delivering too early to have a homebirth (baby is at 0 station now, has been for weeks, and I have a history of walking around pretty darn dilated before I go into labor). This was not a fear of mine until I recently watched a video called "What Babies Want", which really just reinforced my views on gentle birth and bonding. Since I am so aware of those things, I think it would be even more difficult to have a NICU baby, knowing that I couldnt just turn the lights down, hold baby skin to skin, etc, that I would be at the mercy of technology to keep my baby healthy and get baby strong.
needing to transport for an emergency reason during my homebirth, time sensitive type issue
going over 41 weeks. I know this sounds lame, but my last baby was 9 lbs 4 oz, and the idea of going to 42 weeks, knowing I would have an 11 pound baby, frightens me. Im not worried about a 10 pounder. Im worried about bigger than that. Nine four was really not a big deal, all things considered, but my midwife just delivered an 11 lb 14 oz baby last week, and I got to hear all about the reality of really delivering a large baby like that. How many positions my midwife tried to use, maneuvers from Spiritual Midwifery's Ina May Gaskin, second guessing herself after the fact even though mom and baby are doing fine, that kind of thing.
Having a long, difficult birth. Grace was 16 hrs in the hospital, no meds. Lily was 3 1/2 hrs at home. Lily's birth was ideal. I am truly believing that my labor will be longer with this baby, and would be pleasantly surprised if it were shorter. I dont want any preconceived ideas about how long or short labor should be to make labor mentally more challenging to me. I really want to be prepared for dealing with a longer, harder labor, so that if thats what I get, I can manage it well. But I am afraid I will be upset. My mom was in labor with me for 7 hrs and less with my little brother. When I passed the 12 hr mark during labor with Grace, I was actually pissed, I just didnt understand why my labor was so much longer than hers, I felt cheated or something. I didnt know much then, obviously. But Im concerned that some of that might show up again during this labor, since I had such a nice short labor last time.
Curiously, Im not at all afraid of baby coming too fast for my midwife to get there. My husband is very levelheaded and would be a great candidate for baby catching. Heck, I even think I could handle talking my oldest daughter through what might be necessary if that's what it came down to. I have heard and read time and again that when baby comes fast like that, generally it means everything is fine and dandy, just go with it, and for gosh sakes dont hold back and try to keep baby in longer unless the cord prolapses or something crazy like that. I know to get in the tub and get myself all nice and hydrated if it seems like things are moving quickly, because I will perhaps tear less badly if I am well hydrated... that sort of thing.
Im not afaid of poop, but I am afraid of vomiting. I was not nauseated during transition with my first, and was nauseated for about 90 seconds during my 5 minute transition with Lily. But you just never know, births are so different.
Im sure I will come up with more! But those are the things off the top of my head.