My dd got told to not wear her hair like that! - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 58 Old 02-09-2011, 12:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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She puts it all in a pony tail at the back and leaves a chunk of hair along the front/side that's NOT hanging in her face.  It looks nice. 

Yesterday the teacher said it's not appropriete  for class learning. 

But today was parent watching day and there were 3 other girls with a hunk of hair just like this and one girl was SUCKING the hanging hair!

Has anyone heard of this rule?

She's 10.  ANd doesn't have green hair.  No makeup no slutty clothes. And does not suck her hair.

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#2 of 58 Old 02-09-2011, 12:23 PM
 
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That's just totally ridiculous.

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#3 of 58 Old 02-09-2011, 12:46 PM
 
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I am guessing that the policy is in reaction to the girl-who-sucks-her-hair. Seems a bit extreme though...

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#4 of 58 Old 02-09-2011, 12:48 PM
 
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I would firmly point out to the teacher the three other girls with their hair that way and ask why she's just picking on your daughter!

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#5 of 58 Old 02-09-2011, 01:04 PM
 
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Meh.  Not something I get myself worked up about. 

 

And honestly I think saying other kids do it too just sounds petty and childish. For all you know they and/or their parents were told the same thing and are either ignoring or it may have just started. If you feel that strongly about this issue set up a meeting with teacher and ask to review the dress code requirements, keeping it focused on your own child.


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#6 of 58 Old 02-09-2011, 01:41 PM
 
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I would firmly point out to the teacher that it's not up to her to decide how your daughter wears her hair. As I have done before and will do again should the situation arises. Unless someone thing is clearly a violation of the dress code, the teacher has no right to dictate what any child does with his or her hair.


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#7 of 58 Old 02-09-2011, 01:45 PM
 
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Were you/she told *what* exactly was inappropriate about it? I'd ask. Not "like that" is not much to go on, it could mean anything.

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#8 of 58 Old 02-09-2011, 02:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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This is what she typed to me:

 

No, her hair is not messy.  Part of her hair was pulled back today, with a section curled and loose in the front.  I thought she may have forgotten to pull it back with the rest of her hair, but that was not the case and though it was not a distraction for her, I would question the style for our learning environment.  I did not share that with her.

 

 

 

 

I am going to talk to the teacher today after school.  now!

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#9 of 58 Old 02-09-2011, 04:48 PM
 
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Based on this post and some of your other ones I think you teacher is on a power trip.  KUP!

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#10 of 58 Old 02-09-2011, 07:14 PM
 
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To me it sounds like the teacher is unhappy that your daughter is attempting to style her hair, not just pull it back for practicality.  I would not be happy with that level of involvement with my child's style/mode of dress.

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#11 of 58 Old 02-09-2011, 07:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yes I agree.  I chatted with her after school and she backed down.  :)

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#12 of 58 Old 02-09-2011, 07:28 PM
 
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That's nice that it worked out. smile.gif

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#13 of 58 Old 02-09-2011, 08:47 PM
 
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I'm glad it worked out!  BTW, did she ever realize your DD had her spa day?  ;)

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#14 of 58 Old 02-09-2011, 09:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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hehe no she didn't even notice.  It's so natural looking. 

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#15 of 58 Old 02-09-2011, 09:44 PM
 
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:)

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#16 of 58 Old 02-12-2011, 04:50 PM
 
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is it curled with a curler/curling iron?

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#17 of 58 Old 02-13-2011, 09:49 AM - Thread Starter
 
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no.

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#18 of 58 Old 02-13-2011, 01:36 PM
 
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hmm, just wondering, her reply made it sound as though it had been done with a curler, which might explain why she thought it was not appropriate...?

"No, her hair is not messy.  Part of her hair was pulled back today, with a section curled and loose in the front."

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#19 of 58 Old 02-13-2011, 09:48 PM
 
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Originally Posted by TheSlingMama View Post

I'm glad it worked out!  BTW, did she ever realize your DD had her spa day?  ;)

 

I was wondering that too! Is it normal for Waldorf classrooms to be so concerned about the appearance of the students? I can understand an aversion to logo and character clothing and accessories, but from what I've gleaned from your posts, it sounds like your school is pretty controlling about it--or is it just that teacher?

 

We're considering a Waldorf-inspired school for K next year, and one of the attractive things is that it isn't strict Waldorf. But that's also one of the drawbacks!

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#20 of 58 Old 02-13-2011, 10:35 PM
 
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Originally Posted by ecoteat View Post

I was wondering that too! Is it normal for Waldorf classrooms to be so concerned about the appearance of the students? I can understand an aversion to logo and character clothing and accessories, but from what I've gleaned from your posts, it sounds like your school is pretty controlling about it--or is it just that teacher?

 

We're considering a Waldorf-inspired school for K next year, and one of the attractive things is that it isn't strict Waldorf. But that's also one of the drawbacks!



