What Scares You About the Upcoming Birth of Baby? - Mothering Forums
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August 2005 > What Scares You About the Upcoming Birth of Baby?
MamaRBH's Avatar MamaRBH 06:43 PM 06-23-2005
I think it's very natural for us to have fears...

I have delievered twice in the past 3 years and am still afraid to deliver this baby boy... my biggest fear is that because he is SO big... I won't be able to deliver him w/out the help of pain meds.


What are your fears?

Jaimep's Avatar Jaimep 09:18 PM 06-23-2005
Same thing you are saying. I had pain meds for #1 and am hoping to do without this time. I am not really scared about it...just concerned I guess.

More worried about my 2 year old being jealous and feeling hurt.
~Megan~'s Avatar ~Megan~ 09:37 PM 06-23-2005
I don't really have any fears. I think that I'll be able to get through it and am planning on taking things as they come.
ChiroWife's Avatar ChiroWife 10:41 PM 06-23-2005
After pains
Tearing and needing stitches

Both are unknown to me from my first birth. I don't remember after pains, but my sister was telling me how horrible hers were with her second. And I had a VERY small tear and needed no stitches with DD.

I think the stitches scare me more.
heldt123's Avatar heldt123 11:14 PM 06-23-2005
I'm most afraid that something will go wrong with the baby. After that I'm afraid of tearing badly. And I'm also afraid that I may have to transfer to the hospital for some bazzar reason and get treated like crap or have something go wrong, like have to have baby in intensive care or something. These are not huge fears, they're just lurkers....
rainbowmoon's Avatar rainbowmoon 11:32 PM 06-23-2005
my big fear is dying. I know it's slightly irrational but I got very sick after ds was born and completley traumatized by it. I worry about it everyday but am doing well I think in working through it.
streetkitty's Avatar streetkitty 01:32 AM 06-24-2005
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaimep
Same thing you are saying. I had pain meds for #1 and am hoping to do without this time. I am not really scared about it...just concerned I guess.

More worried about my 2 year old being jealous and feeling hurt.

My sentiments exactly...most worried agout how DD will react, how I will cope with 2 babies, wonder if I will go completely insane since I won't have the hired help every person on the street seems to think I will need!
chiro_kristin's Avatar chiro_kristin 02:36 AM 06-24-2005
That I won't be able to let go of my educated mind enough to slip into complete trust of my body and my baby, in laborland, and just trust my innate intelligence!
chasmyn's Avatar chasmyn 03:10 AM 06-24-2005
Back labor.
LivVLW's Avatar LivVLW 11:53 AM 06-24-2005
I had just about everything go wrong while delivering my first...I think that ANYTHING is better than that. My biggest fear is something being wrong with the baby. I didn't get to hold my son until 3 days after he was born. I'm still trumatized by that, and my biggest "want" from this birth is just to have a healthy baby that I can hold (and nurse) right away.

Liv
AugustLia23's Avatar AugustLia23 12:00 PM 06-24-2005
I fear back labour too. DP had it with our son and it was so intense, so I really hope that this babe doesn't give me back labour pains. Other than that I don't really have any fears.
nancy926's Avatar nancy926 01:00 PM 06-24-2005
Oh, I can get geared up to fear just about anything! Lol. But once labor starts I don't think about all that stuff...no room in my head, I guess.
henhao's Avatar henhao 03:31 PM 06-24-2005
I did a hypnosis fear release with hypnobabies and dealt with a lot of my and hubby's fears. My fears *were* baby dying, hypnosis not working, transfer to hospital.

Right now, I have a slight concern about maintaining hypnosis in the car while hubby drives. But I plan to pack myself into the seat with pillows so I don't get knocked around.

I feel peaceful and calm about the upcoming birthing. Excited, too!

hh
Mama Coltrane's Avatar Mama Coltrane 04:29 PM 06-24-2005
Another vote for the back labor. I had that with DS and it was VERY painful. Everyone tells me how much easier the pain is to deal with when the baby is in the right position. I hope so. I still have images or feelings about the back pain, but I can't describe it to anyone. Intense.
loewymartin's Avatar loewymartin 05:57 PM 06-24-2005
Well, I had back labor with DD#1, so I would like to avoid that this time!

I guess my fears are that something will happen to the baby. Once those fears are eased (and she's here!) it's more how to cope with a toddler and an infant. Also, I'm worried about going into labor in the middle of the night and having someone come over to take care of DD. I went quickly last time, and we'll have to wait for someone to come over so we can leave for the birthing center. I'm a little nervous (a) DD will wake up and wonder why we left her (b) my labor will be so quick again that I'm delivering on the highway!

But after I get to the hospital, I think the rest will just fall by the wayside. I'm excited to have this baby since I had two m/c last year. I am mentally ready to not be pregnant!

Michelle
Kaitnbugsmom's Avatar Kaitnbugsmom 08:51 PM 06-24-2005
Since this is my second section, I'm worried more about hemmoraging due to the location of the placenta. Saw an episode of babies special delivery at twenty weeks where the woman had an anterior placenta and it hemmoraged during her c-section.. Scared me to death... the doctor on the voice over didn't help, talking about how with anterior placenta, they have only got so much time to get the placenta out and all or else... Other than that, the size of the scar {got off lucky with the first one, thanks to a ton of aloe and vitamin E.} and if I'll be able to nurse past sixteen weeks this time. Being at home will help, adn so will the fact that my pumps are going under lock and key to prevent any repeats...
Aeriane's Avatar Aeriane 12:59 AM 06-25-2005
Well, I'm quite anxious because baby has Down Syndrome and it's all new to me. I went into the pregnancy thinking I've lived through it all..etc. Was I wrong. So there's just so many unknowns.

