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#61 of 1903 Old 03-13-2006, 12:49 PM
 
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Originally Posted by DebraBaker
I have eight children, so I believe I'm particularly sensitive about the typical weaknesses in large families.

Making the older children do too much is one of those things I indentified in large families that I didn't want to do to mine.

Deliberately giving up nursing to allow another child to be conceived that you hand over to an older sibling is odd at best. I know people who have done stuff like this. Difference is, most stop at six or nine, not 16 +. This family is politically well-connected and they get a lot of, ahem, support from their Arkansasian community which, I suppose, gives them more ability to continue begatting and bearing children.

Debra Baker
It is odd to me to wean early, but I am excited that she is breastfeeding all of those babies.

DB....I didn't know that you had 8 children. I will be following you around and taking notes! :

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#62 of 1903 Old 03-13-2006, 12:55 PM
 
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Originally Posted by redwolf2
That has been in practice for centuries. Children work on the farm, cook, clean, wash clothes, milk the cows, harvest.
This is what we have our children "pretend play" what's wrong with them actually doing it?
I totally agree.

Work ethic is being lost in todays society. Everyone wants high pay with little work. How prideful.

You should work to contribute to a greater good, help your neighbor, supply for your family.

Love of work needs to start with children. Otherwise they will never learn to appreciate a job well done, earning a living, and working as a team. Only the selfish attitude of "What will YOU give ME if I do this work?" I think that attitude is a dangerous one to have. It will not serve our children as they mature into adults. There is a season for everything~both work and play.

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#63 of 1903 Old 03-13-2006, 12:57 PM
 
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Originally Posted by redwolf2
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Originally Posted by annettemarie
Lots of things have been in practice for century--spanking, burning children with coals so they stay away from the fireplace, denying education to girls.
I would hardly compare the two. Kids nowadays don't have to do anything, especially in America. Doing house or farm chores can keep them better connected to the roots of human existence and the earth. Tending to the garden and the animals and washing and cooking are wonderful things for kids to do and they usually enjoy it!

Or... I guess she could sit them in front of the TV all day. :
Amen!

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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#64 of 1903 Old 03-13-2006, 12:59 PM
 
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Originally Posted by annettemarie
I don't think anyone has denied this. The problem is that her older children are raising the younger children. Have you read anything about her or her methods? I have, and they sound unpleasantly oppresive, to say the least.
Where did you read about their parenting? I would like to read it as well. I am very intrigued by this family and how they parent.

Though we do not discipline the same, I admire alot about what I have seen about them. I would love to read more.

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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#65 of 1903 Old 03-13-2006, 01:02 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Boobiemama
I watched it. I dont know how you can be that organized with that amount of people. And they didnt say how long she nurses the kids(that I heard) but how could she concieve that many in that time frame if she was nursing longer? Yes, I know some people exclusively nurse and get pregnant early on, but for it to happen that many times?
I suppose if that is how her body works, it could happen several times.

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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#66 of 1903 Old 03-13-2006, 01:04 PM
 
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Originally Posted by PrettyBird

They can afford everything because they own a lot of real estate. They actually have no debt!
Now THIS I want to learn more about. :

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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#67 of 1903 Old 03-13-2006, 01:07 PM
 
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Originally Posted by AngelBee
Where did you read about their parenting? I would like to read it as well. I am very intrigued by this family and how they parent.

Though we do not discipline the same, I admire alot about what I have seen about them. I would love to read more.
Did you not see their web site where they espouse Ezzo and Gothard? To me, this is a dog poop in the brownie scenario. I don't care if there's only a tiny bit of dog poop, I'm not going to eat the brownie hoping to avoid it, especially when there are plenty of godly families out there that DON'T spank or enforce blanket time.

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#68 of 1903 Old 03-13-2006, 01:17 PM
 
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Originally Posted by No2Circ
No, I think that means that she actually parents that child until he/she is two. Then she hands him/her off to an older child.

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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#69 of 1903 Old 03-13-2006, 01:20 PM
 
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Originally Posted by annettemarie
Did you not see their web site where they espouse Ezzo and Gothard? To me, this is a dog poop in the brownie scenario. I don't care if there's only a tiny bit of dog poop, I'm not going to eat the brownie hoping to avoid it, especially when there are plenty of godly families out there that DON'T spank or enforce blanket time.
I love the dog poop analogy...
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#70 of 1903 Old 03-13-2006, 01:25 PM
 
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Originally Posted by merrick
Does she put American "cheese" or Velveeta on top? If so, yum. I mean, yuck icky how could anyone eat that unhealthy stuff?
If she is buying from Aldies most likely it is real cheese. They do have process cheese food slices and "small" jars of cheese whiz and dip but IMO those wouldn't seem to be practical to buy when you compare the prices of real cheese there.
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#71 of 1903 Old 03-13-2006, 01:30 PM
 
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Originally Posted by annettemarie
Did you not see their web site where they espouse Ezzo and Gothard? To me, this is a dog poop in the brownie scenario. I don't care if there's only a tiny bit of dog poop, I'm not going to eat the brownie hoping to avoid it, especially when there are plenty of godly families out there that DON'T spank or enforce blanket time.
Spanking bothers me.

