"I didn't know I was pregnant..." - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 41 Old 06-24-2010, 01:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Has anyone ever seen this show? I was watching it yesterday with a look of sheer horror on my face. I can't believe how many babies were born in public restrooms to moms who thought they were having a bowel movement!

I mean, do y'all think this is just maaaaaajor denial or is it truly possible to not know you're pregnant? This seems unthinkable to me since I started feeling pregnant like...days after conception. And now, wow--how could I not know? I am a huge, out-of-breath, hungry, sick, heartburny lady!

One lady yesterday was in labor and didn't want to cut her family vacation short because of her "minor aches and pains" and like a good sport, rode every ride at Six Flags! OMG! OMG! Thinking of riding even one kid's ride in my current 30 weeks state makes me want to kind of die.

Thoughts on this?

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#2 of 41 Old 06-24-2010, 01:59 PM
 
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I haven't seen this show, but have heard about this happening. I always wondered HOW someone could not know. I mean, when the baby starts moving, hiccuping? What the heck was she thinking was wrong with her stomach when it jumped and rolled? I don't know if I believe it is possible to not know, at least on some level. I just don't believe these women at all.

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#3 of 41 Old 06-24-2010, 02:11 PM
 
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My grandmother worked as a receptionist for a small-town family practitioner before she retired, and actually saw this.

The woman came in to the doctor with severe stomach pains and had a baby right there on the examining table.




I can't imagine not knowing. Just because of the movement, if nothing else.

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#4 of 41 Old 06-24-2010, 02:14 PM
 
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I'm only recently starting to feel regular movements (ant placenta) so I kinda get it.. I spent more than 20weeks of this pregnancy looking for signs that I WAS pg! I'm already fat so putting on some weight wasn't really a red flag. I still don't feel kicks out front they're mostly down low or on the side. If I wern't noticing them I could totally see hwo someone could dismiss it as some sort of digestive ailment.

FWIW my sister is probably the most clueless woman in the WORLD and she found out she was pg around 32 weeks. So I think if she figured it out *anyone* could.

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#5 of 41 Old 06-24-2010, 02:16 PM
 
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See, I can see not knowing until third tri, if you're fluffier, keep having periods or have had really irregular periods, and have anterior placenta. But to TERM?

Kelly (28), in love with husband Jason (38) and our awesome babies:  Emma 4/09, and Ozzy 8/10

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#6 of 41 Old 06-24-2010, 02:24 PM
 
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DDCC

I know someone who didn't know she was pregnant until she was more than halfway through the pregnancy. She was old enough to have hit menopause and never expected to get pregnant at her age. She thought she was having stomach issues and found out she was pregnant when she saw a doctor about it. Her kids are 20 years apart in age. She says she feels more like a grandmother than a mother to this one.

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#7 of 41 Old 06-24-2010, 02:24 PM
 
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See, I can see not knowing until third tri, if you're fluffier, keep having periods or have had really irregular periods, and have anterior placenta. But to TERM?
Exactly!

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#8 of 41 Old 06-24-2010, 02:27 PM
 
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Ha, I just caught part of that show last night too! It really hooks you in. I had seen it once before. I had also heard a story of a friend's aunt to whom this happened. I think what most of these stories have in common is that (1) the women have been told they will never be able to get pregnant, (2) they tend to be fluffy, and (3) they have irregular periods and/or bleeding throughout pregnancy. Then, add to that people with other medical conditions that could further disguise movement (maybe fluid in the wrong places, or irritable bowel, or something) and/or an anterior placenta, and you could imagine how movement might be easier to miss. Maybe in some cases, they are not doing good prenatal care, so baby is small, even at term. Anyway, I'm sure there are some ridiculous cases on there that involve deluded women as well, but it surely can happen.

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#9 of 41 Old 06-24-2010, 02:49 PM
 
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My cousin went through it... between her anterior placenta and the fact that she was on the depo shot... she never once suspected it... until she went to the hospital with severe stomach cramps. She didn't gain any weight with the pregnancy, likely due to not having increased her food intake for the baby... thus losing weight while gaining baby.

