so the age old debate... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 24 Old 02-11-2005, 06:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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are you going to find out whether or not you are having a girl or boy?
we've decided we are. we're too excited.

mama to 8 year old haye  and 3 year old zao

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#2 of 24 Old 02-11-2005, 07:04 PM
 
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We didn't find out with Little P and I doubt we'll try to find out for this one. If my son were older we might, but I don't think that knowing the sex would make it any more concrete for him.

I think it helped the first time not to know to keep us (and especially our families and friends) from getting too focused on gender in our preparations and purchases. On the other hand, I had some girl vibes and was a bit surprised when I had a boy. I'm going to tell my vibes to either be accurate or keep it to themselves this time around.

There's no right or wrong choice! I'm looking forward to the time when the October mamas who find out start sharing their news.
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#3 of 24 Old 02-11-2005, 08:25 PM
 
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I don't know yet We found out with my 1st two, but since this is our last, part of me wants to be surprised! We shall see!
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#4 of 24 Old 02-11-2005, 09:37 PM
 
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I'm torn on this issue this time around.

We found out with our first two but not our third. I really kind of liked not knowing. Made labor more fun b/c there was another element of surprise to look forward to.

I think my dh would like to know. I do only because if it is a boy, I need boy stuff. :LOL I have NO boy clothes, blankets, diapers, etc.

If we do find out, I do NOT want to tell dh's family. They are so obsessed w/ having another boy in the family. His parents have one grandson and six granddaughters. We told his mom last night and instead of all the Congrats and hugs....she talked about how neat it would be if this were a boy since the oldest grandchild is a boy.
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#5 of 24 Old 02-11-2005, 09:41 PM
 
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Heather~ DH's grandmother is like that too. So annoying! Boys walk on water to her, and girls take a backseat. I don't get it
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#6 of 24 Old 02-11-2005, 10:27 PM
 
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nope...don't think so...I found out with my second and then said never again...I like the fun of the mystery...of course she had tons of pink stuff but still...

If for some reason we decided to find out we wouldn't tell anyone else
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#7 of 24 Old 02-11-2005, 10:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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my mom is doing that too, except with a girl. actually, my mom, sister, and nana are all CONVINCED it's a girl, and in all of our conversations they always talk about her. it's kind of annoying...but whatever. my mom is kind of funny though, she's like "it WILL BE A GIRL and i WILL CALL HER grandma's little peanut."

i was like um..okay mom.

mama to 8 year old haye  and 3 year old zao

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#8 of 24 Old 02-12-2005, 03:12 AM
 
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I didnt find out/have any ultrasouns with my first two. I did with my third and after I said I wouldn't with my fourth either, but now that I am pregnant I'm already trying to decide when to schedule an ultrsound to find out. (I'll be 19 weeks pregnant at the time of my sisters wedding. I'll probably have to wait a couple of weeks and let her have her moment without a babies sex overshadowing it - especially if its a girl). We DID read & attempt the Shettles method for a girl. But we will be happy with a boy as well. I actually have a boys name choosen already that goes with my pattern *G*

aisling
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#9 of 24 Old 02-12-2005, 08:51 PM
 
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I didn't have an ultrasound with my first and so didn't find out until he was born. That was fun to be surprised. I guess it depends on whether or not I have an ultrasound with this next one. I would feel funny having the ultrasound technician know and not me!
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#10 of 24 Old 02-13-2005, 12:11 AM
 
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P-chan so how old do you think dc should be for it to make it easier?


I didn't find out with my first and I kinda don't want to. I'm having serious girl vibes and it might help me to discuss said baby. I'm afraid I'll say "she she she" and then when "he" is born Erin will be confused, KWIM? But then again I might end up with a scheduled csection and knowing the sex and the bday ahead of time would be too much.

Kristin -- mom of Erin (11/5/02) and Leah (9/29/05)
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#11 of 24 Old 02-13-2005, 01:52 AM
 
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I don't know about what age makes it worthwhile--and what makes it doubly hard is that my son's understanding will mature by October in ways that I can't fully predict right now, so by then maybe it *would* be helpful for him to know if it would be a little sister or brother.

