16 children - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 1903 Old 03-12-2006, 04:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
LIZnCHAD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Iowa
Posts: 147
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I saw a special on TLC last night about a family with 16 children`aged 17 to newborn. I have no idea how on earth the parents are able to remain sane.:

Here is their family website.
http://www.duggarfamily.com/

It's going to be airing again on March 19 at 1:00p
LIZnCHAD is offline  
#2 of 1903 Old 03-12-2006, 04:34 PM
 
Bartock's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 3,883
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My god!!! One 5 year old and a 5 month old baby drives me insane sometimes LOL. But 16? I would be in a nut house after 1 day lol. When my dad was a kid, the neigbor lady had 22 all about a year apart.
Bartock is offline  
#3 of 1903 Old 03-12-2006, 04:41 PM
Banned
 
DebraBaker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: PA
Posts: 5,311
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


This is the family that has the older children parent the younger children.

They're of a punitive parenting mindset and nursing lasts about five months so another child might be conceived.

Not very AP/NFL or GD.

Debra Baker
DebraBaker is offline  
#4 of 1903 Old 03-12-2006, 04:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
LIZnCHAD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Iowa
Posts: 147
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I know! This morning I couldn't get dd t take a nap for anything and she was soooo crabby. I was thinking to myself, what would I do wth 15 other children!?!? Oh and did I mention she homeschools?

ETA - From what I have seen, I wouldn't say that the older children are parents. They definately help out a lot with the younger ones, but they are not the ones disciplining, teaching, setting the guidelines, etc.

Debra - where did you find the info about stopping bfing so early? I hadn't heard that before about them.
LIZnCHAD is offline  
#5 of 1903 Old 03-12-2006, 04:50 PM
 
TinkerBelle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 3,586
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by DebraBaker


This is the family that has the older children parent the younger children.

They're of a punitive parenting mindset and nursing lasts about five months so another child might be conceived.

Not very AP/NFL or GD.

Debra Baker

My husband is one of 12. It is not a bad thing for sibs to help with their younger sibs. That is not "raising" them. I have only 3 and my oldest helps me with getting things for the baby, or watching him for a few minutes while I put clothes in the washer or go to the restroom.

Just because they are not GD or AP, does not mean they are abusive or bad parents. Sure, the spankings are not a good thing, but the kids seemed pretty happy and well-behaved. And not afraid of their parents, either.

Where on the show does it say she only nurses for 5 mos? I must have missed that. At least she does nurse. Some people do not even try.
TinkerBelle is offline  
#6 of 1903 Old 03-12-2006, 04:50 PM
Banned
 
DebraBaker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: PA
Posts: 5,311
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
The point is, she doesn't do these things, *She* doesn't do all the homeschooling.

She has her daughters doing most of the cooking, cleaning, and wash.

They bathe, feed, dress, tuck-in the younger children.

At the risk of being nasty, study the social insects, she is like a queen ant or bee.

DB
DebraBaker is offline  
#7 of 1903 Old 03-12-2006, 04:52 PM
Banned
 
DebraBaker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: PA
Posts: 5,311
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
These kids do much more than a healthy, normal helping out around the house.

They have one (Perhaps some of them two) younger children as "buddies" and they do all the parenting.

Not-healthy.

DB
DebraBaker is offline  
#8 of 1903 Old 03-12-2006, 04:53 PM
 
TinkerBelle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 3,586
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by DebraBaker
The point is, she doesn't do these things, *She* doesn't do all the homeschooling.

She has her daughters doing most of the cooking, cleaning, and wash.

They bathe, feed, dress, tuck-in the younger children.

At the risk of being nasty, study the social insects, she is like a queen ant or bee.

DB

I do not think you are nasty. You have your opinion. I also can see your point about the Queen Bee thing. I have to admit that I find her a bit annoying myself.
TinkerBelle is offline  
#9 of 1903 Old 03-12-2006, 04:58 PM
Banned
 
DebraBaker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: PA
Posts: 5,311
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have eight children, so I believe I'm particularly sensitive about the typical weaknesses in large families.

Making the older children do too much is one of those things I indentified in large families that I didn't want to do to mine.

Deliberately giving up nursing to allow another child to be conceived that you hand over to an older sibling is odd at best. I know people who have done stuff like this. Difference is, most stop at six or nine, not 16 +. This family is politically well-connected and they get a lot of, ahem, support from their Arkansasian community which, I suppose, gives them more ability to continue begatting and bearing children.

