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#1 of 11 Old 08-29-2005, 03:21 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm down to 5 weeks until my due date. Eventhough this is my second, I'm still scared of the unknown. I went to the hospital I'm going to deliver at today, and everything seems great..private room (and same room) for labor and recovery, nice nurses, but still I have that underlying feeling of dread that waves over me once and awhile. I had the same problem before I had my dd. Anyone else ever have those feelings? I'm just looking for some positive vibes!
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#2 of 11 Old 08-29-2005, 03:32 AM
 
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I'm jumping over -- I am due in November. This will be my third and I know just what you mean. Even as a natural birth advocate, having two vaginal births myself with no pain meds, being a doula who helps women achieve the births they want -- I am still freaked out. So much that I started this pregnancy off with anxiety attacks, which are totally new to me.

Finally I just said to myself: Why am I so worried? If it gets too bad I will just get an epidural! You know what, as funny as that is, it calmed me down. Now would I ever actually let myself get one? I don't know. I was just talking to a lady at my church today telling her I was getting worried about the actual labor part. She said, "Oh, I just chose the drugs -- epidural all the way." I told her my original plan with baby #1 had been epidural, but I was not able to get one -- the anesthesiologist was occupied in a surgery on another floor.

With my second, as hard as it was, I never even thought about it, isn't that funny? It never crossed my mind! My labor was only 8 hours from first "different" contraction until he was born, including 90 minutes of pushing and him being posterior and asynclitic AND 9 1/2 pounds, so really, that's not that long. And I did all kinds of things in my head -- mostly prayed for strength and help! But getting medications never even entered my mind, because I am sure if it did, I would have asked -- begged!

We need to remain focused on positive thoughts, not worrying about the potential hard things we will encounter. As a doula I often invite moms to think about what they have fear in, what they have faith in -- it is hard to have faith the birth will go well if you have fear something bad is going to happen. Maybe I need to take my own advice!

I wish you peace and I can't wait to hear your birth story .
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#3 of 11 Old 08-29-2005, 12:06 PM
 
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i'm a little worked up. but mostly I'm concerned about my dd -- how will she sleep, what will she do, etc. the labor I'm reasonably at peace with. I know what to expect, given that I had a LONG hard labor with dd and she ultimately was born via csection. Basically I'm mentally telling myself that I'm ready for everything except feeling baby crown and I figure when it gets to that baby will basically be here, right? I also know that my expectations are low -- I really want a VBAC, but I really wanted a natural birth with Erin (she was drug free until the section though).

anyhow, I'm right there with you.

Kristin -- mom of Erin (11/5/02) and Leah (9/29/05)
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#4 of 11 Old 08-29-2005, 02:36 PM
 
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Oh yes, I can certainly relate to getting nervous. This is our fourth and I ardently hope for a VBAC (third baby was emergency c/s). I'm not losing sleep over anxiety, just losing sleep generally out of physical discomfort!! But I'm nervous about enduring such truly over-the-top pain again, even though I know that my third labor was abnormal because of imminent uterine rupture...but still, that degree of pain left me a little scared this time around. I'm trying to focus on just good thoughts about the baby sliding out easily this time, positioned well, and no trauma to Baby or Mommy. I'm so thankful that I will have a doula, because I couldn't do it without her!

I also have opted NOT to take the anti-viral drugs, and am *slightly* nervous that I could have a herpes outbreak between now and labor, necessitating a c/s. But since I've only had one outbreak total, I'm not that concerned about it.....but I am a little nervous. Still, I would be more nervous about taking those drugs. My hubby went and got them at the pharmacy, but I just could not feel right about taking them. Ultimately, I have faith that things will turn out for the best in this birth as they always have before, but sometimes I still get nervous. And then I get upset with myself for being nervous about herpes, because I know that stress alone can cause an outbreak. *Sigh.*

Does anyone sometimes feel like they need to go out and buy a new puppy or something, something that requires a lot of work and is a lot of fun (besides kids I mean), just to take your mind off the imminent B-Day? But even despite being nervous, I STILL cannot wait for labor to start, and I can't wait to meet this fresh new little life!!!!!!! Glory be!
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#5 of 11 Old 08-30-2005, 04:28 AM
 
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This is our first and Im excited and scared and nervous and happy, and we also just want to meet this little guy and see what he looks like

My sis just had a little boy on the 6th and she keeps telling me Im crazy for wanting to do it without any pain meds, that it hurts like hell and that I will want them. I wish for more support from her but that is what you get sometimes.

