TLC- Family of 15 Kids -WOW!!!!! - Page 6 - Mothering Forums
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#151 of 176 Old 10-12-2005, 10:48 PM
 
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Everything is wrong here.

Her dh is a southern white guy --named Jim Bob?!? that's out of Southern Ignoramus Central Casting. And he wants to run for the Senate?! Please.

The kids have chores and help. They are doing things that actually matter to their family.

Real work Vs hanging out at the mall? That's no life for an American child.

They are religious.

And worst of all

They are Christian.

Does anyone see a reason they should *not* be ridiculed.

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#152 of 176 Old 10-12-2005, 11:18 PM
 
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Originally Posted by polka123
what the flip.... who cares. Last time I checked, US women have the right to do what they want with their bodies.
But the women in that family have NO rights.

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#153 of 176 Old 10-12-2005, 11:34 PM
 
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Originally Posted by chersolly
But the women in that family have NO rights.


And you are sure of this because....?

This family's biggest problem is that they 'came out' to media.

There are plenty of large and relgious families. Orthodox Jews and religious Mulsims, some Catholics etc., often have very large families, but you just might not hear about them.

How can anyone say that a religious family is less free than a family born in mainstream culture--that is those imprisoned by the tiny boxes of what it means to be the perfect middle class citizen with 1.2 kids?

Religious Muslims raise their kids in religious Muslim homes, Orthodox Jews raise their kids in Orthodox Jewish homes, and this family raises their children as conservative Christians.

Unless any of these folkds are chaining their children to the bedposts for all time, they are free to teach their children what they believe, and their children can choose to accept these beliefs as adults, or not.

Just as *all* of us have choosen.

Just because these teen kids are doing laundry and helping their little siblings instead of going to see Britney Spears in Concert, or drinking to excess at parties where no parents dwell, doesn't mean their lives are without meaning.
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#154 of 176 Old 10-13-2005, 12:11 AM
 
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I'm not sure it this has been said before in this super long thread but here goes. My only issue is that in this day and age, NO ONE needs to have 15 children. There are so many children in foster care, I mean thousands of children, who need a home. Why keep bringing more children into the world when there are already children here who need someone to love and care for them. This is just my humble opinion and not meant to pass judgment but . . . I wish they would have adopted 5 when they had their 10 already. To me, in my own personal opinion, it seems a little selfish in this day and age to just keep having children and taxing the Earth especially when there are so many "unwanted" children already here.

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#155 of 176 Old 10-13-2005, 12:14 AM
 
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Originally Posted by rootzdawta
I'm not sure it this has been said before in this super long thread but here goes. My only issue is that in this day and age, NO ONE needs to have 15 children. There are so many children in foster care, I mean thousands of children, who need a home. Why keep bringing more children into the world when there are already children here who need someone to love and care for them. This is just my humble opinion and not meant to pass judgment but . . . I wish they would have adopted 5 when they had their 10 already. To me, in my own personal opinion, it seems a little selfish in this day and age to just keep having children and taxing the Earth especially when there are so many "unwanted" children already here.
Yes, but your opinion applies only to yourself, and not to someone else's body. It is judgemental when we try to place limits on how many children another woman "should" have. By your standards, no one "needs" to even have one child, and I am probably way over your limit with my three. Whether you mean to or now, you are passing judgement.

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#156 of 176 Old 10-13-2005, 12:19 AM
 
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No . . . I knew someone would misunderstand what I am saying. It's a blessing to have children, indeed. Most people want their own children. But at the same time, I feel, in my humble again, that if their hearts were so open to have 15 kids, somewhere in the mix, they could have adopted a few. I don't know what their motivation was to have the 15 kids but they seem to be a stable and loving family . . . they could have some adopted kids in the mix is all I'm saying.

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#157 of 176 Old 10-13-2005, 12:21 AM
 
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Originally Posted by rootzdawta
they could have some adopted kids in the mix is all I'm saying.
But they didn't.

I think there are lots of things here to discuss- the roles of girls in the family, if there is any religious oppression, things like that. But whether or not a woman in American has the right to have as many or as few children as she chooses? I don't understand why that's even an issue. Of course you have the right to your opinion, but I really disagree with it.