Debra Baker
DebraBaker is offline  
#10 of 1903 Old 03-12-2006, 04:58 PM
Banned
 
DebraBaker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: PA
Posts: 5,311
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
*
DebraBaker is offline  
#11 of 1903 Old 03-12-2006, 05:00 PM
 
redwolf2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: anxiously awaiting autumn
Posts: 676
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
That has been in practice for centuries. Children work on the farm, cook, clean, wash clothes, milk the cows, harvest.
This is what we have our children "pretend play" what's wrong with them actually doing it?

I agree...I thought I had a hard time with a 2.5 yo and twin babes. I could not even imagine 16.
redwolf2 is offline  
#12 of 1903 Old 03-12-2006, 05:06 PM
 
annettemarie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: In the Restricted Section
Posts: 41,827
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by redwolf2
That has been in practice for centuries. Children work on the farm, cook, clean, wash clothes, milk the cows, harvest.
This is what we have our children "pretend play" what's wrong with them actually doing it?
Lots of things have been in practice for century--spanking, burning children with coals so they stay away from the fireplace, denying education to girls. I don't think that past practice should in any way be an indicator for present usefulness.

I, as a mother, do these things for my children because I am their mother. If I were doing these things for children to whom I was not directly related, I would certainly expect to be paid. I am all for older children helping out with younger children and household chores, but I think it is more than obvious that this is not what's happening in this family. The older children are being forced to mother the younger children.

Flowers, fairies, gardens, and rainbows-- Seasons of Joy: 10 weeks of crafts, handwork, painting, coloring, circle time, fairy tales, and more!
Check out the blog for family fun, homeschooling, books, simple living, and 6 fabulous children, including twin toddlers

annettemarie is offline  
#13 of 1903 Old 03-12-2006, 05:06 PM
 
redwolf2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: anxiously awaiting autumn
Posts: 676
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Though I do think it was eerily *perfect*. She read 5 or 6 girls a story at bedtime and they just crawled in bed and went to sleep???? yeah right!

What do they do for a living? They had like 6 washers and 6dryers and an entire grocery store sized pantry.
redwolf2 is offline  
#14 of 1903 Old 03-12-2006, 05:16 PM
 
redwolf2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: anxiously awaiting autumn
Posts: 676
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
[QUOTE=annettemarie]Lots of things have been in practice for century--spanking, burning children with coals so they stay away from the fireplace, denying education to girls.

I would hardly compare the two. Kids nowadays don't have to do anything, especially in America. Doing house or farm chores can keep them better connected to the roots of human existence and the earth. Tending to the garden and the animals and washing and cooking are wonderful things for kids to do and they usually enjoy it!

Or... I guess she could sit them in front of the TV all day. :

Though I do think the older children raising the younger ones is a bit odd. But I'm sure she does do some raising of her children they do live in the same house. Older children having SOME responsibility with the younger is not that bad of a thing.
redwolf2 is offline  
#15 of 1903 Old 03-12-2006, 05:25 PM
 
annettemarie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: In the Restricted Section
Posts: 41,827
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by redwolf2
Quote:
Originally Posted by annettemarie
Lots of things have been in practice for century--spanking, burning children with coals so they stay away from the fireplace, denying education to girls.
I would hardly compare the two. Kids nowadays don't have to do anything, especially in America.
That's a generalization. My children are certainly expected to participate in the daily routine around our house.

Quote:
Doing house or farm chores can keep them better connected to the roots of human existence and the earth. Tending to the garden and the animals and washing and cooking are wonderful things for kids to do and they usually enjoy it!
I don't think anyone has denied this. The problem is that her older children are raising the younger children. Have you read anything about her or her methods? I have, and they sound unpleasantly oppresive, to say the least.

Quote:
Though I do think the older children raising the younger ones is a bit odd. But I'm sure she does do some raising of her children they do live in the same house. Older children having SOME responsibility with the younger is not that bad of a thing.
Again, no one is denying that older siblings can help care for younger siblings. This is above and beyond that.