Blanket time does not.

I have never personally read Gothard or Ezzo, so I can not fully comment on that.

I still think they are a beautiful family and alot can be learned from them.

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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#72 of 1903 Old 03-13-2006, 01:39 PM
 
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Do you know what blanket time is, AngelBee? It is a developmentally inappropriate child training technique that involves spanking a child. I don't understand how can you be against spanking but for blanket time. I realize that some parents might, for whatever reason, try blanket time without the spanking, but I don't think a family who confesses to follow the Ezzo's is one of those families.

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#73 of 1903 Old 03-13-2006, 01:43 PM
 
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I saw that special. They have 17 now. When #16 was 8 months old, she got pregnant again. On Saturday night, they showed how they finally got into their new house. They built it themselves. It took 3 years. I feel asleep so I missed the middle part of the show. All the kids helped, even the little ones.
I have an 8 year old that I can't even get to clean up her room let alone help me build a home. All the kids had their own power tools.I also have a 7 month old and I can't imagine getting pregnant again now. I barely sleep as it is...lol.
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#74 of 1903 Old 03-13-2006, 01:43 PM
 
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Originally Posted by annettemarie
Do you know what blanket time is, AngelBee? You do realize it is a developmentally inappropriate child training technique that involves spanking a child? How can you be against spanking but for blanket time? I realize that some parents might, for whatever reason, try blanket time without the spanking, but I don't think a family who confesses to follow the Ezzo's is one of those families.
Blanket time without the spank through consistantly placing them back on the blanket.

I do this with my children is similar ways. They come to the dance academy with me nearly everytime that I teach. I do expect them to play in a certain area, sit on my lap, or be worn on my back. This is mandetory. There is not an option. I train them accordingly so that they know this is what I expect.


Do I spank? NO F###### way!

Do I still hold them accountable to fulfill certain expectations. YES.

Otherwise it would be impossible for my to instruct, run a business, and have them by my side.

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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#75 of 1903 Old 03-13-2006, 01:44 PM
 
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An Ezzo representative answering a question on blanket time:
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Parent-
“My eight-month-old Bethany gained so many new things the past couple of weeks all at once…The problem is that now she only wants to be walking around with someone (anyone’s) fingers, or standing up against something to hold onto. Blanket time (Ezzo believes babies should be taught to stay on blankets and not crawl off them for periods of time every day) has been a nightmare because as soon as you stop walking with her and sit her down she swings herself backwards onto her back and cries…We have swatted her and told her we don’t act that way, but it doesn’t seem to help…Its like she only wants to be up and about. Any suggestions?”

Response from “Contact Mom” -
(Contact Moms are trained using the Ezzo method):
“Sounds familiar to me. Our first daughter did something like that…Isolation is probably the best bet at her age (squeezing the hand works too), actual swats are usually reserved for 15 months and up. You might try isolation, it may take several times per incident to get through to her.”
Swats, squeezing, and isolation. How Christian.

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#76 of 1903 Old 03-13-2006, 01:47 PM
 
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Originally Posted by annettemarie

Swats, squeezing, and isolation. How Christian.
I agree.

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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#77 of 1903 Old 03-13-2006, 01:49 PM
 
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I've read some stuff about this family on here before and I definitely agree with Annettemarie et al. I also remember something about a strict gender division of labour, with girls fulfilling certain tasks and boys others. Does anyone else remember this?
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#78 of 1903 Old 03-13-2006, 01:50 PM
 
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Originally Posted by AngelBee
Blanket time without the spank through consistantly placing them back on the blanket.

I do this with my children is similar ways. They come to the dance academy with me nearly everytime that I teach. I do expect them to play in a certain area, sit on my lap, or be worn on my back. This is mandetory. There is not an option. I train them accordingly so that they know this is what I expect.


Do I spank? NO F###### way!

Do I still hold them accountable to fulfill certain expectations. YES.

Otherwise it would be impossible for my to instruct, run a business, and have them by my side.
What age are you talking about, AngelBee? Infants? Toddlers? Preschoolers?

Because frankly, training a baby or a young toddler to sit on a blanket for long amounts of time goes against the God-given nature of a baby or young toddler, and I think it stinks. Babies are babies for a short amount of time, and sometimes we have to be creative in finding solutions that work for everyone, but I don't think the one who should have to bend their will should be the tiny little person who doesn't understand.

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#79 of 1903 Old 03-13-2006, 02:04 PM
 
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#80 of 1903 Old 03-13-2006, 02:05 PM
 
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Originally Posted by annettemarie
What age are you talking about, AngelBee? Infants? Toddlers? Preschoolers?

