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#1 of 8 Old 02-16-2005, 06:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thought this deserved a thread of it's own

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If you really want a HB or birthcenter, and if he's willing to read some information about them, give it a try. I also echo onlyboys suggestion to actually meet with a MW or two. She's probally used to situations such as yours, where the mother is very interested but has a reluctant partner
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For those of you who have reluctant husbands, I'd encourage you to make an appointment and actually meet with a homebirth midwife. She may be able to make your partner much more comfortable with the idea of a homebirth!
Do either of you have any statistic links? He is a facts/numbers person. I had a ton of links, but lost them when my comp crashed. I have 3 RL friends who all had sucessful homebirths, one just last month. He still doesn't have faith in it. We live less than 5 minutes from the hospital, seriously, it's right up the street, and that still isn't comforting to him. Part of me wants to just say "I'm the one giving birth, it's my way or no way" but that wont make me happy either.

I want him to be on board with this. I need him to be. This is my last baby, my last opportunity to give birth the way I want... Why should I have to sacrafice my wants and comfort while in labor because of his unresearched fears?

Ideas? Thoughts?
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#2 of 8 Old 02-16-2005, 07:14 PM
 
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What kind of stats are you looking for?

If you gave him a book, would he read it? The Gentle Birth would be a good place to start and does include a variety of birth studies.

Midwife assisted HB typically are much shorter labors, in the realm of 6-7 hours. Hospital births, on average, are closer to 10-12 (I believe). That time has *everything* to do with the woman's confort level in her environment. Good candidates for HBs are women with uncomplicated pregnancies. Some MWs also do VBACs as HB, though that varies quite abit.

In Sweden (I believe it's Sweden), most births (something like 85% I believe) are midwife attended HBs. The C-section rate is the lowest in the world. In the US, in comparison, where most births are still OB "attended" hospitals births, the C-section rate is now 25% and one of the *worst* in the world.

My husband's biggest concern with having a HB rather than a BC birth was "who cleans the tub after the birth?" We did have some minor complications at our birth, but to tell you the truth, I had complete trust in my MWs. I know if things had been serious, they would have transported me into OB hospital care. I don't know that I had that same trust in my OB (I know I didn't!)

I really do recommend The Gentle Birth as a starting place for both of you. There's a couple of articles here as well: http://www.gentlebirth.org/ (no association with the book's author).
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#3 of 8 Old 02-16-2005, 07:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks I will get that book asap. I remember seeing once, a chart with all the statistics for both homebirth and hospital, infant mortality, c-sec, any type of interventions etc... I'll keep looking for it
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#4 of 8 Old 02-16-2005, 07:45 PM
 
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The site I listed above includes a couple of brochures that would be worth sharing with him as well (just checked it out myself). They're formatted terribly, unfortunately. But check out "Is Homebirth for You? 6 Myths About Childbirth Exposed" and "Homebirth Safety and Benefits" (which is a collection of essays and research from a variety of medical professionals, which your DH with his hard facts need will find useful).
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#5 of 8 Old 02-17-2005, 03:26 PM
 
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Look up Henci Goer's books! They review zillions of studies.
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#6 of 8 Old 02-17-2005, 08:18 PM
 
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I second Henci Goer's books, particularly The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth. It should be required reading for all women who want to have babies.

Also, Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, and its predecessor, Spiritual Midwifery are excellent books. In the back are the stats for all the births at the farm. Here's the website. http://www.thefarm.org/

Their statistics absolutely blow my mind. They have been birthing at the farm, essentially home births, but now they have a birthing center, for decades with TERRIFIC results. They even do "risky" births like breeches with great stats.

Definitely check it out.

Good luck talking to your husband. I'm sure he's reasonable.
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#7 of 8 Old 02-17-2005, 08:23 PM
 
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Here's a hard number study for him: http://www.thefarm.org/charities/mid.html
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#8 of 8 Old 02-18-2005, 04:48 PM
 
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This is a great article, written by an MD

http://www.midwiferytoday.com/articl...ogyinbirth.asp

Also, I second the suggestion to have an uncomfortable DH meet with the MW. My DH was supportive of ME (not neccessarily of homebirth), but once he met our MW, he was completely swayed.

The farm stats are absolutly mind-blowing, arent they? Makes you wonder how anyone could question the safety of homebirth.
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