Also, one lady on the show (from Northern Illinois, had her baby in Wisconsin at a cabin) is a friend of mine IRL and trust me... she wasn't in denial that pregnancy was possible! She had tested, although it was possibly too early.

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#10 of 41 Old 06-24-2010, 02:58 PM
 
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This happened to a family friend - she is a big woman, tall and heavy-set but not obese. She already had 2 kids, the younger one was 14 mo when the surprise baby arrived - she never thought she was pregnant, she is a super-active person and was out chopping wood the day before she gave birth. The baby was a little smaller than her previous two and she never felt anything that couldn't have been explained as gas, she said it was a totally different experience than her first two. Also with two little kids she wasn't sitting still a lot to feel baby wobbles. She gained a little weight at the end but she figured that was because she was back at work and not chasing kids all day! She really had no clue, she thought something was horribly wrong went she went into labour so she dropped the kids with grandma and took herself to the hospital. EVERYONE was shocked. My in-laws saw her a week before this happened and said they never would have thought she was pregnant.

ETA: sorry to nose in on your DDC. I just saw this thread title on the main page and had to comment, it's still blowing my mind.

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#11 of 41 Old 06-24-2010, 03:12 PM
 
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I am usually a super active chick, I do physical work and am usually on the move. When I am sleeping at night I can feel the baby move, and he interupts my dreams. The other day I was high-speeding a piece of pipe and he kicked my stomache. It made the high-speeder jump off the pin, because of how close my arm was to where he kung-fu'd me. So, the idea of making it full term and NEVER having a clue, is just mind-blowing for me. Active or not.

Off topic: I love that name! Rowan!

"A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bank balance smaller, home happier, clothes dirty, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for." ~A.U.
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#12 of 41 Old 06-24-2010, 03:28 PM
 
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I get sucked into this show all the time. I don't get it, either!!!

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#13 of 41 Old 06-24-2010, 03:32 PM
 
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I am ashamed to admit that I watch this show a lot:

The one thing I have noticed about it is that a lot of women they feature either have their periods throughout the pregnancy or they have irregular periods anyway and have a couple of bleeds throughout the pg. Since an absent period is supposed to be THE big sign of pg, if your period isn't absent, I can kinda see, particularly the ones that go basically symptomless.

The ones I don't get though are the ones with lots of symptoms that should be obvious. Like the one last night. The girl was 18, the mom was a nurse. And even though the girl did have her period, she had several other obvious symptoms, like weight gain, nausea, heartburn etc. And, she began to exhibit signs of pre-e, her mom the nurse actually took her BP which was high, 140 over something, and her mom not only didn't insist that she go to the doc for the high bp, she then went out of town. The poor girl went out for 4th of July even though she wasn't feeling well and had a seziure from the eclampsia and had a car wreck. She was not consious in the hospital when they did the u/s and discovered that she was pg and they hadn't been able to identify her yet so they hadn't contacted her mom or any other friends or family and decided that the section was a necessary lifesaving measure, so the baby was born before the girl even knew she was pg. She wakes up in recovery and they are like, don't worry your baby is fine she's right outside and she's like what baby?

I just don't get how a nurse as the girl's mom, could miss signs that just appear so obvious, or at the very least, get the high bp looked at.
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#14 of 41 Old 06-24-2010, 05:32 PM
 
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It is weird, but then again, my mom didn't find out about me until she was 5mos along. Drank 2 whole pots of STRONG coffee the entire time too.

She did have really irregular periods, never ever got morning sickness, etc. I was born at term 6lbs even, so small. It's actually really funny how she found out. She and my dad went to the gynecologist due to her irregular periods, since they wanted children in the future and wanted to make sure nothing was seriously wrong. My mom says she regularly went 5mos+ without her period. The doctor was ready to give her some bc pills, but my mom insisted on at least an internal exam, to check everything (yes, she's a control freak). She said the look on his face was priceless. She even remembers his words "Well, miss, you don't need to worry about your fertility. You are 5 mos pregnant!".

I, on the other hand, have moderate morning sickness. It's what made me test this time. There was no way I could have the stomach flu for 2 weeks straight, kwim? And this was before I missed my period too.