Im scared, wow Ive said it twice and it makes me feel better just saying that. We start our childbirth ed classes this weekend and I hope that puts some perspective on it for me and the daddy.

Wishing you all wonderful births.
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#6 of 11 Old 08-30-2005, 07:01 AM
 
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I'm really, really, really nervous. I really am not into delivering in a hospital but I just moved here and I still don't know anything and I won't be able to have a homebirth this time for sure. I've already chosen the hospital with the best facilities but I'm afraid of her being c-section happy or wanting to cut me down there or making it too medical. Hospitals really make me nervous as it is and I don't want to feel like I'm sick or something if that makes sense. Though I felt encouraged already because I went last week to the hospital and got to see the labour ward a bit and it's fairly cheerful. Girls were walking around in labour and they have happyish yellow walls, lots of windows and plants around and none of the women looked very unhappy. So that made me feel a bit better and my doctor is a really nice woman and the place seems to advocate breastfeeding - they have posters everywhere and I haven't seen any formula posters there as I had at the first clinic I was going to. I still need to talk to the doctor though about a birth plan type of thing.

I am nervous about the pain but for some reason not as bad. It hasn't kicked in yet still. I'm a bit nervous because I'm 33 weeks already and I still don't have anything... Still! I ordered diapers and a hotsling but they are in the States right now and I won't have them until October or so... And I haven't gotten her any clothes or a basket or anything! My Mother In-law did get a bunch of things and we're going to get that on the 2'd of September. So, I'll have to see where to go from there then I suppose.

I'm nervous about being able to take care of her. If I'll be able to hack breastfeeding, if I'll be a good mother. I'm not as scared of the beginning but more of the future. I can more see me holding a baby but when I think about having an eight year old or thirteen year old I get freaked out. How will I explain things like sex, how will I handle those weird questions like why is the sky blue and why this and why that.

I always get stuck on the little things usually. But it's usually the little things that make a huge difference!

loveeyes.gif Mama to a lively DD (10/05) energy.gifand DS (06/23) babyboy.gif!

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#7 of 11 Old 08-30-2005, 12:53 PM
 
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Am I the only one who tthinks it isn't that bad? lol

I mean it hurts like he!! but I don't really think it is that bad. The only part that I Can't handle is the crowning. I seem to lose it for that part and if I was having a hospital birth I would seriously consider gettting a shot to numb the area when his head crowns. I never knew that was something you could do or I would have done it with my last one too. lol But I am having a homebirth and I doubt that is an option.
I am more nervous about having three kids under three and an 8 yr old than the birth. How am I going to give all of them enough attention adn recover from the birth. My hubby is going to try and take at least three days off of work depending on when and how long my labor is but after that I am on my own and he works out of town all week so I am all by myself all week.
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#8 of 11 Old 08-30-2005, 10:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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It's nice to know you're not alone when you have fears. I appreciate everyones thoughts. I'm hoping for all of us to have the birth story we'd most like to have.
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#9 of 11 Old 08-31-2005, 12:30 AM
 
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I'm another one who is getting nervous about DS and how he'll fare while I'm at the hospital. This child has not slept ONE NIGHT without mama in 2 1/2 years. I just want him to feel secure while I'm away.
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#10 of 11 Old 08-31-2005, 03:52 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My dd is just a week older than your ds, and she hasn't ever been away from me for a night either. It does make you feel like you'll be missing your right arm for the time you'll be apart. My hope is that she'll be less anxious than I am about it. I keep talking about how I'll be away to have Hank, and she'll be with Grandma and Daddy. I'm trying to prepare her, but it still makes you aprehensive. I'll just miss her so much.
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#11 of 11 Old 08-31-2005, 05:17 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by buffybutt
My sis just had a little boy on the 6th and she keeps telling me Im crazy for wanting to do it without any pain meds, that it hurts like hell and that I will want them. I wish for more support from her but that is what you get sometimes.

you know, I think it really varies person to person.
My labor hurt like hell, I asked for drugs and my doula and hubby knew I didn't want them. So they were able to talk me through. Other friends said it didn't hurt until baby crowned.

my SIL was like "why can't in this day and age they make a drug you can take all through labor." she ultimately had a csection for a breech baby, but she didn't feel any sadness at missing feeling baby crown.

my outlook is that your body can handle it. Women are made for birthing babies.

Kristin -- mom of Erin (11/5/02) and Leah (9/29/05)
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