My sister's second was born when her first was almost 4 (and they knew it would be a girl). So he was using masculine/feminine pronouns and was working on his understanding of gender. Plus they could teach him the basics of where babies come from, because he knew what questions to ask. In the 2- to 2.5-year age range--I don't know. It probably depends on the child.
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#12 of 24 Old 02-13-2005, 04:04 AM
 
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Not going to find out. Adam wants to this time, but I really liked the surprise with our first.
It drove everyone else NUTS though, becuase they wanted to buy gender specific stuff.

heartbeat.gif heartbeat.gif heartbeat.gif

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#13 of 24 Old 02-13-2005, 02:35 PM
 
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Didn't with the first, won't with this one either . I really like having that surprise at the end. My mom is doing the girl thing, she has 4 grandsons, and I know she's just dying to buy a dress Doesn't really bother me...I know she doesn't really care either way.
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#14 of 24 Old 02-13-2005, 05:11 PM
 
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We won't find out with this one. I did with my oldest and with my younfgest, on accident with my youngest. It was so much better not to know. I doubt I will even have an ultrasound with this one.
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#15 of 24 Old 02-13-2005, 07:39 PM
 
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We don't do ultrasounds unless there is a serious medical reason to do so, so obviously we don't find out the sex. We also don't have the midwife tell us the sex after birth. We wait until we our ready to peek and find out for ourselves, although ds was pretty obvious. I think the surprise is fun and we have mostly gender neutral clothes so it isn't an issue.
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#16 of 24 Old 02-13-2005, 07:40 PM
 
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yes, i want to know the gender. i feel like it helped me feel more connected to my dd once i found out she was a girl and i could attach a name to her. i felt like i was preparing for the arrival of a specific person. i cannot stand not knowing even now. i figure theres enough surprise in wondering when ill go into labor, wondering what the babys birthday will be, wondering what the baby will look like, its not going to ruin the experience for me to know ahead of time if its a boy or a girl. for me it will make it better.
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#17 of 24 Old 02-14-2005, 11:47 AM
 
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We probably will, if our practice does an u/s then (it's natural-birth minded midwives). If they don't, I'm okay with it, but dh said he would be disappointed if he didn't know! But he wants a boy this time, so whatever. My dd (who is only two) said the other day, "Mommy's having a girl baby!" we hadn't really talked about it with her so I was shocked but maybe she knows.
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#18 of 24 Old 02-14-2005, 07:20 PM
 
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nope we won't

drives everyone CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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#19 of 24 Old 02-14-2005, 07:49 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovnbnhome
nope we won't

drives everyone CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That part's kinda fun too :LOL
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#20 of 24 Old 02-15-2005, 02:47 PM
 
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Yes, of course. I can't wait to find out what I am having.
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#21 of 24 Old 02-16-2005, 03:15 PM
 
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Add us to the list of people not doing routine ultrasounds. I suppose if we HAVE to have an ultrasound we might find out. I'll know more about the chances of that once we pick a midwife.

Jess
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#22 of 24 Old 02-16-2005, 06:40 PM
 
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We're not finding out. We have one of each, so we're good for supplies either way.

We are six: Me : Dh : Ds1('00) Dd('02) Ds2('05) Ds3('08) and, wow! Soon to be seven, Dd2 due 4/23.
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#23 of 24 Old 02-16-2005, 07:30 PM
 
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Put me down as a "not going to do it" mama. I didn't want to know for my first child, and since my DH, who wanted to know, can't keep his mouth shut, he didn't get to find out. In the end, he was really glad for the surprise.

This time, I'm leaning towards no ultrasound unless medically necessary, and definitely do not want to know (though I already suspect another DS!)
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#24 of 24 Old 02-22-2005, 01:26 AM
 
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not sure yet. i found out with the other two - part of me wants to be suprised at the birth, as this is likely the last for us. OTOH, i already REALLY REALLY want to know, and dh is against waiting (and there's no way he could keep a secret from me!) - so, we'll probably find out.
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