I think they do pay attention to dress/styling that could be distracting from lessons - either to the class as a whole or to the particular child (for example, if they have their hair falling into their eyes the teacher may ask the parents to get their hair cut or wear something in their hair to keep it back).  I actually like this, that they care so much.  HOWEVER, I'm not saying that was the case in regards to OP, I couldn't really say and am only speaking from experiences I've seen.  

 

 

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#21 of 58 Old 02-15-2011, 05:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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hmm, just wondering, her reply made it sound as though it had been done with a curler, which might explain why she thought it was not appropriate...?

"No, her hair is not messy.  Part of her hair was pulled back today, with a section curled and loose in the front."


oooh ha ha.

No she curled it with sponge rollers the night before.  But it turned out just a little waveyish. he he
 

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#22 of 58 Old 02-16-2011, 07:19 AM
 
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Regardless, I don't see how it makes a difference.  If it wasn't hanging in her face to distract her learning, I don't see how it could distract anyone else.  :)

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#23 of 58 Old 02-16-2011, 01:55 PM
 
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I'm not sure if you are joking by saying haha but I can see that "curled" hair in that style could be a distraction.

 

Honestly, *that* is why I am at a WS. I do not want my 10 year old coming home asking for highlights and a curling iron LOL

Of course, I still wont do it but I prefer to have it a non-issue.

 

I stand by our schools dress (and hair/make-up) policy 100%.

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#24 of 58 Old 02-16-2011, 02:04 PM
 
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Originally Posted by radish View Post

I'm not sure if you are joking by saying haha but I can see that "curled" hair in that style could be a distraction.

 

Honestly, *that* is why I am at a WS. I do not want my 10 year old coming home asking for highlights and a curling iron LOL

Of course, I still wont do it but I prefer to have it a non-issue.

 

I stand by our schools dress (and hair/make-up) policy 100%.


lol, I'm not sure sponge rollers have been a fashion draw since the 50s.  I don't exactly see using old lady beauty products (and we're talking great grandma's teen fashion fads here) as kids growing up too fast... unless you're talking 9 going on 90.  When I was little, I used to make my mother put my hair up in rag curls, like in one of the Little House books.  What's funny is that, naturally, my hair is very curly!  But it was just the sort of make-believe I liked to play: that I lived in the olden days.

 

As someone who has naturally curly hair, I don't see how curly hair is a "distraction."


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#25 of 58 Old 02-16-2011, 05:57 PM
 
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I dont think the other 10 year-olds know *how* the curls got there (hot iron vs sponge) just that they are new/fun/interesting, on a child (who I assume) does not have naturally curly hair.

And I doubt the teacher thinks naturally curly hair is a distraction. :)

 

I assume the hair style looks similar to this (first few pix) 

If so, I see how it can be a physical distraction-hair in face and a social distraction.

 

Our school dress code does not allow hair color, make-up, nail polish etc until the upper grades (6-8). Even then it is at the teachers/schools discretion.

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#26 of 58 Old 02-16-2011, 09:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Here's a pic of her hair the day she got told:

https://picasaweb.google.com/michelermt/AngieSHair#5574527666782009378

 

I know now it's because the long hunk was in her face.  It had nothing  to do with the curls as you can see her hair wasn't that curly.  By the way, I wore sponge rollers in my hair EVERY night from kindergarden to grade 2.  So it's not a teen thing. (I hated those curls!) 

Also the teacher had NO idea that she streaked her hair.  Plus her hair is naturally frizzy/wavey if you will. 

Her new style is https://picasaweb.google.com/michelermt/ValentineSParty#5572639705123550434  Which I like waaaaaaaaaaay way way better but notice it's still in her face. (She's the middle child here.)

 

The teacher also didn't notice she got a manicure.  Her nail polish was clear with a bit of sparkel.

I'm a reg. massage therapist so of course she's going to be curious and interested in that kind of thing.

Also we have the exact same rules about make up etc.  Grade 6 they're allowed but it has to be nice not naughty. :)

 

Oh and that avatar pic is the BEFORE she got streaks, as you can see, it looks the same.

I don't think that would cause your and any other child to say 'I want a curling iron and I want to get my hair coloured!'.

If so bring out those dumb sponge rollers.  he he

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#27 of 58 Old 02-16-2011, 09:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
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I stand by our schools dress (and hair/make-up) policy 100%.



Well good for you!

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#28 of 58 Old 02-17-2011, 01:04 AM
 
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I'm really glad our WS does not have this level of involvement in the kids' lives!
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#29 of 58 Old 02-17-2011, 01:12 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm really glad our WS does not have this level of involvement in the kids' lives!


 Yes, I think it's a bit much.  ;)

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#30 of 58 Old 02-17-2011, 10:21 AM
 
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 Yes, I think it's a bit much.  wink1.gif


Definitely! And, sorry if I sounded snarky! No snark intended at *you*; rather, much snark going to the school.

It's this kind of stuff that gives Waldorf a bad name, I think. Like with so much in life, it's all about balance. I think it's fine to put some limits on rampant Disneyfication and make sure sugar-filled crap isn't being given out at school. I think it's another thing to be worrying about a bit of hair that doesn't seem to be causing anyone any problems!
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