Meltdown... - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 12 Old 07-27-2005, 07:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I had a complete meltdown this morning and I feel so horrible about it. I've been feeling down in the dumps and grumpy all day. I was trying to talk to my husband about something important, and he got really obnoxious and was completely ignoring me. He was laying on the couch with his eyes closed and decided to not acknowledge me at all. I kept saying his name and he just wouldn't listen to me. I shook his shoulders, yelled, pushed at him to try to snap him out of it. I started crying then I actually physically took him and pulled him off the couch so he was facing me to try and get him to pay attention to me. The worse part is my 2 year old was in the room and I set such a bad example for him. Anyhow, we did resolve our differences eventually and Jakob kept giving me kisses and asking me if I felt better. I told DS mommy wasn't being nice and that's not how we solve problems but I feel so stupid since we are teaching him to "talk don't hit". And even though I didn't actually hit DH I was being physical and irrational. I have been feeling so emotional all day and finding it hard not to yell, and feeling in general very guilty for this morning. My pregnancy with DS I was very emotional a lot of the time. This time I have been so even-keeled I was hoping I wouldn't have any days like this :

I did ask DH if I could have a day to myself this weekend without DS. I think I've had a whole day to myself less than 5 times since DS was born and I guess I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed I didn't quite realize how much. I've had so much energy until a few weeks ago and now it takes me so much longer to get things done, that is if I can get myself motivated to do anything at all some days. 9 weeks until my due day, I hope I snap out of this funk.

 

 
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#2 of 12 Old 07-27-2005, 09:01 PM
 
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I hope you feel better soon! I started taking a night off when dd was about 7-8 months old. I love my Thursday nights and I can't wait for that time alone. I spend it shopping, reading, staring into space, going to get coffee/tea, getting my toes done at the salon, talking to my Mom or a friend...whatever. It's wonderful!!!!!! I figure that my DH can handle the kids for one night out if I can handle 5+ days that he isn't around!

Insist on consistent time off! It's good for you!! Good luck!!
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#3 of 12 Old 07-27-2005, 09:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Lovnbnhome, I think that is excellent advice!!! Excellent excellent. I don't know why it is so hard for my DH to understand that I need time to myself. It always takes a lot of convincing to even go to the grocery store by myself. Anyhow, I think I will have a good talk to him about this tonight. I especially think I need to start doing it right away since the baby will be here before we know it. And I'm really hoping this baby will take expressed breastmilk from a bottle after it is a month or so old. Jakob never would take a bottle.

 

 
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#4 of 12 Old 07-27-2005, 10:52 PM
 
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(hugs)
If it makes you feel any better, I am feeling the same way. Overwhelmed, "down in the dumps" as you say, and yes, VERY grumpy.
And don't feel bad about breaking the "talk don't hit" rule. DH broke it too, when he was ignoring you!
I have read other women go through the same thing in the 3rd tri, so I am betting it's totally normal.
Hope you get that much needed break this weekend!!

heartbeat.gif heartbeat.gif heartbeat.gif

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#5 of 12 Old 07-27-2005, 11:01 PM
 
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I have been completely overemotional with this pregnancy too. It sucks. I totally agree with taking a day to yourself. I just moved and don't know anyone right now but I used to go play Bingo with a girlfriend once a week. I know Bingo is for old people but man we would have a blast and every once in a while we win some money. lol
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#6 of 12 Old 07-27-2005, 11:55 PM
 
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Oh, I feel a bit better now. Not because you had to go through this! But because I'm doing stupid things like that over nothing, too. I got tripped up the other morning because DH barely grunted at me then headed for the computer all morning, on his day off... I did "use words" but I was pouty and whiny the whole "conversation" - like a 3 year old...

to you. Hope your emotions settle down a bit.

