16 children - Page 21 - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#601 of 1903 Old 03-14-2006, 06:39 PM
 
Marsupialmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: St. Louis MO
Posts: 9,500
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by MerryOne
No it's not but cooking for 18 or how much have you everyday is a job, ppl get paid good money to be private chefs

True but most homes don't have a private chef. I will admit I am exception but that is my dh IRL job. You nor your partner gets paid to cook.
Marsupialmom is offline  
#602 of 1903 Old 03-14-2006, 06:40 PM
 
Alana's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,868
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Sooo....back to the show, and the funny comment by the large bearded man. Anyone catch that part>??????
Alana is offline  
#603 of 1903 Old 03-14-2006, 06:40 PM
 
numom499's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: utah
Posts: 1,931
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yooper
Um, actually, yes, 6 yo Billy would be taking part in the discussion and decision. Billy would also be in on the financial information. A child that is used to being respected for thier opinions and questions can understand such ramifications. He might not be happy to move but he can probably decide if he would be even less happy starving to death and living in a box. In my house we do not force anyone to do anything.
REally? What if Billy still didn't want to move...make him 4 years old, so he may be less able to understand the financial ramifications...would you still force him to move.

What about the whole not eating? What if your 8 year old no longer wanted to eat? Anything. Would you allow her to wither away and die?
numom499 is offline  
#604 of 1903 Old 03-14-2006, 06:41 PM
 
AngelBee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: New Brighton, MN
Posts: 20,762
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by MerryOne
hmm we agree on something, cause this whole thread has you and a few others on a site which is set up to support gentle attached parenting, supporting due to religious beliefs, people who choose to spank, who have a buddy system therefore releasing parental obligations of younger siblings to older children in every facet inc education.
I have no issue with her having 25 kids if she wants, but prarade them on tv for the viewing public and financial gain, force your daughters into restrictive gender roles, place you older son's in a position of authority over the females, don't give them a good education (home school or other wise) and boy watch my ears get all blocked up
Where did you get all of this???

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

AngelBee is offline  
#605 of 1903 Old 03-14-2006, 06:42 PM
 
oddeebean's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 441
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
These children do not have simple responsibilities, they are raising their brother or sister. That is not okay. Mom wants 16 kids? Hooray for her, but she raises them and doesn't just pass them off to the older kids. It cannot be possible for them to give each child the individual attention and emotional support that they need. They cannot respond in a meaningful way to each of those children every single day. Its just sad. I'm especially sad for the girls in that family, they cook and clean all day while the boys have slides down to the playroom.
oddeebean is offline  
#606 of 1903 Old 03-14-2006, 06:43 PM
 
numom499's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: utah
Posts: 1,931
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
heres the thing. Since Christian and Conservative are such dirty words on MDC...if the duggars were posting on the living off the grid forum or homeschooling (with no mention of religious or political convictions) about how they live (only the parts we KNOW to be true), ie...the older siblings careing gfor the younger siblings...all of the family members pitching in around the house...I'm sure we would all think its just grand.
numom499 is offline  
#607 of 1903 Old 03-14-2006, 06:45 PM
 
oddeebean's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 441
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
What about the whole not eating? What if your 8 year old no longer wanted to eat? Anything. Would you allow her to wither away and die?
Yes, I'm sure everyone here would let their child wither away and die. Come on. Lets get back to reality here.:
oddeebean is offline  
#608 of 1903 Old 03-14-2006, 06:45 PM
 
nora--not a llama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: (.)(.)UNpop Cleavage(.)(.)
Posts: 3,542
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I would never think that pawning my younger children off on my oldest child is "just grand."
nora--not a llama is offline  
#609 of 1903 Old 03-14-2006, 06:45 PM
 
numom499's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: utah
Posts: 1,931
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
[QUOTE=oddeebean]. Mom wants 16 kids? Hooray for her, but she raises them and doesn't just pass them off to the older kids. QUOTE]


if the parents aren't "Raising" them, then who is telling them what to wear?
numom499 is offline  
#610 of 1903 Old 03-14-2006, 06:45 PM
 
AngelBee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: New Brighton, MN
Posts: 20,762
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by numom499
heres the thing. Since Christian and Conservative are such dirty words on MDC...if the duggars were posting on the living off the grid forum or homeschooling (with no mention of religious or political convictions) about how they live (only the parts we KNOW to be true), ie...the older siblings careing gfor the younger siblings...all of the family members pitching in around the house...I'm sure we would all think its just grand.

