Anyone else have issues with FRIENDS? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 38 Old 02-15-2003, 05:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Okay, I know I shouldn't analyze tv shows too much, but watching Friends lately really seems to get under my skin. Mainly the way I've never seen Rachel hold her baby. She was supposedly breastfeeding, yet her baby was always in a carrier or a bassinet, and never held - except for the one time Ross had her in a bjorn (which she was too young for). And a couple weeks ago, she just abandons her to rush back to work, when she still had maternity leave available. And Ross said, "sure, we'll be fine, just leave me your boobs." She just looks at him like he's being difficult. Yesterday, she mentions the formula in the fridge...and the baby is nowhere to be seen. So, I think the baby is all of 5 months now and weaned. What a great example this character is. This just helps to propogate the idea that breastfeeding is very temporary and babies are so convenient that you just stick 'em in a crib w/ a nanny and go about your day. I guess it would kill Rachel's sex appeal if the writers had her actually behaving like a loving mother. grrr What do you gals think?

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#2 of 38 Old 02-15-2003, 05:12 PM
 
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This was the only show I watch on tv besides Will and Grace. But now it SUCKS I've been thinking the same thing as you. I wondered thurs night. Have advertisers forced them to mention formula? She could have said expressed bm. :
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#3 of 38 Old 02-15-2003, 06:15 PM
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It seems like all the shows are like that. Maybe it has something to do with child labor laws and not being able to have young babies on the set for very long. Still, they don't have to handle it this way.

I remember watching a show about 3 sisters awhile ago. The sister that had the baby was sitting around acting so bored, just weeks after having the baby, that she just had to rush right back to work. Then they show her at the office until well after working hours are over like she didn't have a care in the world. They also did the same thing on "The Practice" when two of the main characters had babies. It's not the back to work thing I take issue with, it is that they make it seem like anyone with half a brain would be bored silly at home with a baby.
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#4 of 38 Old 02-15-2003, 07:02 PM
 
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I honestly don't know why they got her pregnant in the first place. It was a weak plot line and now they are stuck with the baby issues. The producers said very clearly early on that the baby 'will not be the 7th Friend' which really says all I need to hear.
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#5 of 38 Old 02-15-2003, 09:45 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by glh
It's not the back to work thing I take issue with, it is that they make it seem like anyone with half a brain would be bored silly at home with a baby.
I agree with you there. I at least want them to bring up the issue of how hard it is to go back to work. And they make it look so easy. But I did see someone using a breastpump on some TV show so someone is doing something. Like it matters anyway.
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#6 of 38 Old 02-15-2003, 10:20 PM
 
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My dh saw this episode of Friends and he told me about it because it really bothered him. He thought it was silly that she would have weaned so soon.
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#7 of 38 Old 02-16-2003, 01:16 AM
 
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I hadn't noiticed that the baby as weaned already. How sad.

About never seeing the baby. There probably isn't a real baby and that why you never see her. i would rather never see the baby then have a real kid on the set all the time.

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#8 of 38 Old 02-16-2003, 06:30 AM
 
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Well, Ross barely got to see his son to the point that I almost forget he has one. I did catch the formula thing, but I remember on ER, Carol seemed to wean her babies early.

For some reason, Everbody Loves Raymond really bugs me in regards to the children. How many times are the adults sitting around or doing these long drawn out things with nary a peep from the kids. They are only in the show when it is convenient. That's the way many shows do it, so I shouldn't complain, but my husband is always yelling "Yes, and where are your children right now?" at the tv.
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#9 of 38 Old 02-16-2003, 11:39 AM
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I agree about Raymond, I've thought the same thing. I think the show is funny, but sometimes it seems like all those two ever do is fight and insult each other. The wife especially seems to think Raymond is a total idiot. Is that why it's funny? Hmm-maybe I should think about why I watch it. I don't watch Friends but from what I've read here it seems like they did make a mistake in that story line.
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#10 of 38 Old 02-16-2003, 01:29 PM
 
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Friends used to be my favorite show, but I almost never watch it anymore. It just seems so silly and contrived, not to mention that Phoebe and Rachel are having some serious hair issues, in my opinion.