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#158 of 176 Old 10-13-2005, 12:22 AM
 
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I didn't say she didn't have the right to have as many kids as she wants. She could have 83 for all I care. I think it's just a little socially irresponsible to do that in this day and age.

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#159 of 176 Old 10-13-2005, 12:27 AM
 
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Originally Posted by rootzdawta
I didn't say she didn't have the right to have as many kids as she wants. She could have 83 for all I care. I think it's just a little socially irresponsible to do that in this day and age.

few people have 16 kids. But we can't make it against the law. and no amount of your angst is going to help anyone.

It's not your right, or anyone else's to determine how many children a woman should have. whether we like it or not.

Unless you want government in your bed and body, you're going to have to put up with the rare woman in western society who has 16 kids.
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#160 of 176 Old 10-13-2005, 12:47 AM
 
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Originally Posted by rootzdawta
I didn't say she didn't have the right to have as many kids as she wants. She could have 83 for all I care. I think it's just a little socially irresponsible to do that in this day and age.
That's fine. You're entitled to your opinion. I am glad that everyone with an opinion like that cannot dictate if, when, and how many children women can have.

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#161 of 176 Old 10-13-2005, 06:57 AM
 
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Are you not reading what I wrote? My goodness . . . I didn't say she shouldn't have as many children as she wants. What I'm saying is if they have room enough for 16 kids in their home and in their hearts, they could at least open their doors to one adopted child. What is wrong with that? There are thousands of children in the system, the majority of whom will just age out never having a home or any kind of security. Who is trying to dictate how many children any one can have? Not me. I even said "she can have 83 for all I care." Please don't misinterpret what I wrote and try to get some kind of an understanding of my point.

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#162 of 176 Old 10-13-2005, 07:14 AM
 
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rootzdawta, have you started the adoption process for your next child yet?
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#163 of 176 Old 10-13-2005, 07:17 AM
 
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Want to have 3 and adopt the last one or two. My sister in law has four and adopted the last 3. Maybe because of my experience and where I've been . . . children in the system deserve a home. If you have so much to give, why not give them one? Like I said, my personal opinion. I don't believe that people shouldn't have children. That was never my contention.

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#164 of 176 Old 10-13-2005, 09:34 AM
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I am not against large families. I have eight children of my own. What I take issue with regarding this family is the *Patriarchal* attitude and especially the fact that the older children are doing the bulk of the parenting of the younger children. The burden is disproportionately(sp) placed upon the sholders of the female children.

They follow the teachings of Gothard. Very legalistic, very patriarchal.

The mother breeds and takes care of the newborn babies. It reminds me of social colonies of insects where the queen is waited on and breeds and the siblings take care of all those hundreds of thousands of eggs and nymphs.

Ducking 'cause I know I'm going to get into trouble for this one.

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#165 of 176 Old 10-13-2005, 09:55 AM
 
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<ducking along with DebraBaker>
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#166 of 176 Old 10-14-2005, 02:50 AM
 
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I guess I could say that I haven't seen more than an article on them, thus can't judge. Fine for being patriarchial. I take issue with them being Gothardites. I know Gothard's teachings and some of the issues that have crept up with him over the years. I also know many families as large and really don't see what the big deal is. Should the kids help? Yes. Just the girls? No. Should mom be doing more than nursing, ABSOLUTELY, she's the mom. However, I'm not there, so I don't know what they do or don't do. Buddy system? We used it to a degree...they pair up in a store to hold hands (safety measure) or help the younger find their shoes. But I dress, bathe, feed, and comfort them. Guess I would have to know more about their day to day.

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#167 of 176 Old 10-14-2005, 09:35 AM
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I think it is a shame when a teenaged girl has a baby and is given the responsibility that is daunting even to mature adults. These teenagers are saddled with the day to day care of a young child without even, ahem, doing the deed that normally results in teenaged motherhood.

Children deserve the focused attention of their parents. If you have more children than you can give focused attention perhaps you have had too many children.

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#168 of 176 Old 10-14-2005, 10:04 AM
 
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Originally Posted by DebraBaker
I think it is a shame when a teenaged girl has a baby and is given the responsibility that is daunting even to mature adults. These teenagers are saddled with the day to day care of a young child without even, ahem, doing the deed that normally results in teenaged motherhood.

Children deserve the focused attention of their parents. If you have more children than you can give focused attention perhaps you have had too many children.

