deal of love and trust. They are not yet able to perceive good and bad but take everything as good and appropriate to absorb and unconsciously imitate.
How incredibly true. Children have no concept of good or bad - not even when we label good and bad for them. Telling them that something is good or bad does not make good or bad mean anything to them. Therefore, our children will imitate the bad along with the good. So, keeping a child's exposure to the "bad" will limit the negativity that he or she will act out. Of course, every child will hit, kick, bite, etc without ever having been hit or seeing hitting. But, if you have ever been with a group of children who often watch violent programming on television, or something similar, their actions go beyond hitting out of frustration to mock fighting or even real fighting, with no concept of it being good or bad. I remember when Power Rangers was such a huge hit and every preschooler I knew was mocking martial arts at family gatherings and it was ok that they were kicking and hitting the adults because they were the red ranger or the green ranger. Of course, the entire thing was completely inappropriate, but these children had no concept of being good or bad, they were simply imitating what they took in. On the same level, when I am hurried, or agitated, or spending my day on the computer, I am showing my children that this is the appropriate way to behave. Of course, that isn't at all what I want them to be like, so I must be a better example!

Quote:
One of our primary tasks as our children's first teachers is to provide them with impressions of the world that are appropriate for them to copy. This means guiding and protecting them in a world of urban frenzy and surrounding them with experiences that teach them about the world in a gentle way by letting them do things directly themselves and later act them out in their play.
I love this! Primary task. I want my own life to be calm, not inundated with things that must be done right this minute, and not full of loud noises and bright lights. Why would I surround my children with those things? And I've always had Sofi right by my side, working with me. She knows where things are and how things work. When I get the potatoes out of the pantry, she opens the drawer in front of her chair and gets out the peelers. She carries laundry and puts it away. She helps to load the dishwasher, clothes washer and dryer and pushes the buttons. I've never felt that it was fair to be so busy doing for her that I couldn't do with her. And I am starting to see her bring these things back out in her play. It is really so rewarding!

I've got more, but I don't want to get too far ahead of everyone else. I'll come back later with more of what I've written down.

Kellie - Mama to Sofi (06), Walter (08), and Baby "Lorraine" due May 30, 11.
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#82 of 121 Old 01-24-2009, 03:52 AM
 
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I am trying to keep up, reading a minute here and there...all 3 boys are sick (poor 6 week old ds has quite a cough ) so my free minutes are few and far between.
I have read the book before though, and am greatly enjoying the discussion here thus far!

MommyPants, your post is so inspirational. I feel like I've gotten so caught up in doing things for my DC that I'm not taking the time to let them do things with me, and they so love to!

Hopefully we don't have too much longer with these colds and I can delve in a little deeper.
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#83 of 121 Old 01-24-2009, 11:47 AM
 
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I love this! Primary task. I want my own life to be calm, not inundated with things that must be done right this minute, and not full of loud noises and bright lights. Why would I surround my children with those things? And I've always had Sofi right by my side, working with me. She knows where things are and how things work. When I get the potatoes out of the pantry, she opens the drawer in front of her chair and gets out the peelers. She carries laundry and puts it away. She helps to load the dishwasher, clothes washer and dryer and pushes the buttons. I've never felt that it was fair to be so busy doing for her that I couldn't do with her. And I am starting to see her bring these things back out in her play. It is really so rewarding!
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MommyPants, your post is so inspirational. I feel like I've gotten so caught up in doing things for my DC that I'm not taking the time to let them do things with me, and they so love to!

This is one of the reasons I found my way into Waldorf. I parented my child the first 9 months of his life via Dr. Sears' version of AP. By 9 months I was burnt out and I felt my household was completely child centered (that's when I read The Continuum Concept and I have never been the same as a mother or a person since). Following Sears' version of AP felt false to me since it is not reality. Relationships take in all the people involved equally, no body is superior and no body is inferior. Steiner's views on child development just felt right to me. It is family focused and completely sensitive to the incarnating child's needs. Mom doesn't nor should she wait until child is sleeping to tend to the daily tasks of the home. Mom keeps herself occupied and allows child to freely enter the work (contract) and leave the work (expand) throughout the course of the day. This creates a natural rhythym in the home of expanding and contracting which is very healthy for a developing child's maturation.

