Amanda~I've put some thought into what more you have shared of your situation...And I don't have advice, but I do have a couple of points you might want to consider. The first is that women tend to labor best in their own homes. This is why labor so often slows down when women go to the hospital--subconsciously they are reacting to being out of their own territory (Birthing from Within
explains this phenomenon quite well). How well you would labor at your friend's house depends on how certain you are that you will be completely comfortable there. If any part of your mind is worried about making a mess or making a scene or being "unguestlike," you might have problems.
However, you also have to take into consideration the impact a birth attendant with a negative attitude is likely to have on you. If your midwife doesn't want you to birth at home, even if she consents to attend you, you're probably very likely to wind up with a transfer to the birth center anyway
. Her attitude will transmit itself to you, and if she's against homebirth IMO she's that much more likely to push for a transfer that might be unnecessary.
If I were you, and comfortable with laboring at my friend's house, but uncomfortable with the idea of UC (which is actually what I
), I would go to her place and labor there as long as physically possible--hey, you've got three kids, you know how long you tend to stay in transition, right?--and only go to the birth center when I absolutely had
to. Or, you could stay at the friend's home with the idea of an "oops" UC, so you'd still be close to the birth center if you felt the need to go in.
Just a couple of thoughts.
Patti Ann, I think I'd have killed someone if they'd tried to keep me in the hospital 4 nights after my sections! Two nights were more
than enough; I was planning to call my husband to sign me out AMA the third morning after I had Linda, but before I could an OB came in and cleared me to leave. :LOL My recovery went so much better after I left the hospital it's not even funny.