this is awful. (warning--related to birth loss) - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 7 Old 07-13-2005, 05:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
nabigus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: in a state of generalized panic
Posts: 1,391
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Oh my god. I just heard from a couple we became friends with through our birthing classes, and they lost their baby this weekend, at 37 weeks. I don't know much else, just that she knew something was wrong and went to see her OB.

I can't imagine. I'm so devastated for them. can't stop crying. What do you say? I don't want to add to their pain by having me and my big pregnant belly around them.

I'm so incredibly grateful to be pregnant right now. And I feel callous saying that, given their loss.

Ugh.
nabigus is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 of 7 Old 07-13-2005, 05:07 PM
 
rainbowmoon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Vermont
Posts: 10,800
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
how awful.

Blissful Mama to DD-(5), DS-(6) and someone new due in November!
rainbowmoon is offline  
#3 of 7 Old 07-13-2005, 05:19 PM
 
Goldiemom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 2,048
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I am so sorry for that other couple. There is no reason to beat yourself up over being relieved that it isn't you though.

Goldie, Mom to 5 my kiddos and forever loving on my fantabulous dh John.
Goldiemom is offline  
#4 of 7 Old 07-13-2005, 06:24 PM
 
TanyaMT's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: San Diego, California
Posts: 136
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
How sad. I hear of this fairly often but only because I live in a large city and work for a charity that helps provide burial layettes. The actual incidence I believe is fairly low. Poor things! I simply can't imagine it though, the pain of going through it.
TanyaMT is offline  
#5 of 7 Old 07-13-2005, 08:02 PM
 
henhao's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: In my Imagination
Posts: 2,402
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Oh, I feel so bad for them. I know what you mean about not wanting to have your big ol' belly around them. Someone in my life is having trouble having kids, and I feel the same way. At the same time, you want to provide support if you can and if they want it. I think when things like this happen, a lot of us don't know what to do so we do nothing or say nothing -- and that can be hard on the grieving parents. I'm not an expert in this area by any means, but you could always reach out to them in some way and I'm sure they'll appreciate it and that you'll know in your heart if you should back off instead.
henhao is offline  
#6 of 7 Old 07-13-2005, 08:08 PM
 
PortraitPixie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Behind a camera....
Posts: 3,632
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Maybe give her a call or send them a card just to let them know that you are there and thinking about them. So--so sorry.
PortraitPixie is offline  
#7 of 7 Old 07-13-2005, 08:11 PM
 
boycrazy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,054
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
When friends of our lost a baby at almost 8 months along I really just tried to acknowledge that what they had was a real child and their loss is real. They had a burial service for their little girl. I encouraged her to take a few photos and spend time with baby after the birth. I also have asked when we had a moment to ourselves how she has been doing and again acknowledged how their winter (holidays) must have felt very strange and lonely after planning their activities with a baby in mind. She had had 3 healthy kids before that. I really have felt their loss again since I have been pregnant. So sad.
boycrazy is offline  
Reply

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off