Debra Baker

Since the majority of children, teens and younger are ignored totally by their parents (left to cry, plopped in babby buckets, dropped off at the mall, etc etc etc) and don't seem to be thriving any better than what i have seen of this family, I would not dare speculate on what it might mean to teens to have purpose, and be engaged in important work in a family. We seem to think teens like not being needed or not being engaged in real work. I'll reserve judgement on this one.

I 'd have to be convinced that mainstream teens in our cutlure are better off. :LOL
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#169 of 176 Old 10-14-2005, 01:33 PM
 
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Since the majority of children, teens and younger are ignored totally by their parents (left to cry, plopped in babby buckets, dropped off at the mall, etc etc etc) and don't seem to be thriving any better than what i have seen of this family, I would not dare speculate on what it might mean to teens to have purpose, and be engaged in important work in a family. We seem to think teens like not being needed or not being engaged in real work. I'll reserve judgement on this one.

I 'd have to be convinced that mainstream teens in our cutlure are better off. :LOL
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#170 of 176 Old 10-14-2005, 05:52 PM
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I don't think you grasp the full implications of Gothard and Ezzo's teachings. These children are at much greater risk than the average CIO mainstream children or mall rat teenagers.

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#171 of 176 Old 10-14-2005, 06:00 PM
 
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Originally Posted by UUMom
Since the majority of children, teens and younger are ignored totally by their parents (left to cry, plopped in babby buckets, dropped off at the mall, etc etc etc) and don't seem to be thriving any better than what i have seen of this family, I would not dare speculate on what it might mean to teens to have purpose, and be engaged in important work in a family. We seem to think teens like not being needed or not being engaged in real work. I'll reserve judgement on this one.

I 'd have to be convinced that mainstream teens in our cutlure are better off. :LOL
Oh, yes..The girls would be much better off having no responsibility like most teens..Then they can spend their days surfing the internet, chatting with 45 year old creeps and possibly even getting raped or murdered by them..

There are worse things teen girls can be doing with their time than helping take care of little ones..

We're not going to have that many kids b/c we don't think that's right for us..We'd like 4 or 5..But it amazes me how judgemental people can be about this when "The right to choose!" is so important around here..She chose..She had 16 kids..That's her right! Those kids are way better off than most kids in America..

And yes I'm familiar with Ezzo and Gothard's teachings..But the kids are still way better off than most!

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#172 of 176 Old 10-14-2005, 06:07 PM
 
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Oh, yes..The girls would be much better off having no responsibility like most teens..Then they can spend their days surfing the internet, chatting with 45 year old creeps and possibly even getting raped or murdered by them..
Oh come on!

Raped and murdered? Laughable. These girls (The Duggars) are completely isolated and removed from society. They have no friends, no one to confide in. They will be trapped in powerless, abusive relationships, arranged by their father. I'd rather raise a "mall" kid than a daughter who would put up with a life like that.
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#173 of 176 Old 10-14-2005, 06:08 PM
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There is a big difference between healthy work as a family and doing everything to take care of a younger sibling.

These older children are doing everything one of the little ones need throughout the day. Day in and day out 365 days a year. Some of them take care of two siblings.

I can't believe you see nothing wrong with it citing an extreme in the other direction.

If you're going to be a teenaged parent you could at least get to have some tasty sex.

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#174 of 176 Old 10-15-2005, 12:46 AM
 
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#175 of 176 Old 10-15-2005, 01:39 PM
 
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#176 of 176 Old 10-15-2005, 02:26 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Stayseeliz
Oh, yes..The girls would be much better off having no responsibility like most teens..Then they can spend their days surfing the internet, chatting with 45 year old creeps and possibly even getting raped or murdered by them..

There are worse things teen girls can be doing with their time than helping take care of little ones..
i was an only child and, thus, obviously, didn't have the responsiblity to look after any siblings. i can tell you i didn't spend my days chatting on the internet with 45 year old creeps and getting raped and murdered (and, on that note, HOLY BLAME THE VICTIMS, BATMAN!). just because i wasn't forced into servitude by my parents (because, really, this is what it looks like to me, though i'll confess all my knowledge of this family comes from reading about them and not the t.v. show) doesn't mean i somehow grew up stunted and without ability to care for myself or my family.
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