Please be brutally honest about this letter to the school: - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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Old 10-30-2009, 12:59 AM
 
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If you get anything other than an immediate plan of action to correct the issue, get out of there. There are some scary Waldorf schools out there.
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Old 10-30-2009, 01:02 AM
 
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Originally Posted by MicheleRMT View Post
Wow do I ever suck as a letter writer compared to your wonderful smart letter!!!!
One slightly awkward sentense is better than My whole awkward letter.

But the parent handbook does say that the 3 incident does lead to explusion, but they just Fail to go to that step 3.
Well, yes, they are getting money from the parents after all. Expulsion means fewer students.
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Old 10-30-2009, 01:04 AM
 
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Take due notice and govern yourselves accordingly.
May I use this in my own correspondence? Please?
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Old 10-30-2009, 01:51 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Well, yes, they are getting money from the parents after all. Expulsion means fewer students.
I know, that's what my dh is saying.

My dd is just so happy at this school. I'm still crossing my fingers.
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Old 10-30-2009, 02:21 AM
 
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I know, that's what my dh is saying.

My dd is just so happy at this school. I'm still crossing my fingers.
Hey, as long as she's happy and you haven't signed any contracts.

It's kind of late so I'm getting a bit anxious about the universe, but have you had the "always tell me when bad things happen even if another adult says not to" talk?
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Old 10-30-2009, 05:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
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have you had the "always tell me when bad things happen even if another adult says not to" talk?
No I've never thought of that before. (I'll definately add that.) We are VERY close anyway. Plus I'm like a relentless lawyer when I question her about things. I ask her the same thing in 5 different ways in case she's not paying attention or might forget something. ESPECIALLY after school when I ask her if she or anybody else got hit by anybody.
So far so good.
Thanks.
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Old 10-31-2009, 01:09 PM
 
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No I've never thought of that before. (I'll definately add that.) We are VERY close anyway. Plus I'm like a relentless lawyer when I question her about things. I ask her the same thing in 5 different ways in case she's not paying attention or might forget something. ESPECIALLY after school when I ask her if she or anybody else got hit by anybody.
So far so good.
Thanks.
At your Dd's age, it can be really hard for them to recall their day when questioned in an abstract way. Of course it depends upon the child, but I found sometimes asking a simple question like "who did you sit next to at lunch" can then lead to an avalanche of discussion as they naturally recall who they sat by, what they talked about, who they walked outside to play with, etc.
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Old 10-31-2009, 08:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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At your Dd's age, it can be really hard for them to recall their day when questioned in an abstract way. Of course it depends upon the child, but I found sometimes asking a simple question like "who did you sit next to at lunch" can then lead to an avalanche of discussion as they naturally recall who they sat by, what they talked about, who they walked outside to play with, etc.
Don't worry, I ask it ALL. I ask in simples ways not abstract.
I'm a RMT but I only take patients during the day when dd is at school. I pick her up from school and I'm with her until bed, pretty much. Plus, I didn't work, (money work) at all when she was born until she was at school grade 2. So we are very close.
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Old 11-02-2009, 11:28 AM
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i think it would be great if this could be completely resolved.

it is so frustrating for me to read these letters because i find that, in general, no one gives a crap about bullying in any school.

i grant you, it was another generation, but what happened to your daughter happened to me grade after grade, school after school from 4th grade on. i went to public schools and i went to private schools. i was blamed, or deemed 'too sensitive' and over time, i gave up telling because when i did, the teachers would (verbally, emotionally) abuse me too.

honestly, this isn't just a waldorf issue, and it's likely that you would have to pursue things regardless of which school, unless your daughter didn't happen to be the scape goat of that social circle.

i write this only because somewhere else may be better, but it may not be. if your daughter loves this school, it actually may be better for her to stay, because you cannot assume that any other school would be better.

this does not mean don't stand up for her either. you must. but i would until i get results that are tangable to me.