I don't fear much else, been through it all enough times *shrugs* you don't feel stitches, lol the heat and such from delivering kicks in and back labor? yeah had it 4 times..it's killer but it give me a chance to be a total b-word and get away with it :P

ok...ummm...yes I also fear my 2 yr old adjusting as well, he's already upset now that the tummy is huge, he knows something's really there and mummy asks him to be careful soooo many times.

have a good one, Kitty
ChelseaG's Avatar ChelseaG 11:19 AM 06-25-2005
I have a lot of worries that I am trying to release, mostly stuff like my baby will be too big, I will tear, back labor, and something freakish that will force a hospital transfer and result in a series of interventions and c/s.
I am trying to make peace with all the various scenarios in my mind so I can let go of these fears and focus more on a positive experience.
JohnnysGirl's Avatar JohnnysGirl 01:02 PM 06-25-2005
Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbowmoon
my big fear is dying. I know it's slightly irrational but... I worry about it everyday but am doing well I think in working through it.
: Me too!

Also that something will go wrong and I'll have to have a C-Section. That would be awful....I was absolutely amazed by how quickly my body bounced back after DS popped out (also amazed by how fast my uterus popped him out for a first baby!!! 90 min from start to finish), and enjoyed so much how I felt post partum, energy-wise and everything, because I had had a natural birth, that I fear that if things go wrong this time, I'll have a dreadful healing time which will detract from my ability to enjoy my newborn and help my toddler deal with sharing me....
mags's Avatar mags 08:36 PM 06-25-2005
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaimep
Same thing you are saying. I had pain meds for #1 and am hoping to do without this time. I am not really scared about it...just concerned I guess.

More worried about my 2 year old being jealous and feeling hurt.
Jaime-

Your fears are exactly the same as mine, except my oldest baby will only be 19 mo old when baby #2 arrives.
~Jenna~'s Avatar ~Jenna~ 12:15 AM 06-27-2005
I'm worried about making it to the birth center on time, after pains, back labor. I'm worred about my dh not passing out again with this labor. I'm worred about how my 2yo will deal... I'm afraid I can't handle a baby and a toddler. But my biggest fear is a c/s. I don't know why that scares me the most but it does.
carrietorgc's Avatar carrietorgc 12:29 AM 06-27-2005
hmm, not much really. *hoping* that all goes well with natural this time, but had a very non complicated epidural birth (lol, feels like an oxymoron to say that) with dd. a bit worried about making it to the hospital in time...will be calling the doula right away for sure! there is nothing fun about a 30 min drive to the hospital when you are in pain.
ObsessiveAndrea's Avatar ObsessiveAndrea 03:45 PM 06-27-2005
My biggest fear is that my midwives aren't going to make it here in time. Not that it would be a bad thing but it is a lingering fear.
EStreetMama's Avatar EStreetMama 04:36 AM 06-28-2005
Aside from the ones mentioned, I am afraid that I won't be able to breathe (don't know where I got that one!) and that I will run out of stamina for upright positions. I really don't want to tear, but know that the midwife will do everything she can to prevent it.
shockels's Avatar shockels 08:40 PM 06-28-2005
Very afraid of a C-section......I've seen too many and DO NOT want some med student tugging my little one out of me.

Also afraid of dying from some bizarre complication. A mom died last quarter during delivery, and although I wasn't at the hospital when it happened, I heard about from other students and it really effected me. (In fact I just finished filling out my advanced directive today!)

Beyond those two big ones are little ones that flit in and out of my consciousness at times....things like tearing A LOT, baby having respiratory difficulties, and not being able to breastfeed.

Mostly I am able to release these fears, but sometimes they creep back in and I have to deal with them all over again!

Sandra
Iriemama96's Avatar Iriemama96 07:52 PM 06-29-2005
Uterine rupture is my number one...I am a VBAC
nabigus's Avatar nabigus 08:18 PM 06-29-2005
I have a brand new fear--the baby's turned breech according to my m/w, and I fear he won't turn back before the birth.

I also have irrational fears that in some horribly ironic twist, after doing so much research and being such a non-intervention advocate, things will spiral out of my control in a split second and I'll end up as one of those cautionary tales about "the need to be flexible" and have to have a gazillion interventions.
hjshan's Avatar hjshan 10:14 PM 06-29-2005
I am scared of another C/S and being stuck in bed for a few days without being able to lift my DS (2 yr old). I also worry about nursing two kids - especially at night - I usually lay on my side with DS free to nurse as he wants - will I be turning from side-to-side all night? Also, will my DS be ok during labor? We plan to have him in the room with DH taking care of him and a doula assisting me. And, finally, will I ever sleep again? It's been so many years... how many more?
hjshan's Avatar hjshan 10:25 PM 06-29-2005
Sandra,
I completely know how you feel with the medical fears and risks "creeping" in. I am a L&D nurse and worked at a big teaching hospital. I have seen many bad situations and unfortunate occurances (babes and moms). It was especially hard with my first pregnancy, but this time it seems easier - maybe I am just too tired to worry as much. Try to enjoy this time and the birthing process - you will be safe. All the worry does you no good - you have to go with the flow and keep all your options open. Also, write a BIRTH PLAN - no residents, students, observers, etc! If you are at a teaching hospital ask for the attending - also keep in mind the MD isn't usually called until you are complete and pushing - talk to your nurses they will be the ones assisting you in labor. Know your hospital policies before (NPO or clear liqs, epidural time, length of time without progress, criterial for C/S or other interventions). At this point, you have to trust yourself and your body - you will know what's best for you. Also, a C/S isn't the end of the world - healthy mom and baby are all that matter.
mom_in_training's Avatar mom_in_training 04:30 PM 06-30-2005
right now: pre-term labor

Later: labor

even later: over due......
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