Post partum doula... - Mothering Forums
September 2005 > Post partum doula...
Shell_Ell's Avatar Shell_Ell 07:33 PM 08-22-2005
Anyone hiring one?

I'm meeting with one on Wednesday- so long as I don't "pop" before then, lol.

I know how much she charges, how long she generally stays, what she does, etc. Is there anything else I should ask to feel out what kind of a person she is? I loved talking to her on the phone... I hated some of the other women I talked to. She seemed much less business-minded and more focused on just flying-by-the-seat, which is what I really, really need. Her rates are decent, and are lower if she can bring her kids with her (which I'm unsure about) and she really doesn't need much notice at all. She has a 2 hour minimum, which is fine by me.

Anyone else have ideas? Anyone else having one?

ZeldasMom's Avatar ZeldasMom 08:20 PM 08-22-2005
Yeah, hating your pp doula would kinda suck! :LOL

I have never hired one, but think it sounds wonderful! I think you are very smart to be thinking about this. With DS I did tons of prep for the birth and very little for getting through the newborn period and ending up thinking getting through those early days of life with a newborn was way harder than the birth.

The mistake I made when hiring the birth doula for my son's birth was putting too much weight on having a long resume/impressive credentials and not enough on chemistry.
cuqui's Avatar cuqui 09:44 PM 08-22-2005
Can you taste her cooking before hand? Ask her what types of meals she prepares. WIth #1 I had an excellent gourmet cook. I'm all about food so this was important to me. Check her references. About bringing her kids, well if you are comfy with that, just make sure no one is sick, you know flu, cold, pink eye, yada yada.

Good luck! What a treat!
Shell_Ell's Avatar Shell_Ell 10:02 PM 08-22-2005
Hmm that's a good point about her cooking! Although I'm not really going to have her preparing meals. Just for company and light cleaning and help with BFing.

I'm kinda screwed because my husband can really only take off like 3 days (he is our only source of income and doesn't get paid days off) and this sounds good to me. I don't really have any family or friends that can come do it. So as much as I DON'T want to hire someone, I think it's essential and I'm fooling myself to think I can do it without someone.

I agree with the notion that many plan for the birth and not for post partum. Myself included. It's only been the last few weeks that I've been like "Oh crap, we have to think about that!" LOL! But in all reality, I'm scared to death about being alone with my baby for the 10 hours a day my husband is at work/en route to work. And not having support is NEVER a good idea, post partum or not.

I rambled. But I'm glad I got validation this was a good idea and not a waste of money. You'd be suprised how many think that!
Music-mommy's Avatar Music-mommy 10:04 PM 08-22-2005
I would hire one in a minute if my mom wasn't around. I don't know about having her bring her kids. After giving birth personally I don't know that I'd want kids running around my house. Maybe you could ask her if you could meet her kids and also ask her (if her kids are nice) whether you could have just her for the first 2 days and then after that have her bring her kids.

If it's not that much cheaper to have her bring her kids, I would guess that it would be much better to not have them there. She will be more distracted and less attentive, and you have to deal with all those people in your house.
Momtwice's Avatar Momtwice 10:04 PM 08-22-2005
It is NOT foolish or a waste of money; it is heavenly.
hollyhobbie's Avatar hollyhobbie 11:01 PM 08-22-2005
yeah i wish i had done it the first time. this time i have more support b/c i am a mom already and my sister is here now BUT first time round, i knew no-one b/c i went from being a full time working person to a full time stay at home mom. it is a big adjustment. i mean when i went to playgroups and stuff i met more moms and that was a life saver but in the beginning i just stayed home and was overwhelmed and exhausted. dh went back to work and i felt so isolated. everytime i closed my eyes i cried. i dont think it was post partum depression but just a big transition, ya know.

all the moms in my wednesday get together are having #2 and a week later they are back hanging out!! i am amazed. with #1 i didnt leave the house for several weeks and then only to go to a MW appointment which was very - you can cancel at a seconds notice. then i stayed home after that for quite a chunk.

sorry to ramble but i am just trying to share my experience and say go for it. may be my only sorta regret of my first birth so maybe someone else can avoid it!!!
cuqui's Avatar cuqui 12:28 AM 08-23-2005
It is not a waste of money! I had NO ONE around me! No one, I knew no one with kids, I had no support, my mom lives in Florida and has to look after my dad who was getting dialysis every other day, so travel was not an option for him (he got a transplant when dd was 11 mos old). My MIL lives in Ireland and is no spring chicken. My sister lives 2.5 hr away and had to work f/t was going thru a divorce and had no children=no clue (lol).

You need someone around to help with breastfeeding when it's your first. I had DH here but he knew nothing about breastfeeding.

If you can go to a LLL meeting in those early weeks and BEFORE baby is born, it is invaluble! 'Seeing' mamas nursing their babies is very very helpful!

Good luck!
Shell_Ell's Avatar Shell_Ell 02:30 AM 08-24-2005
I'm meeting tomorrow with the one I liked best. Let's hope it's a good fit!