and FWIW, i would send the letter *now* rather than waiting at all. don't wait a couple of weeks to "see how things are" and if the "warm welcome" has settled down. it could be that the kids were excited/distracted by the celebration (halloween) and then will pick back up again. this happened often to me. i *loved* holidays because bullies back off. even they are happy at the holidays. i actually could have cared less about the holiday, i needed the emotional rest.

so i would send the letter now and get some notice. BTW, what is helpful about the letter is that it begins a record. oral conversations can be "forgotten" but when it's written, they have to address it.
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Old 11-03-2009, 02:36 AM
 
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I am so impressed with the support and the writers/editors of this letter. Michele, please keep us posted.
Anne
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Old 11-03-2009, 04:07 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I am so impressed with the support and the writers/editors of this letter. Michele, please keep us posted.
Anne
So am I very impressed. It's so nice people have helped out with this letter, also people have been PMing me as well. I am so grateful and touched that the women here spent so much time and effort on a perfect stranger.
I love you guys.

The good news is my dd has not been bullied since Oct.18 so I am just holding on to the letter just in case she gets bullied again. I think the teacher is more atuned to this one bully child now. The kids were out in the yard building a shelter with the teacher for the last hour today. I wondered why bully child was sitting in the class alone when I went to pick up dd.
After school dd said that he was trashing the work they were all doing so the teacher sent him back to the class.
Michele
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Old 11-03-2009, 06:21 AM
 
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honestly, i wouldnt wait until there is another incident of bullying to hand teh school the letter. I would still hand it/mail it to them - because they in fact need to make sure that whatever policy they have adopted for their school is getting followed

~Kris mama to Alexis (15), Elizabeth (10), Andrew (7), and 1 angel
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Old 11-03-2009, 11:35 AM
 
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The good news is my dd has not been bullied since Oct.18 so I am just holding on to the letter just in case she gets bullied again. I think the teacher is more atuned to this one bully child now. The kids were out in the yard building a shelter with the teacher for the last hour today. I wondered why bully child was sitting in the class alone when I went to pick up dd.
After school dd said that he was trashing the work they were all doing so the teacher sent him back to the class.
Michele[/QUOTE]


This kid obviously has issues, and it's good that the teacher has finally taken notice. I'm glad that Angie has been going to school in peace, and I hope this other kid gets some help dealing with whatever he's going through.
Anne
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Old 11-03-2009, 07:17 PM
 
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Originally Posted by MicheleRMT View Post

The good news is my dd has not been bullied since Oct.18 so I am just holding on to the letter just in case she gets bullied again.
If you don't send the letter, will you pay the bond?

BC Mum of four ('05, '07, '11 and 06/14!)     
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Old 11-04-2009, 04:28 AM
 
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I totally concur with KJoselyn. This is a serious matter and the described incidents should never have happened to your daughter and they should never happen to anyone else's. The only way to hope the same scenario won't play out is to have an open discussion and review of policies. Besides, if details need to be discussed further with admin, etc. then it will be fresh in your mind and you daughter's mind.

It should also give you a greater peace of mind with the issue of the bond, rather than a nagging feeling that they are going to meet your needs. I doubt you would get any bond money back if something were to happen later.

Anyway, that is what I would do because I would want to know that they are going to be able to handle serious issues and enforce, revise, and/or new implement policies regarding bullying before I gave them that kind of lump sum.
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Old 11-04-2009, 06:22 PM
 
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I agree with most of the other posters. Please send in that letter! Many mamas helped out with it and just because your dd isn't be bullied doesn't mean that someone else isn't.

DS1 2-17-07 DS2 1-1-09
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Old 11-04-2009, 06:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I appreciate every one's help on it. I asked my dd if anyone else is being bullied as well and she said no. So, again, I decided to hold on to that letter for future if I need to use it.
I gave them the bond money.
My dd LOVES the school and her teacher. She's very VERY happy there.
Thank you again.
Michele
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Old 11-05-2009, 01:59 AM - Thread Starter
 
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oops
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Old 11-06-2009, 01:18 AM
 
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Closed by request. Have a good evening!

 
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