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#1 of 18 Old 09-15-2005, 04:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So how is it going with all the new babies? How is the rest of the family adjusting? How are you feeling postpartum? :

This is all I do, right here:

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Midwife (CPM, LDM) and homeschooling mama to:
13yo ds   10yo dd  8yo ds and 6yo ds and 1yo ds  
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#2 of 18 Old 09-15-2005, 05:15 PM
 
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Dh went back to work today...so a 4 day old and almost 4 year old....not a great day! Ds isn't listening, right now banging something on his door..still. OH how &&&&ING obnoxious can he be today!?

Ok, vent over. He's been ok, until after "nap time" where while feeding Kate he decided to come out and refuse flatly to go back in there. I just don't have the energy to keep laying him in bed, and all that &h*t today. I hate that dh had to go back to work, but he was out all last week with his back being hurt.

Anyway...baby's doing great. She is a little mixed up with sleep times, and sleeps less at night than I would like. Last night she was up from about midnight to 3 am, then slept until about 5:10 and went back to sleep at about 6-7:45. She slept until 8:10, but ds wouldnt leave me alone or kept touching her. (I was sleeping in the living room) and I was starting to get annoyed with him and paranoid that he'd wake her up before she was ready to eat.

She brought my milk in at about 60 hrs...probably sooner than that, but that's when I noticed it. When the midwife came back at 3 days, she had lost 2 oz, and didn't look jaundiced at all. So that's great! I am enjoying her awake periods very much, all the looking around and cute little faces she makes! I think ds started doing it at about a week old, all the crap I had pumped into me in labor made him such a sleepy baby for a while.

If I could just get 5 hrs of sleep between 11pm and 7am I'll be a happy camper. I would love it to be 5 hrs straight, but I can do a 1 hr gap in there and still be ok. I think last night I got 4 total.

I'm also feeling 'mommy guilt' about Jack. He's so BIG, but still needs me so much. I just wish he'd listen better, then I wouldn't be yelling at him so much. I absolutly HATE that I'm yelling at him at least once an hour....usually more like 4 times an hour. For simple things like when I ask him to NOT TOUCH the swing or the bouncy seat..and he does it anyway. I sit there saying "Jack" about 10 times ina row, or "don't touch" a few times in a row then I raise my voice and sometimes even that doesn't get his attention. I know he's adjusting too, but he's been acting like this all summer...only now he's beginning to figure out that I can't just jump up.Although I did once while Kate was nursing and he got the point that time. PBS and Disney movies only last so long...I'd like for him to expend some energy by playing in his room with his toys...he just doesn't always want too.

Well, I think Kate is making me a diaper, but either way, she'll be wanting to nurse soon...maybe, it's been an hour and she didn't nurse long last time.

Oh ya, how do I feel PP...not bad, just TIRED, I knew I was going to be tired, but geeze. Oh and hungry, but I didn't have a lot of 'quick grab' stuff here, and it's difficult as you all know to get up and make something between diapers and nursing sessions. And if my nipples keep hurting like this I'm gonna just cry and flood my house.

~Autumn~   Mama to whistling.gif (2001) and hearts.gif(2005) partners.gif madly in love since '99 
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#3 of 18 Old 09-15-2005, 07:27 PM
 
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Amanda~ I'm sorry your having kind of a rough time! I remember that phase from ds last year, I can't imagine that with a newborn. Something I did that worked pretty well was started giving him scheduled play alone times. We talked about it a lot so he knew he wasn't in trouble, but that he was learning to play by himself. We also started giving him specific chores to help him feel like he was really helping out. (not sure if you do this already but it helped us) He would do little things like put clean silverware away, he was in charge of cleaning up the dog toys and shoes once a day, it really helped him focus better and he started listening more.

It's good to hear how you mams with your newborns are doing! I think it helps those of us who are becoming inpatient, well hope for whats to come and to cherish the quiet time we have left!
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#4 of 18 Old 09-15-2005, 08:26 PM
 
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Amanda- My heart totally goes out to you. I have an almost six year old but he was three when my second was born. I can totally relate but her are a few tips that may help. keep action figures or crayons and paper near you so that when you are nursing you can spend some time with him playing or coloring. My son hates to color but I could always make him laugh with my action hero voices. Another cool thing I did was I made sure that for at least 30 min a day my oldest son had a chance to hold his brother as long as he sat on the couch even if baby was sleeping my son would chat with him and tell him all kinds of secrets. I know how hard the first few days are but take heart you will find the perfect groove in no time. Just a bit of encouragment.