I can't imagine going into the third trimester without knowing. I'm a big mama, but seriously, now, at 27ish weeks, I can SEE the baby kicking. By 30 some odd weeks, ds, who was born just shy of 5lbs (I hit 228lbs and am 5'3'' by then) would literally shift my stomach around. Really hard to ignore.

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#15 of 41 Old 06-24-2010, 05:44 PM
 
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My mom found out with me at 3 months... she said in March she had gone to the doctor about her missing periods (and I was her second kid, wtf! shouldnt she have known?) and the doctor told her she should expect me about September 4th (just by feeling her uterus! I wish I had that doctor lol)

That happens to be my birthday

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#16 of 41 Old 06-24-2010, 09:12 PM
 
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I have a friend who just 3 weeks ago had her baby in a restaurant bathroom. It was her 3rd birth, a vbac, but had also had a vaginal birth. She intended a homebirth. She thought it was a bowel movement too! At a restaurant for lunch with her husband.

My cousin was pg and didn't know. I saw her at a family function when she was 34 weeks and had no idea she was pg either. She found out a week later...so I guess she knew before the baby arrived, but only by a few weeks. Now that side of the family gets 2 or 3 periods a year, and she's a bigger girl...I'm amazed by the ones on that show who are really thin and birth 8lbers! Crazy.

Emily: Homebirthin' mama to 3 boys and a girl.
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#17 of 41 Old 06-24-2010, 09:57 PM
 
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I'd be happy to have a baby that way someday...

Probably not happening. I know I'm pg a week before I can test. All 4 times. I just know.

"If you keep doing the same things you've always done, you'll keep getting the same results you've always gotten."

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#18 of 41 Old 06-24-2010, 10:04 PM
 
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I always thouht how could not know until we knew someone who this happened too. She was a co-worker of DH, now I saw her may a wk before hand at a company picnic and let me tell you I still dont see how anyone would have thought that 125ish lb lady was 9 months pg!!! DH came home one day saying that the ambulance had to pick her up because of severe pain and everyone thought it was her appendix...ummm nope it was a 7lb baby!!! Everyone was shocked the next day at work to say the least.

Me on the other hand I know this cant happen because I get soooooo sick with hyperemesis within days of getting pg usually before a test tells me.
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#19 of 41 Old 06-24-2010, 10:07 PM
 
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I always thouht how could not know until we knew someone who this happened too. She was a co-worker of DH, now I saw her may a wk before hand at a company picnic and let me tell you I still dont see how anyone would have thought that 125ish lb lady was 9 months pg!!! DH came home one day saying that the ambulance had to pick her up because of severe pain and everyone thought it was her appendix...ummm nope it was a 7lb baby!!! Everyone was shocked the next day at work to say the least.
That just blows my mind. Wow.

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#20 of 41 Old 06-24-2010, 10:25 PM
 
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It is so weird! I might have to start watching it... wish Hulu would grab it up!

"A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bank balance smaller, home happier, clothes dirty, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for." ~A.U.
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#21 of 41 Old 06-25-2010, 12:22 AM
 
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My mom didn't know with both me and my sister until she was in labor.She was in college when she had me and was home for Spring break.My grandmother ( who was a nurse and worked in L&D so would have known what a pregnant mama looks like) said my mom came out of the bathroom asking what the heck was wrong and her water had broken with lots of meconium.I was a scary delivery.With my sister I remember, since I was 8 years old and she never showed at all.One of our Aunts was visiting and shared a bed with her and never noticed either.It was another shock.My mom was also in the Navy and they test women before transfers and it never came up + and she had a period the whole time.
I am also a mama who doesn't know, at least at first.My first I thought I had the flu and it was just really kicking my butt.Then I started having the most horrid pain in my breasts and thought that was crazy but after 3 weeks of flu I finally figured I should take a test.I was on BCP and had my period until 5 months.I do get huge at the end even though I only gain 20 lbs, so I can't go all the way to D day. My 2nd I was TTC so I knew right away and I was horridly sick too.My 3rd I had been testing cuz I wanted to make sure I could have fun at the block party.
My fourth baby I didn't know until I was 19 and a half weeks.We had moved cross country and I was staying with my mom and I was doing so much driving here and there and taking care of the kids and everything else that I never noticed.I also thought that finally tandem nursing was working for me since usually my period starts up right way.I never got sick and I usually have HG during my pregnancies.I do remember movement but I put it off as phantom movement.The day that I went in to find out the due date, was the first day I couldn't fasten my pants, usually I'm out of normal clothes by 8 weeks.I felt so foolish at that checkup since the Dr took one look at my belly and guesstimated right away how far along I was.I still feel all kinds of embarrassed at not knowing by #4.It wouldn't have been hidden for long since I really popped out after 20 weeks.
I now test every month just in case since hormonal BC doesn't work for me.I really wish I knew why I didn't get sick last time because my body is sure making up for it this time.