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#7 of 12 Old 07-28-2005, 12:32 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by movingon
Oh, I feel a bit better now. Not because you had to go through this! But because I'm doing stupid things like that over nothing, too. I got tripped up the other morning because DH barely grunted at me then headed for the computer all morning, on his day off... I did "use words" but I was pouty and whiny the whole "conversation" - like a 3 year old...

to you. Hope your emotions settle down a bit.


I have mommy burnout too...it happens and is especially bad when pregnant. Don't be too hard on yourself...sounds like your DH was being a worm :

My burnout comes from my incredibly difficult 14 year old...I just had to pick her up for being out past her curfew...the second night in a row...I am so tired of it...I am soon locking her in her bedroom
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#8 of 12 Old 07-28-2005, 01:42 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks everyone for your words of support. It really helps to hear it. Allgirls, yes he was being a worm as you put it.

Now we've talked since he got home from work and he's agreed to give me one night a week to myself. I am really looking forward to it And here's something that's pretty funny. Even as I was angry with DH for being how he was, inside my head I was laughing at how it must look for me at 7 months pregnant to be trying to physically move my DH off the couch to look at me. I told DH and he said he was thinking the same thing. And he said after a few times of my trying he just rolled himself off the couch :LOL Now how goofy is that, two people angry with each other but inwardly finding humor in it. If we could just skip the angry part and be goofy that would be great.

Anyhow, feeling much better now. Talking things out with DH helped, as well as the bowl of icecream I had for dessert

 

 
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#9 of 12 Old 07-28-2005, 09:25 AM
 
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just chiming in to say I have been so emotional lately as well, and soooo easily irritated. Right this very second my MIL is waiting for her ride to come and pick her up. She is standing at the window and I can just hear her sniffling and it is making me want to scream. Whats that book? don't sweat the small stuff?? lol
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#10 of 12 Old 07-28-2005, 12:21 PM
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Worldshakerz:

could totally imagine your conversation with your DH. Very funny. I'm usually pretty emotional, and now I've found I have an excuse. :LOL Sometimes DH very dramatically rolls his eyes then his head at me and says -now you're not going to blame the little guy again are you?
The other day, DH got home just a few minutes before 10 at night. I had been waiting, to send him on a mission for a dozen eggs with which to make devil-ed eggs, the only thing I could think of making for a potluck since I'm supposed to be reclining or resting. As soon as he walked through the door I said "can I ask a favor?"
He responded, "Can I at least put my stuff down?" then proceeded to the kitchen table to finish eating his snack of cookies. As I explain the mission, he keeps nibbling at the cookies, then I comment about maybe the store not being open. He keeps eating the cookies! Then I start scowling at him and the cookies and he says "Well what do you want me to do?"
It occurred to me that I must look ridiculous, a professional woman, standing in a top and underwear, scowling because of a dozen eggs.
Well he did complete the mission and the devil-ed eggs turned out fine, but I think I could read the lines on his forehead which said, thank goodness only 3 more months of this :
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#11 of 12 Old 07-28-2005, 06:06 PM
 
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Wow...must be something about this stage of pregnancy! So many people have voiced what I've been feeling lately. I've been overemotional and ready to get upset and stressed out over the least little thing. The other day I lost it and shouted at my dd. I overheard her telling her big brother, "You know how when mom yells at you and you try not to cry and it makes your throat hurt?" Ouch. That one still makes *me* want to cry when I replay it in my mind.

I recently told dh I needed more help with the kids (and he normally helps a lot anyway) and I think this is really helping. Just having a bit more time by myself has made a big difference.

A happy woman
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#12 of 12 Old 07-29-2005, 02:26 AM
 
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I can't imagine taking care of other children all the time while pregnant (although someday I will get to experience it) I can barley keep me & dh mess clean, and although I work a few days a week, my energy level fluctuates a lot! As does my mood! Husbands should just treat pregnant woman like Queens!

I'm glad you get a one night a week for yourself, you deserve it mama!



*erin*
#1 edd 10/29/05

Happily married, Waldorf-inspired homeschooler to Kylan (8yo), Everest (6yo), and Bodhi (2yo)
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