I'm getting pretty nervous about this new one comming since my youngest is still quite the mamas boy . : for more nap time.
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#5 of 18 Old 09-15-2005, 09:02 PM
 
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Wow. Annie is almost 2 weeks old already. Benjamin (3) is throwing some pretty good fits lately, and I'm crying way too much. I feel so awful about Benjamin—before Annie was born, I could fix ANYTHING. I'm so happy to have her, but I keep thinking about the "simple" days before she was born. I feel like such an awful mother. I just want to make things easy on Benjamin. Make him feel okay about everything. But it's hard when I don't. Ugh...better stop typing before I bring the whole board down. Sorry.
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#6 of 18 Old 09-15-2005, 09:50 PM
 
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I can totally relate to most of Amandas post. Except I have 2 kids that don't listen, throw fits and generally make life... well, hell. I also have some of the intense nipple pain. The other day I had to have dh feed her some EBM because mine hurt so bad. I find that lanolin applied VERY liberally after every feeding along with airing out for a bit after applied, then using some cool compresses on the outside of my bra seems to work wonders.

As for life in general I think we are all slowly adjusting to being a family of 5. Allissa is of course just perfect since she has never known anything different. :LOL

Goldie, Mom to 5 my kiddos and forever loving on my fantabulous dh John.
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#7 of 18 Old 09-15-2005, 11:01 PM
 
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to everyone who is struggling!

My issues:

-WICKED afterpains. I am currently at day 2 post partum and am taking cal mag and ibuprofen around the clock and don't go far without a microwaved flaxseed beanbag or a heating pad. Despite this I am still having to breath through the pains like I did during labor. How long will this last???? Not much longer I hope!

-figuring out the tandem nursing thing. My milk just came in and my 23mo DS wants to nurse all the time, which makes my afterpains hurt more. Plus I want to make sure DD isn't getting short-changed.

-figuring out how to sleep 4 in our queen sized bed. DS is spending more time in our bed and he sprawls out. Last night he put his arm around 2 day old DD in his sleep--very cute! I wasn't comfortable with this though, so I moved her and I down to the bottom of the bed and we spent most of the night there. Trying to figure out what to do to make our sleep situation more manageable. We have The No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers by Elizabeth Pantley. Will have to see if she has some ideas. Have thought about getting another matress to put on the floor. Would it if we could get DS over night nursing and sleeping through the night.

Hang in there everybody!!! I'm thinking it has to get better!
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#8 of 18 Old 09-15-2005, 11:44 PM
 
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Physically I am doing great. Miles is 2 weeks old today and other than being tired I feel fabulous.

Emotionally I am on the edge. I cry for my 2 year old on a daily basis. He isn't behaving badly and he likes his new brother but I see so much hurt in his eyes. He isn't sleeping well. I know he is stressed and I can't help him feel better. I can't even get him a snack or a drink or a diaper change when he needs it. I hate that I am asking him to wait all the time. I am also madly in love with this new little guy. I wasn't at first and I was consumed with guilt about it. I felt like he was an intruder in our happy family and I pitied him. : It is a huge relief to realize that I adore him.

I see light at the end of the tunnel. I am beginning to feel like life has always been this way. I am sure that it won't be long before this all feels so normal that I won't keep comparing it to life before the babe. At least I hope so.
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#9 of 18 Old 09-15-2005, 11:50 PM
 
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Hugs to you, Amanda. I've got dh at home through next week, otherwise I'd be in the same boat with my 2yo. I'm dreading the day dh goes back to work. He's been so good with bonding with ds1, and taking him out to run off all that extra energy.

Goldie, I recommended the avent breast shells for nipple pain in the weekly thread. They keep fabric off your nipples and let them be air-exposed for better healing. I didn't have cracked nipples with DS1, but they cracked this time around, and the shells really helped with making the latch-on and nursing pain a lot more bearable.

DS2 is mostly a dreamboat of a baby so far. He's a bit day/night mixed up. He spends most of his day sleeping or nursing (slept until his 8:30 nurse, then went back to sleep until I woke him for his 11:30 nurse, then 2:30, then 5:30). He was up from 5:30 pm until about 7 for a wonderful quiet-alert time, looking around and being just pleasant, but now he's back asleep. I'll probably try to wake him up around 10-11 or so, just to see if he'll then do a long night's sleep tonight. (Last night he was up from 3:30-4:30 am, screaming and fussing.)

I'm also worried about how I'm going to juggle DS1's needs as well as DS2 in another week when dh goes back to work. DS1 seems so big to me now. He's trying to help me out with little things, and yet at other times he's got so much energy that I can't possibly keep up with him and still heal from my c-section. And he really is only 2 years old. I'm trying to keep that in mind as he climbs onto the coffee table and jumps off it -- he did this last night and then was limping afterwards, scared the heck out of both of us.

The public health nurse was by today to weigh DS2 -- he's started putting on weight again. She had a bunch of questions for me about BF'ing and when I started giving HER more information than she knew, she figured I was on top of that part of the game.