Flowers, fairies, gardens, and rainbows-- Seasons of Joy: 10 weeks of crafts, handwork, painting, coloring, circle time, fairy tales, and more!
Check out the blog for family fun, homeschooling, books, simple living, and 6 fabulous children, including twin toddlers

annettemarie is offline  
#16 of 1903 Old 03-12-2006, 05:48 PM
 
MaryLang's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,653
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
I haven't read everyones response yet, but my dh was one of 14. I think its fine if you take the time and treat each kid with respect, my dh's parents were not supportive of their kids at all. The older kids took care of the enitre family, the mom was NEVER home, always at church and as the kids got jobs they supported the family as the dad could never keep a job. This isn't to say it can't be done properly, I know a few 8-10kid families that keep their priorities striaght. Gotta go, I could go on for pages...

hearts.gifhearts.gifhearts.gifhearts.gifhearts.gif A house full of girls, but for dad and one brother bikenew.gif
"Be careful how you speak to your children. One day it will become their inner voice." ~ Peggy O' Mara
Cloth diapering, babywearing and co-sleeping has been a way of life for almost a decade now partners.gif
MaryLang is offline  
#17 of 1903 Old 03-12-2006, 05:51 PM
 
Irishmommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: In the bat cave with heartmama
Posts: 45,981
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I don't think they are as bad as they are made out to be, but I don't think they are as good as they try to seem.

My butt hurts on this fence!!
Irishmommy is offline  
#18 of 1903 Old 03-12-2006, 05:54 PM
 
annettemarie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: In the Restricted Section
Posts: 41,827
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Irishmommy
I don't think they are as bad as they are made out to be, but I don't think they are as good as they try to seem.

My butt hurts on this fence!!

Flowers, fairies, gardens, and rainbows-- Seasons of Joy: 10 weeks of crafts, handwork, painting, coloring, circle time, fairy tales, and more!
Check out the blog for family fun, homeschooling, books, simple living, and 6 fabulous children, including twin toddlers

annettemarie is offline  
#19 of 1903 Old 03-12-2006, 05:54 PM
 
Boobiemama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Idaho!!!
Posts: 4,075
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I watched it. I dont know how you can be that organized with that amount of people. And they didnt say how long she nurses the kids(that I heard) but how could she concieve that many in that time frame if she was nursing longer? Yes, I know some people exclusively nurse and get pregnant early on, but for it to happen that many times?
Boobiemama is offline  
#20 of 1903 Old 03-12-2006, 06:05 PM
 
SleeplessMommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 5,431
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by redwolf2
......

Or... I guess she could sit them in front of the TV all day. :

...
An interesting web site they have. They say they don't watch TV, just the occasional religious video. It would be nice if they posted pics of their new 7000 sq foot home (under construction in 2004).
SleeplessMommy is offline  
#21 of 1903 Old 03-12-2006, 06:16 PM
 
BookGoddess's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Gryffindor Tower at Hogwarts
Posts: 6,365
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
I opened a thread about Duggars in the television forum.

The new home was shown on TV last night (16 Children And Moving In on one of the cable channels). As one might expect the house is huge. There's a giant bedroom for all the boys and a big bedroom for all the girls. The Duggars had a NY interior designer decorate the place and the result was lovely. The new kitchen has industrial ovens, ranges, dishwasher (it washes dishes in 3 minutes). Their laundry room has 4 washers and dryers. In short, there's a lot of room in the house and yard for the 18 member family.

I wonder how they afford everything.

Normal is just a setting on your dryer.
BookGoddess is offline  
#22 of 1903 Old 03-12-2006, 06:19 PM
 
PrettyBird's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,314
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Irishmommy
I don't think they are as bad as they are made out to be, but I don't think they are as good as they try to seem.

My butt hurts on this fence!!
I agree. There are certain things I disagree with, but they seem to be doing a better job than a lot of parents. And even if she does only nurse for 5 months (although that doesn't seem to be verified), that is still more than most American women.

But I don't think parading them around as the best family on earth is really accurate either.

They can afford everything because they own a lot of real estate. They actually have no debt!
PrettyBird is offline  
#23 of 1903 Old 03-12-2006, 07:30 PM
 
Irishmommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: In the bat cave with heartmama
Posts: 45,981
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I could have conceived 4 weeks post partum after my first, and ten weeks after my second, with full bf on demand. So it is possible, though I know Michelle does wean them about 5-6 months, which, as PB said, is more than most go for.
Irishmommy is offline  
#24 of 1903 Old 03-12-2006, 08:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
LIZnCHAD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Iowa
Posts: 147
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
I don't think they are as bad as they are made out to be, but I don't think they are as good as they try to seem.