It also addresses the under 7's child's needs to imitate. As soon as a child is born s/he is a being of will who has this uncontrollable need to imitate (from walking upright, to using spoken language, etc etc). How can a child learn how to 'be' in this world if mom/dad are focusing on child only? Child is looking to mom/dad to learn about this world - so if mom and dad are merely looking back to child for direction, well, that is a recipe for disaster imho. Child does not need to have unneccessary pressure to discover how to be in this world, child need only be placed in situations where child can watch, observe then imitate what mom and dad (and brother/sister or better yet tribe) do. This is the natural order of things, this is how humans have learned for hundreds of thousands of years. Just because in modern day humanity we are no longer hunters/gatherers or having to work to till the fields etc (with the onset of modern machinery) does not mean our underlying blueprint as humans has changed.
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#84 of 121 Old 01-24-2009, 03:43 PM
 
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Originally Posted by PrincessDoll View Post
This is one of the reasons I found my way into Waldorf. I parented my child the first 9 months of his life via Dr. Sears' version of AP. By 9 months I was burnt out and I felt my household was completely child centered (that's when I read The Continuum Concept and I have never been the same as a mother or a person since). Following Sears' version of AP felt false to me since it is not reality. Relationships take in all the people involved equally, no body is superior and no body is inferior. Steiner's views on child development just felt right to me. It is family focused and completely sensitive to the incarnating child's needs. Mom doesn't nor should she wait until child is sleeping to tend to the daily tasks of the home. Mom keeps herself occupied and allows child to freely enter the work (contract) and leave the work (expand) throughout the course of the day. This creates a natural rhythym in the home of expanding and contracting which is very healthy for a developing child's maturation.

It also addresses the under 7's child's needs to imitate. As soon as a child is born s/he is a being of will who has this uncontrollable need to imitate (from walking upright, to using spoken language, etc etc). How can a child learn how to 'be' in this world if mom/dad are focusing on child only? Child is looking to mom/dad to learn about this world - so if mom and dad are merely looking back to child for direction, well, that is a recipe for disaster imho. Child does not need to have unneccessary pressure to discover how to be in this world, child need only be placed in situations where child can watch, observe then imitate what mom and dad (and brother/sister or better yet tribe) do. This is the natural order of things, this is how humans have learned for hundreds of thousands of years. Just because in modern day humanity we are no longer hunters/gatherers or having to work to till the fields etc (with the onset of modern machinery) does not mean our underlying blueprint as humans has changed.

I love what you wrote. I'm a new mommy and I've been starting to feel unsatisfied with Dr. Sears AP (although between ages 0-6months, i feel it's great for baby to be more centered). I've been finding it hard to transition from being so baby centered without feeling guilty. But, what you said is so great. She is 10 months and is so observant of everything that I do. She is fascinated when I do dishes and "chores", and she appreciates her alone time to explore things on her own.

I've been reading "Everyday Blessings: the inner work of mindful parenting". They talk about recognizing your own sovereignty and respecting it in others. How do we honor our childs own sovereignty and also respect our own? It goes on to say that each persons sovereignty is independent and interconnected with everybody else's for we are all part of a larger whole and everything we do affects each other. This is an important lesson for children to learn and by making our lives so child centered, it can be detrimental to their own development as citizens of the world.
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#85 of 121 Old 01-24-2009, 04:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I've been reading "Everyday Blessings: the inner work of mindful parenting". They talk about recognizing your own sovereignty and respecting it in others. How do we honor our childs own sovereignty and also respect our own? It goes on to say that each persons sovereignty is independent and interconnected with everybody else's for we are all part of a larger whole and everything we do affects each other.
i too am an ap parent with a shelf full of dr. sears books, and they have their place in our lives. i also like steiner's ideas and am finding them more true to what i believe.

everyday blessings...has been a longstanding favorite parenting book of mine. it seems to embody a balance that is more natural for myself and my family.

i just love that we have all had similar ventures in our quest for our children! !

: blogging about life, beauty, crafting, healing, waldorf...

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#86 of 121 Old 01-26-2009, 07:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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so how is everyone doing with the reading? i know many are just popping in from time to time....
is there more that would help you?

just wanted to check in!

: blogging about life, beauty, crafting, healing, waldorf...