DS2 is a calmer baby and a better sleeper (so far!) than DS1. I looked over my record book for DS1 and at this time, we had a bunch of questions about his skin -- he had eczema. I know now that's an early sign of a dairy allergy, but I'm pretty sure that my staying on dairy for so long probably led to his DS1's bad sleep habits now. I'm so glad that I went off dairy a few weeks ago, just in case DS2 is also allergic.
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#10 of 18 Old 09-16-2005, 08:27 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ZeldasMom
to everyone who is struggling!

My issues:

-WICKED afterpains. I am currently at day 2 post partum and am taking cal mag and ibuprofen around the clock and don't go far without a microwaved flaxseed beanbag or a heating pad. Despite this I am still having to breath through the pains like I did during labor. How long will this last???? Not much longer I hope!

-figuring out the tandem nursing thing. My milk just came in and my 23mo DS wants to nurse all the time, which makes my afterpains hurt more. Plus I want to make sure DD isn't getting short-changed.

-figuring out how to sleep 4 in our queen sized bed. DS is spending more time in our bed and he sprawls out. Last night he put his arm around 2 day old DD in his sleep--very cute! I wasn't comfortable with this though, so I moved her and I down to the bottom of the bed and we spent most of the night there. Trying to figure out what to do to make our sleep situation more manageable. We have The No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers by Elizabeth Pantley. Will have to see if she has some ideas. Have thought about getting another matress to put on the floor. Would it if we could get DS over night nursing and sleeping through the night.

Hang in there everybody!!! I'm thinking it has to get better!
This is what we plan to do with our almost 5 year old who still sleeps in our queen bed. We will either just put a twin mattress on the floor, or get her one of those camping cots and put it next to daddy's side of the bed. She doesn't want to miss anything concerning the baby (I guess we will see how that goes when he is actually born- lol) She could sleep in her own bed in the room with her other brother, but she says "I'll miss you and Daddy too much" to sleep there. lol
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#11 of 18 Old 09-16-2005, 11:54 AM
 
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You know 2 weeks pp is *the* time for sadness and the "what have we done I ruined my older child's life" feelings. So to everyone who is having them, don't worry, it will get better. Just remind me of that in a week, okay?

Miles is getting much better at nursing. Like Maddox, he totally destroyed my right nipple, so I am not using it as much. With Maddox, b/c of this, my right boob never got as big, but since it started out larger than my left boob, they ended up even. So I am fine with that happening this time. Seems like they always have a favorite and it is easier if the non-dominant-hand boob is the favorite. But the pain is toe-curling.

Miles slept from 1-6 a.m. last night in bed with the whole family. It was a great surprise. Then dh and I got up and hung out with him while he cluster-fed. Then we got 2 more hours of sleep. So not so bad!

I miss Maddox. When Miles is calm and will stay with dh, I make a big effort to play with him. He is upset, though, and is acting a little weird - wanting to play with everything we touch, which is a ploy for more attention, I guess. He needs to learn to speak soon b/c it is hard to meet his needs when I am guessing what they are.

DS1 2004 ~ DS2 2005 ~ DD1 2008 ~ DS3 2010 ~ DD2 due Dec. 2014
On hospital bedrest for pPROM since 23 weeks
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#12 of 18 Old 09-16-2005, 03:08 PM
 
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Today I will attempt to walk down the stairs. I am scared my SPD will be so bad I won't be able to go back up them. The kids are soooo in love with Ian. I can't keep them off of him. My ppd is really good right now. I have actually slept! Yeah for placenta! Scared to get optimistic but i am enjoying the way I feel right now. Ian wants to be held all day, wondering how i will cope once dh is back full time working. Midwife is coming to dayt for pp check, gotta find time to shower!

Michelle

Expecting #9.  Always busy hsing.
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#13 of 18 Old 09-16-2005, 04:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My tip of the day:

Shower every day! I've made it a rule this time when a 2 week pp friend (while I was pregnant) said she felt so much better showering and getting dressed every day. And she's right, it makes me feel much less crappy. Yesterday morning, I employed the services of PBS for 20 minutes so I could shower and get dressed without the two older kids messing with the baby. Normally, my kids never watch tv, so it kept them occupied.

ZeldasMom,

This is my third baby and the afterpains were the worst this time. I hate to say it. but they lasted almost a week (5-6 days).