Because frankly, training a baby or a young toddler to sit on a blanket for long amounts of time goes against the God-given nature of a baby or young toddler, and I think it stinks. Babies are babies for a short amount of time, and sometimes we have to be creative in finding solutions that work for everyone, but I don't think the one who should have to bend their will should be the tiny little person who doesn't understand.
No more than 30 mins at a time in one spot.

Example: I will wear Angelo for 30 mins on my back, take him down and he colors near my sterio system, then he will eat/snack or nurse for 30 mins, then 30 mins in back room (like a walk in closet right next to where I teach with the door open) to play toys with bro, sis, or dance kids.

Obviously if he is sick, overtired, teething....this doesn't happen. Also I allow him to dictate what events happen in which order, but I do expect about 30 mins at that thing. I would never be able to instruct otherwise.

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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#81 of 1903 Old 03-13-2006, 02:07 PM
 
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Originally Posted by tammrat
I saw that special. They have 17 now. When #16 was 8 months old, she got pregnant again.
Are you sure? She had her 16th this fall. So the youngest would be just 5 months old.
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#82 of 1903 Old 03-13-2006, 02:08 PM
 
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double post
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#83 of 1903 Old 03-13-2006, 02:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I've read some stuff about this family on here before and I definitely agree with Annettemarie et al. I also remember something about a strict gender division of labour, with girls fulfilling certain tasks and boys others. Does anyone else remember this?
In the shows I've seen, the girls do the majority of the housework. I believe Jill is in charge of the meals (or at least lunch) and Jessa? or maybe Jinger is in charge of the laundry. The other kids help out by cleaning up their own mess, but they are in charge. (read: responsible for making sure it gets done) None of the boys from what I've seen are in charge of anything except for Joshua and John David who are the oldest boys. They spent most of their time helping build the new house. John David's twin however was not (a girl...sorry, don't remember her name) So yes they have very traditional roles of boys do this, girls do this. Oh, just remembered - from the first show I saw one of the boys is in charge of cleaning the boys bathroom.
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#84 of 1903 Old 03-13-2006, 02:19 PM
 
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Originally Posted by sharksmum
I also remember something about a strict gender division of labour, with girls fulfilling certain tasks and boys others. Does anyone else remember this?
It is this way in many homes no days. You just do not hear about it as often.

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#85 of 1903 Old 03-13-2006, 02:40 PM
 
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Maybe the girls actually like cooking and stuff? The whole family did pitch in to fold clothes...even the boys. And the girls had their own drills to help with home building...they also helped lay the radiant heat down too.

Also, as to the stuff that may or may not have been donated. That is also a great cheap way for those companies to advertise their products, and get more business. Its like Extreme Home Makeover...that show is like one big huge commercial.
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#86 of 1903 Old 03-13-2006, 02:44 PM
 
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AngelBee, I think it's great that you take your kids to work with you. I'm just going to take it on faith that you're listening to their cues and not forcing them to stay on a blanket or punishing them for straying off it. Personally, I don't get it, but I can't imagine my kids staying on a blanket for a half-hour unless their was velcro, staples, or super glue involved.

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#87 of 1903 Old 03-13-2006, 02:50 PM
 
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As far as the whole "care free childhood"....my kids are 8 and almost 3. They are very much allowed to be children, but they also are expected to contribute to the household in which they live. My son is responsible for quite a bit. He cleans, he cooks, he does laundry, he spends time caring for his sister. He has animals that he is solely responsible for. My daughter is expected to clean up her messes, to help me do household tasks, ect. All of it is within their ability levels.

My son has friends and cousins his age. I am consistantly amazed at the general lack of responsibility these kids have. Heaven forbid DS's best friend is asked to do something. Its all out war!

I would much rather have my kids be responsible and have expectations placed on them then just skip thru childhood without a care... At what magic age should we start teaching them to take care of their home and family?
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#88 of 1903 Old 03-13-2006, 02:51 PM
 
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I'm confused as to where anyone said that children should have no responsibilities.

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#89 of 1903 Old 03-13-2006, 02:52 PM
 
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Originally Posted by annettemarie
AngelBee, I think it's great that you take your kids to work with you. I'm just going to take it on faith that you're listening to their cues and not forcing them to stay on a blanket or punishing them for straying off it. Personally, I don't get it, but I can't imagine my kids staying on a blanket for a half-hour unless their was velcro, staples, or super glue involved.
I do listen to their cues. I even breastfeed while instructing

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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#90 of 1903 Old 03-13-2006, 02:54 PM
 
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Originally Posted by annettemarie
I'm confused as to where anyone said that children should have no responsibilities.

I didn't say anyone said that...I was just sharing why I felt it wasn't neccesarily 'bad" that the Dugger children did a lot of work and had a lot of responsibility...sorry to confuse you.
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