My butt hurts on this fence!!
:

I also saw the show "15 kids and pregnant again" or something like that. I'm wondering if she weans them so they can become somebody else's buddy. When explaining the buddy system she said that the newborn is her buddy until it is weaned (although she didn't say when on the show) then one of the older children becomes his/her buddy.

The dad is a realtor. They either get A LOT of help from other people or he is one hell of a realtor in order not to have any debt. Most people can't even go debt free without any children, no less a 7,000 sq ft house.

I'm also positive they didn't pay for the NY designer, 4 brand new sets of washer/dryers, and commercial shelving in their pantry. (dh is in the grocery business, and they are beyond expensive) Although they did say they got the commercial style appliances in their kitchen at an auction for a fraction of the price brand new.
LIZnCHAD is offline  
#25 of 1903 Old 03-12-2006, 08:46 PM
 
Boobiemama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Idaho!!!
Posts: 4,075
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
At the end of the show in the credits it said "thanks to" and listed some manufactuters and stuff, I bet alot of special goodies was donated.
Boobiemama is offline  
#26 of 1903 Old 03-12-2006, 08:55 PM
 
JamesMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Is a PROUD Iowan (finally...)
Posts: 8,167
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by BookGoddess
I wonder how they afford everything.
I heard them talking about their kitchen and how they afforded it. They went to auctions when businesses closed down and bought them there for a fraction of the price. Everything was used, I think they said the washers came from an apartment complex or a school or something.

My aunt and uncle bought a stove and a washer and a dryer from the school in our area last year or the year before. They bought all 3 of those things for the price of just one new washer.

Renae wife to J :, Mama to 4.5y/o J-bird and 2y/o A : and E coming in late Dec/Early Jan. My husband had a living donor kidney transplant! :
JamesMama is offline  
#27 of 1903 Old 03-12-2006, 08:56 PM
 
Montessorimom8's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 131
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by redwolf2
Though I do think it was eerily *perfect*. She read 5 or 6 girls a story at bedtime and they just crawled in bed and went to sleep???? yeah right!

What do they do for a living? They had like 6 washers and 6dryers and an entire grocery store sized pantry.
The nighttime part had to be staged. The girls had their clothes (not pj's or nightgowns on) and that's why they were semi-laughing.

In the credits they listed the washing machine companies, I'm sure a LOT of the things they had were donated in exchange for advertising.

Personally I thought it was pretty interesting...I can't imagine it but then I am no one to judge!!
Montessorimom8 is offline  
#28 of 1903 Old 03-12-2006, 09:30 PM
 
flyingspaghettimama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Posts: 4,671
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I looked at the site - they do "blanket time." With seventeen month olds. http://www.duggarfamily.com/articles...ional-tips.php

Ezzo-ites! Ew, ew, ew. What does anyone wanna bet that this family makes liberal use of the wooden spoon? Why have that many kids if you're not going to let them be kids? I would have enjoyed an actual childhood, myself.

Signed, the oldest of six/"little mama"
Flyingspaghettimama
flyingspaghettimama is offline  
#29 of 1903 Old 03-12-2006, 09:50 PM
 
Alana's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,868
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I enjoyed this one thoroughly. It was funny watching the kids this time..because I think they are more comfortable with the camera. In the shopping trip scene, one of the girls had a foot on 2 different carts and was hanging on. I also thought it was neat that they put a slide from the boys room going into the play room, and the rope ladder. The fact that the whole family worked together on that house is pretty special too, they will always remember that...and did you notice..even the girl's got drills? I dont totally agree with their parenting methods...but they do seem like a family that knows how to work together, compromise, and has fun. I like seeing that.
Alana is offline  
#30 of 1903 Old 03-12-2006, 10:41 PM
 
Lizzo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,445
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I watched this too.
Intense, I don't know how I feel about it/them. I feel like it's not really fair to the kiddos, IMO.
The oldest boy was bornt he same year I was!!
I feel like they miss out on childhood. Who knows though, Ya know?
I guess what got to me was the mother saying "Too many children are like saying there are too many flowers". This struck a Mother Theresa string in me. Children are wonderfull and beautiful, but damnit there are SO SO many unwanted, unloved, uncared for children in this world and they do not deserve that. Not at all. I guess I just don't agree with their mindstate on having children.
And that doesn't mean I am against big families.
Lizzo is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off