partner's a jerk - Mothering Forums

 
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#1 of 11 Old 09-24-2005, 07:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
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do guys get hormones too? not-so-dear p this morning woke up in the most horrible mood and has been yelling all day. Haven't been here to hear him, as I took ds to his soccer game, than had my appt for nst and got my car's oil changed... but in between all that, he has been quite vile.

Really don't know what got into him... asked what was wrong and got an earful, but nothing resembling any sort of sane answer.

He has been screaming that the house isn't clean, which is only kinda true, but nothing new. I'm still working full time + 35 weeks pregnant, so not keeping up on everything. Kel stopped by for a few minutes and he told her that he didn't want her to come since the house was dirty (which is RUDE), but she responded, "oh, it's okay, she's pregnant, she's got an excuse". NONE of my friends care if the house is spotless. But her comment pushed him closer to the edge of sanity. (WHAT ON EARTH DOES HE THINK HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR THE LAST 8 MONTHS!!)

And we are not talking filthy- we are talking a few boxes I haven't gotten around to unpacking (we moved in mid July), mostly since I didn't go buy bookshelves until today so there wasn't anywhere to put them and a pile of papers on the counter I need to go through. (Since I'm venting, can I mention that I've asked him to go buy bookshelves a dozen times and he 'never got around to it')

He has left now to go run 'errands' so house is finally quiet!!

My friend is throwing us a baby "party" tonight, not a shower, so no games or stuff just food and drink...

Another one of my friends thinks that the party tonight is what tipped nsdp over the edge-- perhaps the fact that he is having a baby just dawned on him.

Please- at what age do they grow up??????????????????????????????????
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#2 of 11 Old 09-24-2005, 07:36 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dylan27

Please- at what age do they grow up??????????????????????????????????
My FIL is pretty mature now...he's 79 :LOL I think it just happened recently.

sorry dp is being a jerk...just what you need now uh?

Take care of yourself and let him be a jerk...he will feel bad when this mood ends.

HUGS mama
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#3 of 11 Old 09-24-2005, 07:42 PM
 
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Please- at what age do they grow up??????????????????????????????????[/QUOTE]

I think they are that way permantly!
Something in the genetic make-up of men?
Trust me, you learn to deal with it
I know when my husband-to-be gets upset, tense
or in very rare cases disrespectful when he comes back
to say sorry (I take what I can..saying,"Yea you should be..!")
But that doesn't happen too often I pretty much can read him and
I try to defuse the situation before it starts
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#4 of 11 Old 09-24-2005, 07:56 PM
 
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Hey,

My dad just told me the other day in all sincerity,

"Sorry, Bea (my nickname), it just took me 58 years to grow up."

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#5 of 11 Old 09-24-2005, 07:57 PM
 
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Oh yeah, the ancient Greeks said that women were ready for marriage at 18, and men shoud not marry until 50. (I guess by then they would be equally mature to their 18 year old wives!) :LOL
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#6 of 11 Old 09-24-2005, 08:01 PM
 
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I saw this and couldn't resist posting! (I'm not in your ddc)

Men do have hormone surges. In fact men have a surge of testosterone every twenty minutes in an amount that makes their action/feelings similar to what a woman goes through when she has pms. :LOL So yes, he's being an emotional baby today.

Give more**Expect Less
There is no such thing as bad weather. Only bad clothing.
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#7 of 11 Old 09-24-2005, 08:03 PM
 
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Yee-hoo! Finally some info that makes me feel sane when my hubby "goes off" ! :LOL
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#8 of 11 Old 09-26-2005, 02:58 PM
 
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my husband has also had a VERY bad week or two. He's lost his mind, i swear, he says and does things that are completely irrational, like when he slammed our bedroom door so hard that it broke the frame, bent the hardware, and popped out on the wrong side. Helloooooo i told him that i was hot (having a flash) and wanted some company while i laid in bed and tried to cool off, and he thought it was a HORRIBLE thing for me to ask, because the fan i had on "dries him out" Heaven forbid...
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#9 of 11 Old 09-26-2005, 09:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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No real apology, but he was a lot more affectionate yesterday than usual. AND put the crib together, which I've been talking about for at least a month (wanted it to get done Labor Day weekend.)

So there's hope.
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#10 of 11 Old 09-27-2005, 05:16 PM
 
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I really find with my husband that sex and his mood are closely connected.
VERY VERY CLOSELY!
So as we near our final days and weeks of pregnancy and are maybe not focusing as intently on their needs as we should, after all that is our "responsibility", we could be affecting their moods.
Mine however spent his entire weekend painting our house.
15 minutes in the bedroom resulted in 2 days of hard work! Well worth the investment! :LOL
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#11 of 11 Old 09-29-2005, 02:55 AM
 
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Whether or not you like Dr. Phil, his book Relationship Rescue has a great chapter about how we train people how to treat us, which means often they do what they do because they know they can get away with it. I finally had to tell my husband I would not tolerate him losing his temper around me, and forced him to sleep on the couch for three days. He's a good man, and kind, but occasionally he loses control, and I will not let him do that around our son when he is born. As a pregnant woman, you deserve to let the housework wait, you deserve some patience and compassion, and you need to let him know that you need his strength right now, you need to know you can count on him. My husband has been very supportive ever since, especially once I got him to express his frustrations and then was able to express mine in return and we were able to reach an understanding. The truth is, men are perfectly capable of growing up if they believe they have to. You have a right to expect it.
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