Rainer Matthew Keegan Rest in peace 12-12-05 - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 40 Old 12-12-2005, 02:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'll get around to posting on the grief and loss thread soon, but I wanted to post here first, since I consider you guys to be my friends after the months of posting while I was pregnant. And you guys know the whole story of his trials and birth.

My son stopped breathing at 1pm yesterday afternoon. After heroic measures, he died at 4:50 this morning. I spent the best 7 weeks of my life with my darling boy, and I don't understand how he came through everything else- all his surgeries and everything to be taken away now.

I was walking and feeding him in our sling and I noticed that he had stopped sucking. I thought he was asleep, so I pulled myself out and then after about a minute, I got this nagging feeling that something wasn't right. We pulled him out and realized he wasn't breathing. We did infant CPR while we waited on the side of the road for the paramedics. He was in cardiac arrest for over 30 minutes. They were able to start his heart again, but he never was able to breathe on his own. This morning, his organs began to fail and we decided to remove him from the vent. We were able to hold him, bathe him and dress him before we left. I still don't understand why I couldn't bring him home again. I'm having a very hard time accepting...
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#2 of 40 Old 12-12-2005, 04:18 PM
 
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I'm so very sorry for your loss of your precious baby. My heart just goes out to you and your family.



Tracy

Rockin' mama to Allison (9), Asher (5) and Alethea (3), head over heels in love with my sexy husband, Tony.

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#3 of 40 Old 12-12-2005, 05:00 PM
 
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You are in my thoughts. I couldn't help but respond with hugs to this thread. Be well, mama.

megin

Mommy to an amazing 8 year old, wife to an inspiring principal, and welcoming Wylie Grace! Our July 4th babe!
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#4 of 40 Old 12-12-2005, 05:03 PM
 
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There are no words to tell you how very sorry I am.

Peace to you, mama.

He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe is as good as dead; his eyes are closed.  ~Albert Einstein
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#5 of 40 Old 12-12-2005, 09:46 PM
 
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Words cannot express how very sorry I am for your family's loss.
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#6 of 40 Old 12-12-2005, 09:54 PM
 
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Oh my goodness. I am so very sorry for your loss.

Alicia mama to 3 boys 6 and under.
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#7 of 40 Old 12-12-2005, 10:38 PM
 
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Oh mama, I am so very, very sorry for your loss. I hang out on the pregnancy and loss board and there are so many great mamas that will be there for you. I hope you will get the support you need to get through this awful, heartbreaking time. You, your family and especially your precious baby Rainer will be in my thoughts.
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#8 of 40 Old 12-12-2005, 11:22 PM
 
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Oh mama...I am so sorry. Rest in peace sweet Rainer....you are loved.

:

~Brandon Michael (11/23/03), Jocelyn Lily Nữ (2/4/07, adopted 5/28/07 from Vietnam), Amelia Rylie (1/14/09), & Ryland Josef William (9/7/05-9/7/05 @ 41 wks). 
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#9 of 40 Old 12-12-2005, 11:24 PM
 
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I am so sorry you lost your dear baby boy. No Mama should know this pain.

Cristina - "If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded." Maya Angelou
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#10 of 40 Old 12-12-2005, 11:29 PM
 
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I am so sorry.
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#11 of 40 Old 12-12-2005, 11:32 PM
 
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I am so sorry
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#12 of 40 Old 12-12-2005, 11:44 PM
 
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Oh Mama! I am soo sorry for your loss. I hope you find the peace and strength you need through this difficult time. Sending you lots of love and hugs!! May Rainer remain in your hearts forever!! My prayers and thoughts are going out to you and your family
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#13 of 40 Old 12-12-2005, 11:46 PM
 
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I'm so sorry.
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#14 of 40 Old 12-13-2005, 12:16 AM
 
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Mama, I am crying for you and Rainer. I am so sorry for your loss. You are both in my prayers.

 

 
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#15 of 40 Old 12-13-2005, 12:21 AM
 
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I'm so sorry mama. My hugs to you.

Mama to 14yo, 9yo, 7yo, and babe born 9/2012
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#16 of 40 Old 12-13-2005, 12:22 AM
 
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I am very, very sorry too. What a tragic loss. You are in my prayers, Mama.
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#17 of 40 Old 12-13-2005, 12:25 AM
 
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I am so sorry...words fail me...

rest in peace sweet baby Rainer


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#18 of 40 Old 12-13-2005, 12:45 AM
 
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No words seem adequate. Know that your family is in our prayers

Loving mom to 2energy.gif ,1jammin.gif , & 1dog2.gif . Surrodaughter 4/09
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#19 of 40 Old 12-13-2005, 12:45 AM
 
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I am so sorry Mama....
I will be looking for you over on the grief boards.
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#20 of 40 Old 12-13-2005, 01:05 AM
 
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I am so so sorry for the loss of your sweet little Rainer.

Chrissy, lucky mama to Noah (9), Lilah (6), Rowan (3) and Laney (1).
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#21 of 40 Old 12-13-2005, 01:36 AM
 
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There are no words. He sounds like a beautiful, beautiful baby and I'm so sorry he was taken from you so soon. It sounds like you are able to treasure the time you had with him, and I hope you are able to find some comfort in that.

Thinking of you,
Hilary
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#22 of 40 Old 12-13-2005, 02:47 AM
 
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Oh, I am so sorry for your loss. Hugs to you and yours, mama.
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#23 of 40 Old 12-13-2005, 03:07 AM
 
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I'm so sorry for your loss. I will light a candle for your family tonight

Mamato Ruby Violet joy.gif(6 with autism) and someone 1sttri.gif who should make him/herself known sometime in the next month.

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#24 of 40 Old 12-13-2005, 03:13 AM
 
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I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope that you are surrounded with love and people who will protect your right to grieve freely and safely.

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#25 of 40 Old 12-13-2005, 03:37 AM
 
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I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet baby.

Normal is just a setting on your dryer.
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#26 of 40 Old 12-13-2005, 05:25 AM
 
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I'm so sorry..
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#27 of 40 Old 12-13-2005, 04:07 PM
 
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I am so sorry.
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#28 of 40 Old 12-13-2005, 05:54 PM
 
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I am sorry.
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#29 of 40 Old 12-14-2005, 12:55 AM
 
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I am so sorry for the loss of your precious boy.

Desiree

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#30 of 40 Old 12-14-2005, 01:04 AM
 
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Words can't begin to describe the sorrow that I feel for your loss.

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