Seriously, though, about the formula in the fridge... I think it would have been so much funnier if it *had* been EBM. DIdn't Joey drink it or something? (I didn't see it, my sister told me about it, and I can't remember exactly what she said).

I have been weaning myself off of TV b/c we want to ditch it when baby is born. And Everybody Loves Raymond was one of our favorites, too. I still crack up at a lot of the family stuff between Ray and his parents but I literally put the TV on mute sometimes when Ray and Deborah argue. It hurts my ears!

And maybe they do have loving times, too, but they never really show that. I could never imagine arguing that much with my DH. Why did she marry him if she thought he was such an idiot? I see him trying really hard a lot of the times, he just doesn't really seem to "get" what she wants. And she seems really mean about it, too.

Getting rid of TV is going to be easier than I thought. I wonder if *I* am changing as baby time approaches?

Great topic!


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#11 of 38 Old 02-16-2003, 01:50 PM
 
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Sorry, I love FRIENDS......the last thing I want to see after spending a day with a toddler.......is kids on TV. These shows arent here to set examples, they are here for mindless entertainment. ESCAPE....... Im usually watching as DH is bathing and getting dd ready for bed. If FRIENDS did their whole show centered around life with a baby, I and millions of others wouldnt watch it........

Just my HO....
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#12 of 38 Old 02-16-2003, 02:40 PM
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I think I just take it with a grain of salt. It is mindless fluff. That is why I enjoy it - it is a nice break from the rest of my day.
Plus the child laborlaws for children in television are pretty strict and really tough to work with sometimes. Which is why you only get choice shots and the kids age so quickly - because they get less stringent as the kids get older.
So I ignore a lot of the kid stuff.
And as for the weaning thing - most mainstream parents do exactly what Rachel did. Even one of my friends - who is fairly crunchy, vegetarian, environmentally aware sorta gal - mured for the first 6 months and then switched over to formula. sad but true. So since it is a show that follows the mainstream trends, and this is a trend - then that would be the logical choice. A show like that can't make decisions that are too far out of the norm cause then it will lose it's audience.
So I smile and laugh when it is funy and ignore the crap I don't like.

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#13 of 38 Old 02-16-2003, 02:47 PM
 
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I suppose my main issue with Friends, and it's a big one, is that it's a predictable, boring little show, that always goes for the easy laugh. Don't you just hate shows that insult your intelligence???
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#14 of 38 Old 02-16-2003, 05:14 PM
 
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I do watch it, to tune out to mindless fluff. But...
Have you ever wondered how much you would acutally laugh at Friends without the laugh track?
The biggest running joke on the show is the fact that they all take the Lord's name in vain. Is that really funny?
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#15 of 38 Old 02-16-2003, 05:17 PM
 
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I must have missed the formula referance. The lst one I say mentioned Joey walking in on her pumping. Why then would she need formula???

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#16 of 38 Old 02-16-2003, 05:31 PM
 
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I missed the formula ref. too. I saw last weeks and she menioned having bm in the fridge. I was happy about that. As far as the bjorn goes, I thought that was a big step. Esp. since the dad had her in there! I don't think most people know that she was too young for the carrier (I didn't until a thread here a few days ago and I have five kids). It's better then when Monica and Chandler were babysitting and left her in the pack and play the whole time!

I agree, you must take it with a grain of salt. I think Friends is funny. It reminds me of when it first came out ten years ago and dh and I were just dating. Maybe that's why I'm so attached to it?


