I HATE the Sopranos! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 03-08-2004, 12:46 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My husband has been looking forward to this doggone show for a long time, and he went down to watch it on the big screen in high definition. He asked me if I was going to watch it, and I said no. I gave up on it when Ralphie kicked the pregnant woman to death.

So hubby has been telling me about it ever since it ended. He said, "This is just the kind of gratuitous violence thing you hate" then proceeds to tell the story of how Christopher and Pauly get into a pissing contest about paying for dinner. So Pauly orders a ton of stuff so that Christopher will have to pay, then Christopher gives a really bad tip to the waiter who complains. As the waiter is storming away, Pauly throws a brick at him. The waiter has a seizure and the two mobsters decide that he can ID them, so one of them pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter.

I got really pissed! I asked him why he is telling me this since he knows it will upset me. He was kind of laughing as he told the story. He said, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you could separate fiction from reality." He totally doesn't get it!

My husband can't watch romantic movies where women get hurt, even emotionally. Legally Blonde bothered him for that reason. : He was most upset when Melfi got raped -- that really bugged him. But a waiter with a wife and children, yeah that's fine.

Anyway, just had to vent. I hate that show!!!!!
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#2 of 7 Old 03-08-2004, 01:43 AM
 
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Amywillo,

I can completely understand! I've seen it twice (when staying at hotels), and the violence was so graphic and stomach turning. I saw one where James Gandolfini whips some guy w/a belt for dating his ex-girlfriend. Nice.

I was listening to the creator of the Sopranos on Fresh Air on Thurs. He kept saying, if you don't want to see violence, don't watch of mob show. He wasn't being patronizing, really. I definitely would have to ask my dh to NOT tell me about the show! I have enough real life stuff to upset me--I don't need Tony and the boys to add to things.

Anyway, the creator of S. was saying that he feels that television is really just attempting to sell a lifestyle. I find this thought fascinating, since we decided long ago to not watch TV. He also addressed the killing of a woman---which may be the pg one you were talking about. He said that no one "got" what he was trying to say....which was...that there are so many women in the world who are seen as disposable, and he was trying to address this through her character. She was an unloved child who grew up, and this is what happened to her. He also said next year will be the last---so hope that's good news for you


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#3 of 7 Old 03-08-2004, 04:19 AM
 
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Okay... you are entitled to dislike the show and your DH should leave you the hell alone about it.

That said, I think the most responsible thing about the show is the sheer level of brutality. For a very long time in movies and tv the gangster life has been idealized. They live beautifully, have wonderful stuff, great houses, are generally good looking, hip, charming, on and on, right? And the uglier aspects of their lives are glossed over or shown in a highly stylized fashion. What the creators of this show decided from the word go was that if they were going to show this lifestyle, from the bathrobe and the hassles with teen kids on up they were NOT going to glamorize it. When they show ugly behavior it is truly ugly. No pretty Pulp Fiction style compositions, no cutting to a different shot just before the moment of impact... they show the violence. Of you want to see the glamour side of that business you must also look the viscousness of it right in the face as well. I respect this POV like crazy.


That said, I also think your husbands comment and your response to it speak volumes about how differently (most) men and (most) women process stories. He detached and was able to view it simply as a made up story with a somewhat absurd, over the top ending. You personalized it to the degree that in your mind the guy has a wife and kids. Worlds apart. I have at various times been able to do the detachment thing with stuff like this... but after my DD was born everything... and I do mean pretty much every little thing, struck me so to the heart! That had started to fade... I was thinking I might watch this season after skipping the last year or so (not because it bothered me but because the scheduling of the show made it increasingly difficult to view it when my DD was not around.) Well... I just found out I am pregnant. I know I cannot watch it now. It will just hit me too hard.
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#4 of 7 Old 03-08-2004, 08:59 AM
 
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How many others "detatch" themselves from it? How many others consider it over the top and, therefore, just a "story". Just entertainment.


I've lived in Chicago all my life.
I know the wise guys, don't need the movie. I couldn't watch it for that reason.



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#5 of 7 Old 03-08-2004, 11:33 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by Amywillo
The waiter has a seizure and the two mobsters decide that he can ID them, so one of them pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter.


welcome to we've been glamorizing the (psuedo) wiseguy lifestyle since (at least) the first Godfather film. to be honest, on the morality Ickiness scale, i don't see Sopranos being anywhere near as bad as buying Nikes made in Indonesia.
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#6 of 7 Old 03-08-2004, 10:45 PM
 
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The first and last time I watched a complete episode of The Sopranos was the one where Ralphie beat his pregnant girlfriend to death. I was so disturbed I literally felt nauseous the next day. Later I heard that was probably the most violent, disturbing episode later.....nonetheless, I can't watch a show that is that upsetting. Its not entertainment as far as I'm concerned. Its too bad because the writing is great. I love the family dynamics. I just can't take the violence. Its weird because the writer was on NPR the other day saying how years ago he lost interest in the "poetry of violence" and the only reason the show included violence is because its about the mob & they want it to be authentic. YEAH RIGHT!

"We shape the clay into a pot but it is the emptiness inside that holds whatever we want" Lao Tzu
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#7 of 7 Old 03-08-2004, 11:02 PM
 
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Quote:
That said, I think the most responsible thing about the show is the sheer level of brutality. For a very long time in movies and tv the gangster life has been idealized.
ITA. In fact, I heard a great NPR interview with the actor who plays Dr. Melfi (yikes her name escapes me now) and she was saying the same thing, basically that they don't try to glamorize the mob lifestyle at all.

I do have to admit I really like the Sopranos. I think it's just a top quality show. The violence doesn't thrill me either, but it wouldn't have the same power... or message... without it IMO.
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