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#22 of 41 Old 06-25-2010, 01:57 PM
 
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i think if it's just totally not on your radar, it is completely possible that you wouldn't know. my dh and i never used any sort of birth control up until right before i got pregnant. i did not want to have a baby while he is gone (he's navy) so we were preventing, though admittedly not with the most reliable method. with all of my other kids, i've just known. i've taken a test, but it's never been a surprise when i get a positive or a negative. this time, i was super sick (as usual) for a couple of weeks before it occured to me that i might be pregnant. i even told my dh that i thought something might be really wrong with me. the thought honestly never crossed my mind until my 5yo put his hand on my belly and told me i had a baby in there. i laughed for a minute but then got to thinking about when my period should have been. after i found out i was pregnant it all made sense, the throwing up, tiredness, coffee tasting terrible, crying at the drop of a hat, all classic pregnancy symptoms but it just never crossed my mind. if my 5yo hadn't said anything, i probably would have gone to the doctor, but just because i was so sick. if i hadn't been sick who knows what would have happened?

as for showing, i've been big and round with all but my first, but with #4 we didn't tell anyone until i was past 20 weeks, i think i told my parents in july and she was born in october, so i was pretty pregnant. they were the last ones to know and i did not look pregnant until after the secret was out, when suddenly i looked like i was about to pop. so i can definitely see not showing, too.
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#23 of 41 Old 06-25-2010, 02:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'd be happy to have a baby that way someday...

Probably not happening. I know I'm pg a week before I can test. All 4 times. I just know.
I am really glad I know, so I hope I'm not jinxing myself here, but I wish that, too! Thinking of going this whole time without peeing constantly, feeling restless in any sleeping position, feeling exhausting, being sick, having heartburn, fitting into my regular clothes...oh that seems dreamy. Also, to be able to go to an amusement park or out to lunch or on a picnic when you're full term: NICE.

I don't know about y'all, but I have to say that being pregnant has definitely NOT been my favorite. I love my babe and know he'll be worth it, but Lord have Mercy! I will be so ready for it to be over...and not in a restaurant bathroom!

Mary, proud to be a mama to Andrew (9/14/10) and Caroline (7/27/13) and wife to Matt.
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#24 of 41 Old 06-25-2010, 02:39 PM
 
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I am really glad I know, so I hope I'm not jinxing myself here, but I wish that, too! Thinking of going this whole time without peeing constantly, feeling restless in any sleeping position, feeling exhausting, being sick, having heartburn, fitting into my regular clothes...oh that seems dreamy. Also, to be able to go to an amusement park or out to lunch or on a picnic when you're full term: NICE.

I don't know about y'all, but I have to say that being pregnant has definitely NOT been my favorite. I love my babe and know he'll be worth it, but Lord have Mercy! I will be so ready for it to be over...and not in a restaurant bathroom!
Maybe it's a boy thing.

With my first I was this dreamy glowing pregnant chick who felt awesome all the time.

This time, pretty much what you said.

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#25 of 41 Old 06-27-2010, 04:48 PM
 
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All of this really has to make you wonder why women dread the 'pain' of birth so much, especially when it's just early labor. Now, I know early labor can very well be excruciating, but these women sometimes make it past transition and through pushing without knowing what is going on. Makes you think that the 'fear of pain' and the 'fear of birth' actually has a HUGE impact on how women truly perceive birth to be so psychologically they think it's going to be hell, so it is, even after the first contraction.