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#17 of 38 Old 02-16-2003, 08:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Like I said, I know I analyze it too much, probably cause it's not that funny anymore, so I get caught up in the details. It's like when someone on a show gives their phone number out and it starts with "555" - it knocks down that 4th wall. I guess that's what ruins it for me when a show is dealing with a baby, and they don't treat the subject realistically, for instance how hard it is to leave a baby to go back to work. I see the points about child labor laws though. I don't expect Friends to set an example by any means, maybe what was bugging me is that it does reflect current trends...and I guess I'm not happy with current trends. I totally agree about needing the escape factor...I wouldn't want the show to be all about a baby either - in fact I wish they hadn't made Rachel pregant to begin with. It makes me not like Rachel's character because she comes across as a detached mom...which pulls me out of the show. As far as escapism goes, I look more towards the Bachelorette and those type of shows for that

Anyways, I think I'm over it now . Thanks for all your comments, they were so interesting to read!

Mom to two boys, 7 and 10.  Expecting 3rd boy any day now with DH (his first).

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#18 of 38 Old 02-18-2003, 06:32 PM
 
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Friends is one of the many shows I don't watch much anymore because their premise is that watching self-centered people be rude and self-centered is amusing. Rachel has grown as a character from her daddy's girl days, but she's still quite self-involved. So that's playing a role here -- it's hard for her to adjust to being the caregiver rather than the cared for or the simply out-for-herself independent. Also, I did catch the show where she decided to go back early and while I was a little angry at her decision I was much angrier at the cause for it. The plot made her new role as a mother put her job and livelihood in jeopardy. She was honestly and justifiably worried that she could lose her job just because she was a mom taking her meager little maternity leave. How sad. I'd like to see that as the show's commentary on the terrible situation facing so many WOHMs. Not a very well-done commentary, maybe, but still . . .
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#19 of 38 Old 02-18-2003, 07:48 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by rainsmom
Sorry, I love FRIENDS......the last thing I want to see after spending a day with a toddler.......is kids on TV.
LOL. The only reason I can say anything about the show at all is because I watch it. So I must love it too. Actually I used to love it, but now it has gotten old and sort of boring. Sitll, I watch it. And it is about the only show I watch.
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#20 of 38 Old 02-18-2003, 08:06 PM
 
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Me too! Its like a bad habit.......and my mindless escape in to being 20something again!

We really shouldnt look to TV to set good examples for ourselves and our kids. There is nothing on TV today that has any redeeming qualities. ITs pure entertainment, and sometimes not even that!
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#21 of 38 Old 02-19-2003, 02:07 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by glh
I agree about Raymond, I've thought the same thing. I think the show is funny, but sometimes it seems like all those two ever do is fight and insult each other. The wife especially seems to think Raymond is a total idiot. Is that why it's funny? Hmm-maybe I should think about why I watch it. I don't watch Friends but from what I've read here it seems like they did make a mistake in that story line.
GLH! I completely agree! I used to love this show, and sometimes it is funny. Lately, though, when I see it, I see the nagging harpy, the dopey, insensitive, sex starved husband, the chauvanist father, the nosey, overbearing mother, and the entire show is just insult after insult after insult. And I just don't find it amusing anymore...
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#22 of 38 Old 02-19-2003, 02:13 AM
 
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I would agree that these shows aren't exactly realistic, nor do people necessarily expect them to be. After all, the "Friends" live in a NY never touched by 9/11. On the other hand, the "Friends" also live in a NY where it seems you only see White people, where mariginally employed 20/30 y.o's live in $2000+ a month apartments, and where no one does anything but hang out in coffee houses and date all the time. I know it's not supposed to be the "real world," but some of this stuff does bother me. (Although I heard somewhere that they will be getting a Black "Friend" sometime this season?)


For the moment, I am enjoying friends, although I have to say that Rachel and Ross are two of my least favorite characters.
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#23 of 38 Old 02-19-2003, 11:29 AM
 
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OK, I've just been lurking, but I must say I don't want a black "Friend". I mean, it's been 8/9 years, why now? That would mess up the shows dynamic, IMO.
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#24 of 38 Old 02-19-2003, 11:44 AM
 
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I think it would be silly to bring in a full time new person. But personally, they still should have one of their "acquantince" friends be black.
I mean, they have guest stars all the time, how come none of these have been people of color?