Midwife (CPM, LDM) and homeschooling mama to:
13yo ds   10yo dd  8yo ds and 6yo ds and 1yo ds  
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#14 of 18 Old 09-16-2005, 04:50 PM
 
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This is my 3rd as well and the afterpains were the worst so far. It was excruciating the first 2-3 days and got better and better. I still feel a liitle crampy when my 2yo nuses, but it's not bad anymore. oht
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#15 of 18 Old 09-16-2005, 05:34 PM
 
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to all you mamas having such a hard time

We are doing surprisingly well around here. Having 2 babies is not as hard as I thought it would be. If I had not hemoraged and if my hemoglobin was not down to 6.5 I think I would be feeling pretty good. I do not feel like I gave birth to twins down there, of course they were much smaller than ds was. Other than a little cracked nipple and painful latch on (I think mostly because I had to nurse them lying down the first couple of days which is hard with newborns) nursing is going good. I have only nursed them together once and it has been hard to make one wait while the other is nursing, but they still need help latching on and I just can't help 2 of them at the same time. Nights have been great, they wake up twice at the same time and it takes about 1 hour to get them changed, fed and back to sleep. My mom has been spending the night to help me since dh has to be with ds because he still wakes up a few times so that has been great. I am thinking I might try tonight alone, we will see. Jackson is doing really good also, he hass been playing outside a lot with dh and other than being really rough with the babies he has been great with them and kisses them all day. Gotta go, Byron woke up.
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#16 of 18 Old 09-16-2005, 09:50 PM
 
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I can relate to much of this thread.. Dh went back to work Tuesday this week so DS was just a week old I am pretty lucky however that my MIL is babysitting my 21 month old and my 3 year old during the daytime while DH is at work.

My 21 month old is intensley jealous and despises her new brother its all very sad..my 3 year old adores him and tries his best to guard him :LOL

So at home during the day I just have my 4.5 year old and my 6 year old and my 12 year old . ( who is a fabulous helper) we homeschool so thats how this is all possible... :LOL

My energy sucks.. I lost way to much blood at this birth and am really feeling the effects from it.. I tire easy and my heart races when I do things like climb stairs.. my pelvis bones are still pretty messed up so I am just taking it super easy and have been avoiding stairs. My baby however seems to be a little doll. I almost hate to say he just sleeps and eats? hope thats normal! gosh knows I have never hit that jackpot before.. I am WELL versed in the high needs and colic department so I find myself wondering whats *wrong* with him some days

I think its just going to take some time for my body to get back to normal it was a hard pregnancy and I find myself feeling guilty and weepy this past week... I feel bad for my toddler, bad for myself.. and gosh I dunno!

I am hoping its just blues and not actual PPD creeping in.. I have had that a few times but not in years and I really DONT want to go there.

As for the afterpains they were horrible the first week then tapered off to nothing.. and then now today I have started having cramps with a bit more frequent bleeding.. not sure whats up with that but I am watching it...

Anyhow thats it for us!
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#17 of 18 Old 09-16-2005, 10:05 PM
 
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One handed post.

Its been a little hard but still so great. Milk came in yesterday (2 day post partum!) and the engorgment has been horrific. One of my midwives has been here the past two days to check in on us. That has been wonderful! My husband is also a big help. he was really come through- hes awesome. My bottom is still quite tender and I'm deathly afraid to poop. Afterpains are kicking my ass too.

but life is so wonderful. I can't believe how happy and complete this child makes me feel.
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#18 of 18 Old 09-16-2005, 11:16 PM
 
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Now that dh is here playing w/ a very awake Liam, I can finally actually post! I'm actually doing really well. My 6yo ds is wonderful. He was wonderful 2 years ago when #2 was born (today is Jake's 2nd birthday!) The first 2-3 days were very hard w/ Jacob b/c he wanted to nurse all the time! And he would get VERY upset when I told him he had to wait. He's already gotten very good already about waiting until the baby is done if I'm not in a place where he can just latch on himself while I continue nursing Liam. The only thing that is hard for me is getting up at 7AM every day to get ds1 ready for school. Actually, dh does it most days, but I end up getting up b/c ds2 gets up w/ the alarm and dh can't take him everywhere every day. We only have 1 car and ds has to be driven to school b/c it's a charter school. Dh was home until Wednesday to pick ds up from school in the afternoon, but on Wednesday I had to go. It wasn't too bad, but it really tired me out! But that night, one of the new moms called and offered to bring him home every day for the next few weeks. It's been a GREAT help! And Thursday morning another mom took him to school since dh had to teach a class at 7:30AM.

I'm starting to get so that I feel a little guity about ds2, though. I feel so bad making him wait all the time. I did NOT want to have another baby so soon. I actually liked having 4 years between the first 2. Damien is wonderful w/ his little brtoehrs adn I don't feel like I cheated him out of any time. I love this new baby so much, but I feel so bad for Jake! He's still a baby himself!

Anyway, Liam is nursing better now, especially after his chiropractor session this afernoon. The afterpains seem to be comletely gone now, and I'm barely spotting (I bled like full period for over a month w/ my first 2!) And my nipples were sore for a few days, but that seems to be going away as well.
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