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

AngelBee is offline  
#611 of 1903 Old 03-14-2006, 06:46 PM
 
Yooper's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 3,615
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by numom499
REally? What if Billy still didn't want to move...make him 4 years old, so he may be less able to understand the financial ramifications...would you still force him to move.

What about the whole not eating? What if your 8 year old no longer wanted to eat? Anything. Would you allow her to wither away and die?
I am wondering exactly what you would do with an 8 yo that refuses to eat? I am pretty sure I could not force anyone to eat that didn't want to. What I could do is help dd to investigate health problems, make her very favorite foods, ask her to help or make her favorite foods, take her to a restaurant..... I mean I find this sort of silly. My dd refuses to eat sometimes and no I do not force her too. She eventually decides to eat or she lets me know that she is sick (usually by vomitting).....

I really do not want to see this drift into a consentual living thread because those can get ugly. But thus far, no I have not purposely forced my dd to do anything she did not want to and it is remarkably not a big deal. We look strangly normal but we do not make her eat, sleep, use the potty, etc..... She always wants to do those things eventually.

I am sure little billy can be made to understand the circumstances on his level no matter what age. How I would approach it depends on the age, the circumstances, and the factors surrounding dd's concerns.
Yooper is offline  
#612 of 1903 Old 03-14-2006, 06:48 PM
 
Kaitnbugsmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Indiana
Posts: 2,997
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by DebraBaker
What are they doing wrong?

First, they hit their children.

Second, they are Patriarchal, they are forcing their daughters to be servile to their sons.

Third, they push the day-to-day parenting of their children onto the older children. This is harmful to the little ones who are not getting their parent's attention and harmful to the older children who are enduring the burdeon of parenting someone else's children.

Fourth, they are Gothardites, they are under a lot of legalistic teachings. This emcompases an entire thread of its own.

Debra Baker
Thanks db for putting my thoughts into much more civil words than I could right now..
Kaitnbugsmom is offline  
#613 of 1903 Old 03-14-2006, 06:48 PM
 
oddeebean's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 441
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Has anyone ever read Margaret Atwood's book The Handmaid's Tale? Because this discussion is seriously frightening me.

And for that matter, why on earth did they allow an 8 year old to run a gas line? An 8 year old child.
oddeebean is offline  
#614 of 1903 Old 03-14-2006, 06:50 PM
 
numom499's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: utah
Posts: 1,931
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I sure hope all of you who allow your dc to make EVERY choice are not the ones who were defending baby ear piercing...
numom499 is offline  
#615 of 1903 Old 03-14-2006, 06:52 PM
 
Kaitnbugsmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Indiana
Posts: 2,997
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by MerryOne
Amm no it's not coming from the back ground of a modest dressing religion, I can tell you that it's not a mindset and there's NO pastor/priest/preacher/or any leadership member of a church that will tell you so.
Modest dress is spiritual yes, but it most certainly is a outward covering of the body, covering that which is supposed to be for your husband eye's only.
You would be laughed out of plenty a church if you told someone, that modestly dressing was a mind set
including all four of the catholic churches within a forty minute drive of my house.. two of them would excommunicate you for 1- running a dance studio because they forbid modern dance and all forms of public displays of flesh of any sort, and 2- for the pictures posted on your site, because of the amount of flesh shown... and 3rd- {and this especially applies to the one that is considered the least fundy, strangely enough} because you have a website and children, as the web is the devil's newest tool for seperating families and turning people from the work of God's people...
Kaitnbugsmom is offline  
#616 of 1903 Old 03-14-2006, 06:54 PM
 
Yooper's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 3,615
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by numom499
I sure hope all of you who allow your dc to make EVERY choice are not the ones who were defending baby ear piercing...
I would not pierce my dd's ears unless she asked to have them pierced. Ironically she has been asking. I am arranging for her to watch someone else get thier ears pierced by needle at the local tattoo/piercing studio so that she can make an informed choice.
Yooper is offline  
#617 of 1903 Old 03-14-2006, 06:55 PM
 
flyingspaghettimama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Posts: 4,671
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by numom499
heres the thing. Since Christian and Conservative are such dirty words on MDC...if the duggars were posting on the living off the grid forum or homeschooling (with no mention of religious or political convictions) about how they live (only the parts we KNOW to be true), ie...the older siblings careing gfor the younger siblings...all of the family members pitching in around the house...I'm sure we would all think its just grand.
Nope. They could have been fascist atheists, and I'd still feel the same. It is just wrong to spank kids, put them on a blanket, and force your children into isolationist servitude while servin' up the younguns. Maybe you think it's grand, but I don't.

