Reading this thread has been a little difficult for me, as I will be induced 2 weeks early, after having an amnio to make sure my baby's lungs are developed. The induction is my choice.
I wish I could tell you that I am so confident in my decision, that I am not hurt by the judgement I am exposed to at times regarding my decision...but in all honesty, I am not. I have added anxiety if I am doing the "right" thing...and you know, the right thing for me is just that...my choice...and I so wish I wasn't such a questioning person at a time like this, and just fully trusted everyone else to tell me what I should do...but no one has walked in my shoes.
Let me tell you that I never thought I'd have children. Then, after some "work" I came to the conclusion that indeed I did want a child...or maybe 2! I was 37 years old. I wasn't even sure if I could get pregnant...and my DH had radiation for cancer (Hodgkins) in his late teens...but we got pg after one month...and prior to my extensive research, I thought I would go the route of a medicated birth...with a OB.
After doing some thinking...reading lots...I decided I didn't want that route at all...I chose a midwife, but she was part of an OB practice, so she was more "intervention" friendly than most independent mws. I went to her for 1/2 of my pg...and I began asking her "What will labor look like with you" and she was perplexed by this question. Eventually she understood what I was asking and basically said, the most important thing is making sure your baby girl is OK...so she was fine with interventions...pitocin...epidural...I asked her if I could walk around or if I'd be confined to the bed...with monitors...I asked if I could rent a tub and give birth in the water if that felt like a good thing for me at the time...Her answer was no...that they found this dangerous, (even though I would be giving birth in a hospital). So I looked for another mw, who was more in tune with what I wanted. And I found a practice 1 hour away from me, (I live in Seattle, so I have plenty of choices)...and I went there for the remainder of my pg.
I wanted now a homebirth...but our insurance wouldn't cover it...so we opted intead for a Birthing Center where no medical intervention or medication would be available. There was a lovely big tub in the middle of the room.
3 days before my due date, my little girl died inside me. I had an appointment that day with my mw...and I told her Olivia hadn't moved much that morning...she searched for her heartbeat with a stethescope for a while...and then said, "I found it...it's faint"...but attributed that to Olivia moving, plus it was getting tight in there. We left the appointment that afternoon not giving it another thought.
The next morning, I knew she was gone. I drove down another hour to the mws office and she then pulled out a handful of dopplers and even an NST machine. I was a bit surprised because she hadn't pulled them out the day before...when she had a hard time hearing her hb. Then it was confirmed, Livi was gone.
I won't even get into the grief, anger and guilt that has embraced my being for the last two years. But when I found out I was pregnant again, I decided I was going a completely different route. Not because I think mws are incompetent or anything like that...but because the bottom line is that I want a live baby...with a very "monitored" prenatal care. I have sadness about all this...my visits with my wonderful OB are 10 minutes at the most...with my mw, they avaraged 1 hour. I know that my desire for a homebirth...for a "natural" birth are not an option for me. I ended up having a lovely birth with Olivia, even though it was medicated and at the hospital...I was in control of what they did...and I know that the reason was was because Livi had already died...and I was in good health.
This pg has been just as great as my last. I am 8 weeks away from the amnio. My OB will not induce me without it, which I appreciate. I am already full of anxiety...I have been doing my birth plan and tears stream down my face as I know I will have to do a lot of things I know are not what I want...but you see, I feel as if I do not have a choice...There are no guarantees, I know that...but I am willing to go through whatever...even a c-section to have my little boy in my arms...alive.
So I know that for some of you, knowing my story, you will allow for the possibility that not all inductions are bad...although I will admit that mine too is for selfish reasons...but know that it is not an easy decision for me. I grapple with it every day...and I grieve not being able to have the birth I want...but am trying to find joy in the birth I will have...which will include all sorts of intervention and a bunch of people prodding and poking me and my baby...It's not what I'd want...but it's the best alternative for me.
So when you discuss these topics, which I believe are important to discuss...maybe consider that things are not always so black and white...and while talking about it here may feel good, as you will have little disagreement, maybe the "better" thing to do is to hang out still in those mainstream pg boards and educate women, especially those first time moms, that there are other ways to give birth...direct them to Naomi Wolf's book, "MISCONCEPTIONS"...or to website like this one. I too visit one of those websites, and I am in the minority in terms of my views...be they pg related or in terms of parenting...and even though sometimes I have to walk away from my computer lest I throw it out the window in frustration...or disbelief over what I'm reading...I decide to stay...and hang in there...and I have to say that this has paid off...I know I've impacted a few women's lives by not trying to convince them that my way was right and theirs wrong, but just sharing with them my path...and my excitement in being informed...that is empowerment.
Lastly, let me say that I pity my OB a bit, as even with all this, I question him a lot...and I really appreciate the fact that he knows that if I had my way, I wouldn't be one of his patients...and he is really compassionate and understanding...and I think I will be able to get him to "give in" on a couple of things...so that I can have some semblance of what I want. I hope I'm right.
And although this seems like a distant possibility now, I may chose in late July to forgo the induction and wait it out...although by the terror I feel now, I doubt it...but I've surprised myself before...so who knows.
I hope my post didn't come across as preachy...I just wanted to share with you that this future co-sleeping, non-circ, cloth diapering, AP mother to be needs to go down a difficult and unpopular path in these boards...and I'm sure I'm not the only one.