this is awful. (warning--related to birth loss) - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 07-13-2005, 04:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh my god. I just heard from a couple we became friends with through our birthing classes, and they lost their baby this weekend, at 37 weeks. I don't know much else, just that she knew something was wrong and went to see her OB.

I can't imagine. I'm so devastated for them. can't stop crying. What do you say? I don't want to add to their pain by having me and my big pregnant belly around them.

I'm so incredibly grateful to be pregnant right now. And I feel callous saying that, given their loss.

Ugh.
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#2 of 7 Old 07-13-2005, 04:07 PM
 
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how awful.

Blissful Mama to DD-(5), DS-(6) and someone new due in November!
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#3 of 7 Old 07-13-2005, 04:19 PM
 
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I am so sorry for that other couple. There is no reason to beat yourself up over being relieved that it isn't you though.

Goldie, Mom to 5 my kiddos and forever loving on my fantabulous dh John.
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#4 of 7 Old 07-13-2005, 05:24 PM
 
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How sad. I hear of this fairly often but only because I live in a large city and work for a charity that helps provide burial layettes. The actual incidence I believe is fairly low. Poor things! I simply can't imagine it though, the pain of going through it.
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#5 of 7 Old 07-13-2005, 07:02 PM
 
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Oh, I feel so bad for them. I know what you mean about not wanting to have your big ol' belly around them. Someone in my life is having trouble having kids, and I feel the same way. At the same time, you want to provide support if you can and if they want it. I think when things like this happen, a lot of us don't know what to do so we do nothing or say nothing -- and that can be hard on the grieving parents. I'm not an expert in this area by any means, but you could always reach out to them in some way and I'm sure they'll appreciate it and that you'll know in your heart if you should back off instead.
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#6 of 7 Old 07-13-2005, 07:08 PM
 
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Maybe give her a call or send them a card just to let them know that you are there and thinking about them. So--so sorry.
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#7 of 7 Old 07-13-2005, 07:11 PM
 
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When friends of our lost a baby at almost 8 months along I really just tried to acknowledge that what they had was a real child and their loss is real. They had a burial service for their little girl. I encouraged her to take a few photos and spend time with baby after the birth. I also have asked when we had a moment to ourselves how she has been doing and again acknowledged how their winter (holidays) must have felt very strange and lonely after planning their activities with a baby in mind. She had had 3 healthy kids before that. I really have felt their loss again since I have been pregnant. So sad.
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