FWIW, my parents WERE fascist atheists and pretty much followed the same line as this family. Girls did indoor work, boys did outdoor work. Spankings galore! Playpen time! Isolationist homeschool! So many kids! I cried when my mom told me she was having another, because I knew more dirty diapers and less playdates. You know what, that really sucks to do to your kids. Justify it however you wish, but children are not better off for changing diapers instead of playing.

That's why it creeps me out, not because they are Christians. Or politicians. Or have really, really bad hair. It's because if they were gonna be crappy parents who didn't enjoy children being children, they should have stopped long ago.
flyingspaghettimama is offline  
#618 of 1903 Old 03-14-2006, 06:55 PM
 
redwolf2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: anxiously awaiting autumn
Posts: 676
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by MerryOne
They can't send 17 or how many they have to college, they can't help fund dreams, in the last show they were grooming their oldest to marry the daughter of a friend!!!
So wrong!
Being a good parent is not about funding our children. My parent's couldn't pay for me to go to college, does that mean they shouldn't have had me?

I am not supportive of this family but I couldn't let this statement get away.

namaste
redwolf2 is offline  
#619 of 1903 Old 03-14-2006, 06:56 PM
 
Kaitnbugsmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Indiana
Posts: 2,997
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by jkpmomtoboys
Yes, but we're talking about the kids, not the parents. Did the kids choose it?
In order to have truly chosen it, they would have had to have been able to be aware that there are alternatives out there and that choosing those alternatives doesn't *always* mean they are damned or even just less Christian than their parents....
Kaitnbugsmom is offline  
#620 of 1903 Old 03-14-2006, 06:57 PM
 
flyingspaghettimama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Posts: 4,671
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by numom499
I sure hope all of you who allow your dc to make EVERY choice are not the ones who were defending baby ear piercing...
Um, do you have one of those gifted babies that can talk at three months old? Just wondering. I had no idea that babies could ask for ear piercing. I must have one of those non-gifted babies, he also can't ask for formula. He's so behind, apparently!
flyingspaghettimama is offline  
#621 of 1903 Old 03-14-2006, 06:59 PM
 
numom499's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: utah
Posts: 1,931
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by flyingspaghettimama
Um, do you have one of those gifted babies that can talk at three months old? Just wondering. I had no idea that babies could ask for ear piercing. I must have one of those non-gifted babies, he also can't ask for formula. He's so behind, apparently!
So do you think tis okay to make the choice to pierce your babys ears flyingspaggheetiimama????
numom499 is offline  
#622 of 1903 Old 03-14-2006, 06:59 PM
 
Selesai's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Keeping it all together
Posts: 1,725
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Needless to say, I had to skip from page 19 to page 27 in order to actually read this thread. I do have a few things to say.
First, I don't understand why people who, on page 3 of this thread, decided it was too judgmental for them have persisted in participating in it, constantly chastizing others for those judgments. If you don't like a thread, then leave it! If you think it's seriously flawed, report it! Otherwise, continuing to discuss the judgments in this thread is really very useless and circular.
I also don't believe in being "judgmental" of others-- but I am, because I'm flawed. (And I KNOW I coudl do a much better job. That's my own personal thing.) I am not so sure that people on this thread are really criticizing the Duggers, they're criticizing what they see of the Duggers, and because this family chose to put themselves on national television numerous times, I think it's fair for people to develop opinions on them and to discuss those opinions.

Secondly, this notion of "training" children. I think the term is being misused. There is a difference between indoctrinating children by forcing them / requiring of them certain behaviors and beliefs and by training them to THINK and make their own decisions once they become adults. Certain things certainly children will be "trained" about and will not have complete say over, because they're kids. So, I may consult my SS about a chore chart, but if he doesn't like it, that doesn't mean I won't do it. I will respect his opinion, but parents are still authoritative figures.
I will "train" my children by teaching them about my own beliefs and by exposing them to others' beliefs. They, once they become adults, will be free to make their own decisions, to THINK THROUGH what they feel is best for them and what they really believe. I will be sad if they don't agree with my beliefs, but I will accept my children still.
This is not the same "training" as some groups and individuals practice, where dissimilar beliefs or paths are discouraged and those who hold them are shunned.
In my view, this is the distinction other posters are trying to make, and I think it's a reasonable one.

