Co-Sleeping transitions and new baby - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 09-06-2005, 03:40 PM - Thread Starter
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Just another thing to wonder about amidst all the other things to wonder about. What are other doing?

Our dd is 3 and has recently (in the last 2 months) begun making the transition to her very own bed, which is right next to our bed. She sleeps in her bed all night about 45% of the time. She starts the night out in her bed 100% of the time, and asks to come sleep next to us about 3 am 65% of the time.

I'm just wondering how on earth am I going to survive this continued transitional period during the first few months after the new baby is born??

We don't have room for a crib or co sleeper.

Should I buy some sort of bolster / protection for newborn to be on the edge of bed? Do I just wait while dd falls asleep again, and then move with baby into her bed? Dd is a night thrasher, so there is no option of putting baby near her.

In this month's issue of Mothering, they discuss the benefits of family bed/co-sleeping, and then on the issue of having toddlers near baby it's a no-way toddler-must-not-be-near-baby issue. But what is one to do???

Has anyone else successfully survived this period?

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#2 of 8 Old 09-06-2005, 08:58 PM
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No, but when this one gets here, I will start the family bed dilemma.

We bought a king sized bed [we needed a new bed anyway] to give us extra room. Some nights, a king sized bed isn't big enough for 2 adults and a toddler who sleeps sideways. :\
I sleep near the wall, Adam sleeps near the edge. Eva sleeps in the middle. I think I'll be putting the new baby between me and the wall. In the beginning, she'll most likely sleep on my chest or in the crook of my arm[by the wall], so I'm not worried about her getting hit by a flailing toddler or falling between the bed and the wall. But we'll see if that even works. Once she's hear, my comfort level just might change!

I am more worried about tandem night nursing! Can anyone give advice on that?!

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#3 of 8 Old 09-06-2005, 09:20 PM
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I'm kind of waiting to see how it goes at this point too. Jakob is 2 1/2 now. No matter how we start out at night, he usually ends up pushing me to the extreme edge of the bed, almost pushing me off sometimes! Rach, my toddler also ends up sleeping sideways. And that's just him and me on a California King...DH usually sleeps on the couch because its a million times more comfortable (our bed it really hard). I think what I will end up doing is getting one of those co-sleeping bumper things that go on one side of the bed and have the baby on that side of me, and Jakob can be on the other side. As for tandem nursing, I am wondering how that will be too. Jakob isn't get any mommy milk right now and he really misses it. I mean I let him latch on for about 10 seconds at time at this point, for nap, for bed, etc. Then he falls asleep cuddling. It's so cute, "I cuddle your boob" he says. He usually cuddles my boobs a few minutes then I turn him to face the other way otherwise he's too distracted to go to sleep. Most nights it works fine now, but there are still times he cries for mommy milk. He is definitely planning on tandeming, he talks about it....."This one is for baby, this one is for me" he says. I'm hoping he won't want to start nursing constantly, I don't think he will. I'm hoping we can keep a limit, maybe having a short nap and bed time nurse and have him fall asleep without actually being latched on and just cuddle like we have been. We shall see though


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#4 of 8 Old 09-06-2005, 10:16 PM
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My son Atticus sounds kind of like Jakob! He didn't get too much milk for a while either but now he tells me it is "super yummy tasty!"

We have been "practicing" for when our new little guy comes. Atticus usually falls asleep with either me or my husband and he is usually in the middle of the bed. When we later go up to sleep for the night my husband moves him to the other side of him. Atticus now sleeps through the night and only wakes to nurse in the morning, which involves him climbing over dh to get to me.

When the baby comes we plan on moving one side of our king next to the wall. I purchased a Snuggle Nest, just in case I need to put him between me and the wall, but plan on him sleeping on my chest like Atti did, at least for a while. We are going to try with Atti on the other side of dh (so us in between the two kids) and see how that works!

Good luck to all on this one!

Susan~Mama to Atticus (2003), Creeley (2005), Townsyn (2007) and a fourth boy on the way in 2011!
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#5 of 8 Old 09-06-2005, 10:36 PM
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im sneeking in from the nov EDD club..

im in a sort of similar situation.. my little guy is nearing three ( he will turn three just after baby is born) and i set up his own bed just 2 days ago. the first night he fell asleep in my bed and i moved him to his own and he woke up at about 8 and crawled into my bed for a morning snuggle.. it was perfect! then last night i tried to get him to go to sleep in his own bed (which is about 2 arms lengths from my bed..) and he would have none of it he said " i want to sleep with you momma" "dont throw me away" i feel so bad! he feels like by me not sharing a bed with him anymore im throwing him away! once he was asleep in my bed i moved him, but he woke up at around 1am and climbed into my bed..and he wanted to be in my arms and when i turned over onto my side to sleep he cried and climbed over me into my arms again ! he hasnt done this for ages... then at 5am he woke up hungry! i couldnt sleep after that and i realised that i should get used to night time wakings anyways :LOL

i feel like i really need the space of my bed right now... and i want to have a fmaily bed... but i also feel like for the first little while it would be better for us all if he slept at least part of the night in his own bed.. for all of our sanity! he is a wiggler and kicker and flailer in his sleep and he takes over more than half the i dont want him waking up everytime the baby cries.. BLAH!

Once in while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right.... mama of 4 lovelies, an angel, and one on the way.

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#6 of 8 Old 09-06-2005, 11:23 PM
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I have no idea how we'll solve it. Our house is tiny. I mean tiny[B]. 2 bedrooms and the "kids'" room scarcely has space for both a crib and a twin bed. Right now it has a 3 sided crib/toddler bed style thing that DS DOES NOT SLEEP IN EVER. Has never slept in, actually.

Anyway, we still have our Arm's Reach co-sleeper, so at the very least I'll set that up next to me, and keep DS in our bed. He likes to sleep snuggled up to me. I it so much! But there is going to be another monkey in the bed very soon, so I gotta figure it all out.

Still, I think DS should stay with me as much as possible so he doesn't feel alienated. We'll just make space, I suppose.

P.S. DH sleeps in living room. :
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#7 of 8 Old 09-07-2005, 04:50 PM
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We have this situation as well. DS (3yo) asked a month or so ago where the baby was going to sleep. And when I told him that the baby would sleep with us, he decided that we should sleep in this order: Mama, DS, baby, Papa - basically, he wanted to sleep next to the baby, and stay close to me. We're already in a King size bed, and use the whole thing, so not sure how to fit a baby between me and the outer edge. I've been considering a bassinet for at least the first couple of weeks, but concerned that that sounds like alot of "waking up" time to BS. LOL! I guess I got lazy with the sleeping while BSing bit. We're considering getting a twin sized bed to put between ours and the wall, and just growing the family bed, basically. I think that's probally our best choice, even if it means we have to move some furniture out of the room to do it. I'm going to have to make some very custom sheets, I think!

Anyway, that's where we are with it at the moment. We also have a "wait and see" attitude. But the one thing I don't want to do is move DS out into his own bed before he's ready for that, and especially not around the birth of a second child.

We're also planning on tandem nursing. Interestingly, DS has also designated one breast as his, and one as the baby's. We'll see how that goes, logistically....
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#8 of 8 Old 09-07-2005, 07:48 PM
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Originally Posted by swngrrl
Interestingly, DS has also designated one breast as his, and one as the baby's. We'll see how that goes, logistically....
How funny! Atticus just informed me after nap time today that the left "boob" was for him and the right "boob" is for Creeley. How sweet of them to think of sharing! We'll see...

Susan~Mama to Atticus (2003), Creeley (2005), Townsyn (2007) and a fourth boy on the way in 2011!
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