Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: by the Rideau River
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Originally Posted by beansavi
Okay, me again...
I want to maintain this thread as a supportive "lounge" environment, rather than an educational or debate-oriented thread, so I thought I would begin a new topic of conversation for those of us who have left, or been kicked out of the Waldorf movement.
Some issues my family has dealt with and ways to handle them are as follows:
1) Leaving the built-in, automatic community network, which includes friends of our children and friends we have made as parents.
This can be a lonely, yet liberating, transition time.
2) The pain of "I thought we were friends but now many in my community are literally telling me they "don't want to get involved", or "don't want to know about all the traumatic details" of what we went through. The school is "working" for their children, and so, that is "all [they] need to know".
Again, when we go through trauma, our friends are the ones we normally turn to for support. When many of these are no longer a resource, times can be very lonely indeed.
3) It is time to begin reaching out to family, being honest about what you went through (even if they think you were crazy for putting your kids there in the first place after hearing the story), and making new friends or reconnecting with those not involved in Waldorf. Expand your horizons.
4) It is also a good time not to underestimate the fact that you may be needing (and the chances are good for this) family or individual counseling, to gain perspective again.
Counseling helped my family enormously, because when an outsider scoffs immediately at some of the treatment you have received, it is very liberating to realize just how ridiculous some of the behavior you have gotten numb to really is.
5) Make a list of what worked for you in Waldorf, and what drew you to it in the first place. You do not have to give these things up. My children still have the tradition at Christmas that Santa sat by the fire carving in the old-fashioned way, a wooden toy for them as he and Mrs. Claus talked and thought about my kids only. I made up this tradition myself, and really enjoy looking at the Ostheimer and Kinderkram sites like The Wooden Wagon. However, I no longer order from companies that identify themselves as Waldorf associates or supporters. I also do not go to Waldorf craft fairs, etc.
What I do do is find the basic core of what was already existing within myself that Waldorf aligned with and thus drew me in: for me it was the crafts, songs, underlying spiritual acknowledgement, colors and textures. These elements are still very prevelant in my life and the lives of my family members.
By doing this, I have separated my identity from that of Waldorf. Losing our individual identity can be a common problem, and rediscovering it is crucial to our happiness and fulfillment.
Want to add anything? Please jump in!!!
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