Same with Will and Grace, don't they have any friends that are black?

Hopefully there have been guests on these shows and I just happened to miss that episode.

As far as the OP, I have been mad about the whole baby issue. I think that a lot of stupid girls watch that show and get the idea that it's okay to set the baby down in the other room and go on with your life as if she wasn't there. If you are going to have a show like that, I believe you should have a little responsibility for the message that you put out. Children should be seen, heard and loved!

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#25 of 38 Old 02-19-2003, 11:51 AM
 
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T Will & Grace (used to be my fave show) has had plenty shades of brown ppl on it. In major roles. The End.
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#26 of 38 Old 02-19-2003, 01:58 PM
 
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I agree with most of you ... I've been quite annoyed at how the baby is not held and how Rachel is now using formula. And there was one more annoying thing: a couple of weeks ago she said to her coworker (who called her maternity leave a vacation)something like, "You call getting your nipples sucked sore for three months a vacation?" While I realize that some women do get sore nipples I think saying that on TV sends a negative message about breastfeeding and might discourage some women from trying.

Nevertheless, I keep watching ... (Rachel was pregnant at the same time I was so I enjoyed watching their treatment of the whole pregnancy and birth, even though it was ridiculously medicalized.)
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#27 of 38 Old 02-19-2003, 03:04 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by Chaka Falls
T Will & Grace (used to be my fave show) has had plenty shades of brown ppl on it. In major roles. The End.
Now that I think about it, Rosario is a major character, but I can't think of any more.
Will's boss (that famous tap dancer played him and now I can't remember his name! He was in White NIghts, someone help me!) But I haven't seen him on in a while.

Thanks for the correction Chaka Falls

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#28 of 38 Old 02-19-2003, 03:36 PM
 
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I'll say that the item I saw about a Black "Friend" was a passing tagline, and there was no story. So given the media's tendency to exaggerate certain things, it may be that the Black "Friend" is going to be someone's love interest, boss, neighbor, something like that. A supporting player. I don't think they're going to add to the "Friends," although I think that the show should call it quits this year. I don't see how many seasons this can go on.
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#29 of 38 Old 02-19-2003, 06:59 PM
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Originally posted by jeanvanzyl
Seriously, though, about the formula in the fridge... I think it would have been so much funnier if it *had* been EBM. DIdn't Joey drink it or something? (I didn't see it, my sister told me about it, and I can't remember exactly what she said).
while I don't watch Friends, I can tell you that Mad About You has already done it - I forget the names of the characters, but I do recall seeing one episode where dude (Paul?) wanted to taste his wife's breastmilk, but was squeamish about it and vacilated about doing so throughout the episode. At the very end, dude's brother, who was looking for milk for his cereal, poured the EBM on his cereal and proceded to eat it, to dude's shock. The end.
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#30 of 38 Old 02-21-2003, 02:20 AM
 
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Friends already did all the EBM jokes back when Ross' first child was a baby. Remember that episode, where Carol left EBM bottles with them while he kept the baby?

And I was thrilled Rachel had a natural breech birth. That just rocked. I had a breech homebirth and anytime someone on t.v. says "breech" it is usually a major medical ordeal that ends up killing the mother or needing a c-section. It is ridiculously sensationalized. Friends just wrote into the story like it was no big deal.

I have to admit Friends is my favorite couch potato show. If I want mindless fluff, I want friends!

But I am so OVER RACHEL AND ROSS. I wanted them to get together so bad at the start of this season and all I can say now is "you two deserve each other!".

At this point Phoebe is the only one getting the good lines, or the interesting plots IMO. I'm curious to find out why they wrote this new guy out of the show tonight. I wonder who they are going to pair her up with? I always hoped she would wind up with Joey....

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