For those of us expecting boys (or surprises) - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 42 Old 08-22-2005, 05:05 PM
 
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sweetred: If this one is a boy, he'll be circed when our two boys are not. I don't think "indecisive" would describe it - I'd say instead that we grew and learned as parents and decided to learn from our mistakes and not make the same mistake again! I have many friends who have two or more boys with one circed and the other(s) not.

I was speaking with a mama recently about the circ "issue" and dh's reactions to us not wanting our boys' circed when they don't see a problem with it and she said, "I said to my dh that if he insisted on having our son circed that I insisted on him (dh) having his left index finger cut off so he's look just like *his* dad (who lost his finger due to an accident in a factory). " Her dh said that was ridiculous and she said, "But you don't think it's ridiculous to have a part of our baby's body cut off just so he'll look like you!" He never argued the point again and their son is intact!

Zeldasmom - Thanks! I've come a long way since the abuse ended 11 years ago.

Mama to A (12), Z (11), H (9), C (5), A (3) and 4 angels. 

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#32 of 42 Old 08-23-2005, 01:15 PM
 
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ds is intact. as will this one if we are blessed with another another boy.

here's an interested side note in response to those talking about US hospitals making it the "norm"...

my niece lives in AZ, and she had a son last year. she had to pay out of pocket to have him circed (i tried to educate her but she is 17, knows everything, and shouldn't have been having a baby anywyay, but that's a different discussion) because her insurance didn't cover non-medically necessary procedures.

so maybe, just maybe, things are in starting change? let's cross our fingers!
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#33 of 42 Old 08-23-2005, 02:33 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by spsmom
my niece lives in AZ, and she had a son last year. she had to pay out of pocket to have him circed (i tried to educate her but she is 17, knows everything, and shouldn't have been having a baby anywyay, but that's a different discussion) because her insurance didn't cover non-medically necessary procedures.
I am in CA and everyone that I know that did circ had to pay for it out of pocket also. Insurance Co's do not consider it medically necessary and usually don't pay. I am sure that some will pay, but it seems like most don't, but it is one thing people don't seem to mind paying out of pocket for. I know someone who just had it done to her son and I think she said it was $600. You would think cost alone would discourage more people, but it doesn't seem to.
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#34 of 42 Old 08-23-2005, 03:51 PM
 
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I know someone who just had it done to her son and I think she said it was $600
I know if we were considering it, that would keep us from doing it if we were uneducated about circ! We certianly can't afford that much for THAT!

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#35 of 42 Old 08-24-2005, 12:54 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DoulaMommy
They had to use stiches on my ds, he was 8 months old when his was done. He had hypospadius, and it was repaird. I had consented to the circ if they were going to use the foreskin for the hypo. repair, but the doctor "couldn't find me" when he realized he didn't need anything skin to make the repair, and circ'd him anyway. Of course I did sign a consent form for a circ, I just wish it had been better understood that I would have prefered him come back out of the OR with his foreskin.
Thats why dh had his done. Of course back in the day they couldn't do repairs like they do now. It could have turned out much worse than it already was so he didn't get his repaired and its worked just fine thankfully. They weren't sure if he'd be able to get a woman pg but obviously not a problem (with #6 on the way lol).

My mom couldn't afford to get the last of her boys circed so I have 1 brother in 5 that is intact. I think money is a great incentive.

Michelle

Expecting #9.  Always busy hsing.
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#36 of 42 Old 08-24-2005, 05:11 PM
 
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ya, hypo sucks! The urologist thought it was bad enough that he wouldn't pee standing up, and may have a difficult time getting it all in the bowl while sitting down...and it turned out, that sitting down he would have been fine, but he wouldn't have been taught to pee standing until he was 6 or 7 due to the 'side stream' effect LOL I hate cleaning up pee off the floor. Ya, it sucks that happend to him, and ya I still feel bad about it but there is nothing I can do now except to say I wouldn't circ again if given the choice

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#37 of 42 Old 08-24-2005, 07:31 PM
 
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We're planning on leaving our baby intact. Don't know if its a boy or girl yet.
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#38 of 42 Old 08-25-2005, 07:11 PM
 
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this babe's a surprise and while i try to bring the discussion of circ up with dh, he thinks it's a non-issue and that we're circ'ing no matter what. he is, ds is, every male in our close families are.

here's what i need...

evidence that it's not a social issue anymore, percentages, etc - i try to tell him that circ/uncirc rates are close to 50/50 now, he doesn't buy it

help with how do we deal with one son circ'd and one not

with ds - i was ambivalent, i hadn't found mdc yet and didn't really do my research : he said it was important to him to circ, so i went along with it - ds ended up needing stitches and i felt awful afterward.

can anyone help? i suppose i should cross-post this in the circ forum as well...

thanks!
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#39 of 42 Old 08-25-2005, 07:46 PM
 
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imgr8ful - I would post in the circ forum and I am sure you will get tons of info. For me showing my dh a video of a circ is all that was needed to convince him. I borrowed it from my midwife, maybe you could try to get your hands on one. I don't know where to go for research as I never had to do any because the video worked great Also Galatea that started this thread has some links in her sig to circ info, I would look at those. Good luck with your hubby, it can be such a hard thing to come to an agreement on.
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#40 of 42 Old 08-25-2005, 08:39 PM
 
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thanks sarah - unfortunately a video won't change his mind, he was with ds when it was done...

off to post in the circ forum
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#41 of 42 Old 08-26-2005, 11:45 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I know you posted in the circ forum, but I wanted to add something here: You can just say no and dh can't do anything about it. When my dh refused to listen to my arguments, I told him quite seriously that I would divorce him before I let it happen, and I was deadly serious, and he knew it. That got him to back off and then slowly he started reading my info. I know this sounds harsh, but now that you know the truth about circumcision, if you allow yourself to give in, you will regret it and become bitter, and eventually come to hate your dh b/c of this. There is no way around that. Read the stories of people who circ'ed and regretted it. The pain never goes away.

DS1 2004 ~ DS2 2005 ~ DD1 2008 ~ DS3 2010 ~ DD2 due Dec. 2014
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#42 of 42 Old 08-26-2005, 12:25 PM
 
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I completely agree with Galatea!

My husband could not be reasoned with about this. He knew how passionately I felt, knew there was no medical reason to do it, knew that it would be a PITA for us to do it (because we aren't having a hospital birth and would have to arrange for it to be done) and STILL wanted it done. His reasoning? "Because he'll get made fun of" Yea. Roll those eyes here.

Last week I point blank told him that we weren't doing it. Period. End of story. And if he holds anger against me for the rest of our lives about that I don't care. I'd rather go through my life with my husband pissed off at me about it than carry around the knowledge that I mutilated my son!
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