Talking about miscarriage - Mothering Forums

Thread Tools
#1 of 4 Old 07-09-2014, 09:16 PM - Thread Starter
bean-e's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 202
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Talking about miscarriage

Hello mamas,

I am needing some advice on talking to my 5 year old about her auntie having a miscarriage in a way that is consistent with waldorf teachings.

DD has been attending preschool for the last two years. Each time there is a birthday in the class, they tell a simple story of the child coming into this world. The main theme of the stories are the same for all the children in that they wait in the garden with the angels until they are born. The idea of children waiting in the garden is very engrained in her. Whenever she asks about where she was in regard to events prior to her birth, all I have to tell her is that she was still in the garden and she no longer feels the need to understand where she was.

So how do I tie the concept of a miscarriage into the idea of children waiting in the garden before their birth? Her auntie was 4.5 months along when the miscarriage happened. DD has been told about the pregnancy and has talked about looking forward to meeting the baby and holding the baby. I have not been able to figure out a way to deliver the news of the miscarriage to her that is developmentally appropriate as well as sensitive to her aunt and uncle if she ever brings it up in front of them.

or if you have any experience telling children about miscarriages, I would love to hear about them too.

Thanks so much.
bean-e is offline  
Sponsored Links
#2 of 4 Old 07-15-2014, 07:29 PM
lauren's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: In a state of grace
Posts: 7,418
Mentioned: 18 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 164 Post(s)
I wanted to just acknowledge your post as moderator, though I am not a Waldorf expert. This is a difficult situation. I am sure someone with more knowledge of Waldorf teachings will be along shortly to help you!


User Agreement--
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
lauren is offline  
#3 of 4 Old 08-05-2014, 05:53 PM
Jacquelin's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 89
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Hi bean-e. This is a tough one. For a five year old I think I would keep things simple and say "The baby wasn't ready to be born yet and maybe someday soon auntie will have another baby in her tummy. Since we know she wants a baby, let's give her some hugs and kisses and let her know that we're hoping she gets another baby in her tummy too." If she asks more questions, I think I might go the "what do you think" route. In reality, her answers are probably as good as anyones. There are so many women who have miscarriages and no one knows the real reason why. What is most important is to let the woman know that she is loved and that she is not alone in her hopes that she becomes a mother someday. Hearing it from a child can be especially sweet.

I hope this helps! Let us know what worked! I am sure you are not the first person to have to discuss this with a very young child.
Jacquelin is offline  
#4 of 4 Old 08-26-2014, 09:03 AM
honeybunmom's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,894
Mentioned: 32 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 32 Post(s)
My daughter was 5 and entering Waldorf kindergarten (and had been in Waldorf preschool since age 2.5) when I had my last miscarriage. I simply told her the baby went back to live with God. I told her that some babies just want to know what it is like to be in their mama's belly and then they go back to live with God.

She is 8 now and sometimes talks about "the babies that died in [my] belly". So, she knows exactly what happened. But, I do not get any hint of trauma from her as she, and her now 5 year old brother (who was just over 2 at the time) discuss it very matter of factly.

Mama to a dd 10/05; ds 3/09, dd 2/15 and two angels. Expecting another miracle 7/16!
honeybunmom is offline  

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Online Users: 16,222

27 members and 16,195 guests
babydoulajo , Baby_Cakes , BirthFree , Chelsea59 , Deborah , girlspn , henry le , hillymum , JElaineB , karalynnskies , katelove , lisak1234 , Lovelyfreebird , manyhatsmom , Michele123 , moominmamma , MountainMamaGC , NaturallyKait , pgu2017 , philomom , Springshowers , thefragile7393 , zebra15
Most users ever online was 449,755, 06-25-2014 at 12:21 PM.