Me, no, I knew I was preg, big belly, nausea, sleep issues, heartburn, contrax, baby kicks, etc. Same thing with this one too. So for me, no, I don't see not knowing as reality for me. But it'd be nice to hold on to the fact that birth doesn't have to be as crazy out of this world painful as what is usually pushed on us through society.

Personally, I think that if I was having contrax and birthing a baby and NOT knowing that I WAS birthing a baby, would be scarier than anything and would there fore cause MORE pain, but maybe it's the 'over-education-of false-education' that causes us to produce more adrenaline and make birth harder?

Curious on thoughts.....
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#26 of 41 Old 06-27-2010, 05:14 PM
 
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I have IBS and I must tell you... some of my attacks are very comparable to or even WORSE than even transition was for me.

Perhaps I'm blessed to have easy labors, perhaps I'm cursed to have painful IBS... but if I don't get an epidural or drugged up every time I have to go potty... I don't personally see the point of it in childbirth?

Anyway, my point is... some of my IBS attacks have felt EXTREMELY like childbirth (which scares the pee out of you when you are 6 months along and going through one) so I totally see how they wouldn't know it was labor if they didn't know they were pregnant. Which is also how I understand why so many surprise babies happen in bathrooms! Even hospital bathrooms... but really, even in labor you hear all the time from women saying the most comfortable spot for them was on the toilet!

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#27 of 41 Old 06-27-2010, 08:00 PM
 
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Well, a few women went to the bathroom. And like Maeryn, I have flare ups that are extremely painful, especially is there's any dairy involved.

Most of them though went to the hospital thinking something was seriously wrong with the amount of pain they were in, so I wouldn't chalk up all the pain of childbirth with expectations.

That said, labor pains are pretty manageable. They come in waves and they are productive. For me, it's similar to running. There are painful parts to it but I'm making progress, so it's not for nothing. Unlike, say, a migraine. Which is so not productive.

I didn't get an epi with ds1, but I didn't realize I was in labor until I was in transition, and there's no way I could have stood still long enough for any pain relief (and I was at home). With ds2 I got an epi at 10hrs of pitocin induced labor (due to pre-e). Pitocin is horrible. You feel like you are in transition waaaaaaaay before you really are. I never got completely numb though--it just took the edge off. And only numbed my left leg completely.

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#28 of 41 Old 06-28-2010, 02:20 AM
 
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Maybe it's a boy thing.

With my first I was this dreamy glowing pregnant chick who felt awesome all the time.

This time, pretty much what you said.
I think you're on to something! My first pregnancy with my son was miserable - i was in maternity clothes by 8 weeks, I threw up multiple times a day from 7 weeks right to 36-37 weeks and I could barely walk with the way he crushed my pelvis.

This time I'm having a girl - I climbed a mountain 2 weeks ago including a scramble to the top and I was still wearing my (one size up) non-maternity jeans yesterday.

XM,: mama to ds (5/08), dd (9/10) and ds (6/12) ! whale.gif :C.H.S & M.

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#29 of 41 Old 06-28-2010, 09:17 AM
 
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I dunno. I seem to be the opposite with girls and boys. I feel pretty good this pregnancy, and both girl pregnancies just wiped me out. My son's wasn't a big deal. I tilled our garden with a shovel at 8 months pregnant with him...

So, I think this baby is boy because I feel good.

"If you keep doing the same things you've always done, you'll keep getting the same results you've always gotten."

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#30 of 41 Old 07-06-2010, 02:17 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by luv-my-boys View Post
I always thouht how could not know until we knew someone who this happened too. She was a co-worker of DH, now I saw her may a wk before hand at a company picnic and let me tell you I still dont see how anyone would have thought that 125ish lb lady was 9 months pg!!! DH came home one day saying that the ambulance had to pick her up because of severe pain and everyone thought it was her appendix...ummm nope it was a 7lb baby!!! Everyone was shocked the next day at work to say the least.

Me on the other hand I know this cant happen because I get soooooo sick with hyperemesis within days of getting pg usually before a test tells me.
I get hyperemesis, too, and therefore I watch this show pea green with envy the entire time. I can barely function while pg and they're barely affected .
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