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#87 of 121 Old 01-26-2009, 07:46 PM
 
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Uhhhh. I'm the worlds slowest reader only because I daydream and think so much while reading. I'm not very far because I feel like this book is so dense with amazing information and I'm digesting it carefully. It's really fascinating and I love the way it is written!

Maybe I should read faster and just give in to the fact that this is a multiple read over the next years!
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#88 of 121 Old 01-26-2009, 08:03 PM
 
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Uhhhh. I'm the worlds slowest reader only because I daydream and think so much while reading. I'm not very far because I feel like this book is so dense with amazing information and I'm digesting it carefully. It's really fascinating and I love the way it is written!

Maybe I should read faster and just give in to the fact that this is a multiple read over the next years!
:

its definitely a book I want to read slowly and marinate in.

~jen~ )O( mama to k 07/05 o 5/08 and c 12/09
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#89 of 121 Old 01-27-2009, 12:26 PM
 
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I am trying to keep up, reading a minute here and there...all 3 boys are sick (poor 6 week old ds has quite a cough ) so my free minutes are few and far between.
I have read the book before though, and am greatly enjoying the discussion here thus far!
Hope the boys are feeling better

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Originally Posted by PrincessDoll View Post
This is one of the reasons I found my way into Waldorf. I parented my child the first 9 months of his life via Dr. Sears' version of AP. By 9 months I was burnt out and I felt my household was completely child centered (that's when I read The Continuum Concept and I have never been the same as a mother or a person since). Following Sears' version of AP felt false to me since it is not reality. Relationships take in all the people involved equally, no body is superior and no body is inferior. Steiner's views on child development just felt right to me. It is family focused and completely sensitive to the incarnating child's needs. Mom doesn't nor should she wait until child is sleeping to tend to the daily tasks of the home. Mom keeps herself occupied and allows child to freely enter the work (contract) and leave the work (expand) throughout the course of the day. This creates a natural rhythym in the home of expanding and contracting which is very healthy for a developing child's maturation.

It also addresses the under 7's child's needs to imitate. As soon as a child is born s/he is a being of will who has this uncontrollable need to imitate (from walking upright, to using spoken language, etc etc). How can a child learn how to 'be' in this world if mom/dad are focusing on child only? Child is looking to mom/dad to learn about this world - so if mom and dad are merely looking back to child for direction, well, that is a recipe for disaster imho. Child does not need to have unneccessary pressure to discover how to be in this world, child need only be placed in situations where child can watch, observe then imitate what mom and dad (and brother/sister or better yet tribe) do. This is the natural order of things, this is how humans have learned for hundreds of thousands of years. Just because in modern day humanity we are no longer hunters/gatherers or having to work to till the fields etc (with the onset of modern machinery) does not mean our underlying blueprint as humans has changed.
This really sums up a lot of my feelings. Like crookedsprout says below I found Sears very useful in the beginning, but as the babies get older (especially when you have more than one ) it is really necessary to take all family members into consideration.

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Originally Posted by crookedsprout View Post
I love what you wrote. I'm a new mommy and I've been starting to feel unsatisfied with Dr. Sears AP (although between ages 0-6months, i feel it's great for baby to be more centered). I've been finding it hard to transition from being so baby centered without feeling guilty. But, what you said is so great. She is 10 months and is so observant of everything that I do. She is fascinated when I do dishes and "chores", and she appreciates her alone time to explore things on her own.

I've been reading "Everyday Blessings: the inner work of mindful parenting". They talk about recognizing your own sovereignty and respecting it in others. How do we honor our childs own sovereignty and also respect our own? It goes on to say that each persons sovereignty is independent and interconnected with everybody else's for we are all part of a larger whole and everything we do affects each other. This is an important lesson for children to learn and by making our lives so child centered, it can be detrimental to their own development as citizens of the world.

I have Everyday Blessings on my nightstand waiting to be read...maybe we can do that one as one of our books.
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#90 of 121 Old 01-27-2009, 03:45 PM
 
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do you mind if I ask which books from steiner did you read about child raising and families? I am still quite new to the waldorf concept and did not read any orginal stuff from steiner yet - which book would you recommend after "YAYCFT"?

Trin with DH , DD(7)  and DS(5) ,  DD(2) ,
I am not regularly online at the moment due to the above ...
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