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Waldorf Discipline

4K views 6 replies 5 participants last post by  anamama 
#1 ·
Would you say that Waldorf sort of has it's own "Waldorf discipline" way of doing things? If you could compare it to other versions, say TCS or UP or punitive or whatever you think of, what would you compare it to? What are your favorite books on Waldorf discipline and what have you seen recommended by your school? I attended a parenting conference a couple of years ago at our school with Jack Petrash and Kim Payne and really liked it, but left feeling like "please give me more!!" I am listening to some discipline CD's from a Waldorf conference in CO, too, but I thought I would ask here to see what you all think, too.
 
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#2 ·
I really like the way my son's school handles things. I try my best to be an UP parent, but that is an ongoing process and some days are better than others.

In his school the teachers speak very positively, and tell the kids what they CAN do. For instance, if a child is getting out of their chair at lunch they say, "Alex, you may sit in your chair" in a very sing-song-y voice. If the child continues to get out of his chair they would say something like, "Alex, you may sit in your chair or you may sit in my lap" and if he gets up again, they would entertain him in a teacher's lap. In the beginning, I came in to find my son playing with raisins while in a teachers lap on several occasions, happy as can be!

They do use 1-2-3 Magic which is where they say, "that's 1", "that's 2" and then 3 is a time out. But I have rarely seen that used, they seem to try redirection and the 1-2-3 stuff is only for really untolerable behavior.

My son, who can be very challenging, has responded so well to it. Sometimes I try to put the positive spin on things I ask him, and he will say, "Mommy, you are not a teacher!" lol lol
 
#3 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by fluttermama View Post
TCS or UP
What does that mean??

I am wondering about the whole discipline thing myself as I have seen children hit or hurt another child and not even be spoken to on several occassions.
I take my daughter away from a situation and talk to her about what's happening, how she feels and the best way to deal with it. It rarely escalates beyond that.

It's been on my mind since at our last parent child session a child hit and pushed my daughter and she then shouted "NO!". I went to get her as I could see that she was on the verge of hitting back. As I picked my daughter up to take her aside and talk about how to deal with aggression, I was told by the leader that "it's OK" meaning to leave it, which I wasn't going to do.

Don't get me wrong, I know it's completely normal for small kids to occassionally push or hit or not want to share but I do think it's important to talk to them about it as well.
 
#4 ·
In the situation that you described, I think it would depend on the child's age....I have heard the phrase "working to the side" in Waldorf circles, as in not meeting them head on with the issue but working to the side of the issue.

I am surprised about the 1-2-3 Magic...but then again what does the "time out" look like in your school?

TCS is taking children seriously, or non-coercive parenting, and UP is Unconditional Parenting which is similar but not the same....
 
#5 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by fluttermama View Post
In the situation that you described, I think it would depend on the child's age....I have heard the phrase "working to the side" in Waldorf circles, as in not meeting them head on with the issue but working to the side of the issue.

I am surprised about the 1-2-3 Magic...but then again what does the "time out" look like in your school?

TCS is taking children seriously, or non-coercive parenting, and UP is Unconditional Parenting which is similar but not the same....

I was surprised about the 1-2-3 Magic myself, but I've been happy with the way it's being used. They do supervise and intervene, there is no bullying. It's not something I would do in our home, but I find it works well in his school setting, and my son LOVES his school and teachers.
 
#6 ·
It's been our experience that there is a lot of redirecting and refocusing of the child in the sing-song voice. We've only attended parent / child classes so I'm not sure how valid my input is though. If the redirecting / refocusing doesn't work usually the parent will intervene and pull the child aside to have a talk.
 
#7 ·
The discipline at our Waldorf school is really working well for my son. I think that the fact that the day's rhythm is so structured, and everything is presented in such a matter of fact way, helps to keep the children on track. So much of the discipline in his classroom is based on the idea that children are very imitative (esp in early childhood), and if the teacher models positive behaviour, the children will follow suit. I find his teacher to be very firm when the children misbehave, but in a kind way, and in such a way that the children feel there is no argument, and are often redirected into doing something more appealing to them anyway.
It seems to me that Waldorf discipline is very very respectful of the child, but the boundaries of what is and is not acceptable are very clearly drawn.
I have been using some of these tactics more with my son, and it really works for us. He responds well to this sort of respectful guidance.
Also, I have read in a couple of books about "re-forming" the child's environment when they start to misbehave. Straighten the things in the room, tidy up the toys, reset the child's place at the table. Give them the proper structure they need to come back to themselves. This seems to work well, too. Especially if I ask that he help me re-form the space. It really cuts back the chaotic energy, and gives me a little peace, too!
 
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