Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Near T.O., in Ontario, Canada
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I am sorry Amarasmom if I came across harshly, it was not intended that way. I guess my own pain from failing to deliver vaginally tends to seep through when I write about this. I am unsure about something you posted in your reply: you said that you are worried about having a risky vaginally birth (not exact words, sorry), but also that you have educated yourself this time, so then I must assume that you are aware that VBAC is the less risky of these birth options. Please correct me if I have misunderstood.
I completely understand your fear of the unknown, it is the greatest fear we as humans possess, but is vaginal birth really an unknown? In my opinion this is a matter of perspective. Women have been giving birth forever and I believe that the ability to birth is innate. It is a knowledge borne in our genetic design. It is a thing to trust in, just as a baby trusts in their ability to walk as they let go of mother's hand and take those first teetering steps.
I also believe though, that the right choice for you is just that, the choice that is right for you. If you do not feel safe enough to attempt a vaginal delivery, then perhaps your instincts are trying to warn you of something. Birth is instinctual by nature and sometimes our instincts tell us that we cannot do it the way it is meant to be done. Trust yourself no matter what decision you make, but don't make your decision out of fear, make it out of your trust in yourself.
Perhaps a trial of labour would be a comfortable option for you. You could have the satisfaction of attempting vaginal delivery, with the security of the "known" available if necessary.