Thanks for listening.
Selesai is offline  
#623 of 1903 Old 03-14-2006, 07:03 PM
 
Yooper's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 3,615
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by numom499
So do you think tis okay to make the choice to pierce your babys ears flyingspaggheetiimama????
I think her point was that no 3 month old could choose to pierce their ears so no she would not. If it was not her point, it is mine. Now my dd is 2.5 and she can talk and does want to investigate ear piercing.
Yooper is offline  
#624 of 1903 Old 03-14-2006, 07:06 PM
 
yoyo65's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: twin cities,MN
Posts: 440
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
as usual, any thread about The Duggars' turns into a and a: and a .



:

DH DS 1996 DS 2000 We are the Mods! We are the Mods! We are, we are, we are the Mods!
yoyo65 is offline  
#625 of 1903 Old 03-14-2006, 07:06 PM
 
redwolf2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: anxiously awaiting autumn
Posts: 676
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
pierce your babys ears flyingspaggheetiimama????[/QUOTE]


Did I miss something?

Where did baby ear peircing come into the conversation?
redwolf2 is offline  
#626 of 1903 Old 03-14-2006, 07:06 PM
 
flyingspaghettimama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Posts: 4,671
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Selesai
\\
First, I don't understand why people who, on page 3 of this thread, decided it was too judgmental for them have persisted in participating in it, constantly chastizing others for those judgments. If you don't like a thread, then leave it!
And Selesai brings it home.

I really look forward to someone here coming onto the ANTM thread and defending Jade. Because we don't really "know" her, how can we judge her ridiculous antics and lowbrow clothing choices? Because fuschia does not match pink, hello?!
flyingspaghettimama is offline  
#627 of 1903 Old 03-14-2006, 07:08 PM
 
flyingspaghettimama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Posts: 4,671
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by redwolf2
pierce your babys ears flyingspaggheetiimama???


Did I miss something?

Where did baby ear peircing come into the conversation?
Oh, baby ear piercing ALWAYS comes into the conversation on MDC.

No, I never pierced my son's ears, as he lacks the ability to communicate beyond "gargar." But because he is part pirate, I imagine he'll be asking for one in a few years. Sigh. As long as he doesn't use his father's harpoon.
flyingspaghettimama is offline  
#628 of 1903 Old 03-14-2006, 07:09 PM
 
GoodWillHunter's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Doing something...vague.
Posts: 12,058
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by numom499
heres the thing. Since Christian and Conservative are such dirty words on MDC...if the duggars were posting on the living off the grid forum or homeschooling (with no mention of religious or political convictions) about how they live (only the parts we KNOW to be true), ie...the older siblings careing gfor the younger siblings...all of the family members pitching in around the house...I'm sure we would all think its just grand.

Um, no way in heck would I think it's just grand. There's more than just "pitching in" going on in the Duggar family.

It's one thing to ask my 10 year old to keep an eye on his younger siblings while I take a quick shower/eat/go to the bathroom, it's another to just hand them off to him. He's a CHILD for goodness' sake and with a CHILD'S judgment (or lack thereof). THat is just not okay in my book.
GoodWillHunter is offline  
#629 of 1903 Old 03-14-2006, 07:11 PM
 
redwolf2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: anxiously awaiting autumn
Posts: 676
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by flyingspaghettimama
Oh, baby ear piercing ALWAYS comes into the conversation on MDC.

No, I never pierced my son's ears, as he lacks the ability to communicate beyond "gargar." But because he is part pirate, I imagine he'll be asking for one in a few years. Sigh. As long as he doesn't use his father's harpoon.

:

I've got me a pirate too, argh matie.
redwolf2 is offline  
#630 of 1903 Old 03-14-2006, 07:15 PM
 
julielenore's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Ontario
Posts: 1,161
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
[QUOTE=oddeebean]Has anyone ever read Margaret Atwood's book The Handmaid's Tale? Because this discussion is seriously frightening me.
QUOTE]

OT but I believe that that book is prophetic, I once started a thread in books music and other media on it.
julielenore is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off