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#1 of 64 Old 11-02-2008, 11:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Anyone else watching???

freethinking mom to DD 4/2006 and DS 1/2010
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#2 of 64 Old 11-03-2008, 02:40 AM
 
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I was watching bits and pieces. Its...interesting and sorta creepy.

:~*Barbara*~ 25, DGF to an awesome man (25) and always a step-mom to A (8)
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#3 of 64 Old 11-03-2008, 02:49 AM
 
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what is it?

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#4 of 64 Old 11-03-2008, 02:51 AM
 
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Basically its a debutante ball where girls as young as 5 pledge there purity.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Purity_Ball

:~*Barbara*~ 25, DGF to an awesome man (25) and always a step-mom to A (8)
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#5 of 64 Old 11-03-2008, 06:11 AM
 
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icky. i felt icky after watching.
poor girls.
feh.

Erin, 33, salty southern mama, sitting by the sea with my DH35, DD10, DS4, &DD2!
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#6 of 64 Old 11-03-2008, 09:42 AM
 
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freaky deaky-bleh!
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#7 of 64 Old 11-03-2008, 11:51 AM
 
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I watched some of it and it was really um icky to me. It left me with a very unsettled feeling in the pit of my stomach, definitely not something I agree with.

OUR DAUGHTERS ARE PROTECTED SHOULDN'T OUR SONS BE TOO! :
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#8 of 64 Old 11-03-2008, 12:12 PM
 
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I have heard about Purity Balls. The whole idea squigs me out. It seems so creepy to me. The thought of sharing a moment with dad and promising to be a virgin. Yuck.

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#9 of 64 Old 11-03-2008, 02:46 PM
 
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I saw that on I was watching the show on before it yesterday but never saw the actual show, it just sounded a bit creepy!

Aimee Blessed Momma to 4 amazing boys, P ~ 9 H ~ 7 J ~ 4 and B ~ 1.  Happily married to D Living my almost dream life on an urban homestead, hoping for our forever land to find us soon!

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#10 of 64 Old 11-03-2008, 02:52 PM
 
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I guess "purity": is not important for girls who don't have a father around.

I think it's truly creepy to pledge your "virginity" to your father. I suspect that an unhealthy dynamic would already exist in a family where the father felt that he had some sort of stake in his daughter's sexuality.
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#11 of 64 Old 11-03-2008, 03:20 PM
 
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I think it is creepy too. The whole pledging to the father...idk. Just as an aside, when I was working the high school group at my church, I had one girl come to me after church one Sunday worried because she thought she could be pregnant. We talked, she went on her way and ended up having a miscarriage shortly after. About a month after she miscarried, she calls me and tells me she is at the jeweler getting her chastity ring and wanted to know which one I thought she should get. I was like, um...wouldn't that kinda be moot? lol.
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#12 of 64 Old 11-03-2008, 07:45 PM
 
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I watched this last night. It was very disturbing although I could see where the parents were coming from. I think they took it way too far. I agree with wanting your child to grow up feeling special and worthy of being treated with dignity and respect but I don't think a five year old needs to pledge her purity nor do I agree that would be boyfriends must meet with the father a few times before their daughter is allowed to go on a date (initially chaparoned by the parents!) The young women who got married didn't even kiss their fiance until the wedding! The young girls who spoke seemed to be simply reciting what has been drilled into their heads from a very early age. It didn't sound like they really understoood what they were talking about.

My favorite character was the 27 yo who was pregnant at 19 (I assume she placed the child for adoption) refused to marry the man her father chose for her at 21 and is now living with her boyfriend and her parents have little to nothing to do with her anymore. She seemed happy though a bit sad that her parents didn't appreciate who she has become.

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#13 of 64 Old 11-03-2008, 07:50 PM
 
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Totally creepy. I think it sort of goes above and beyond (and over a few boundaries) of just teaching self-respect to girls, which is very important. For me, it brings up images of women being "property" of their fathers and being passed to their husbands.
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#14 of 64 Old 11-03-2008, 08:33 PM
 
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Glad I'm not the only one who found the whole thing disturbing. It seemed positively incestuous to me. No father should take that much interest in his daughter's personal life.

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#15 of 64 Old 11-03-2008, 09:00 PM
 
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Originally Posted by alicia622 View Post

My favorite character was the 27 yo who was pregnant at 19 (I assume she placed the child for adoption) refused to marry the man her father chose for her at 21 and is now living with her boyfriend and her parents have little to nothing to do with her anymore. She seemed happy though a bit sad that her parents didn't appreciate who she has become.
She had a miscarriage, otherwise she would have married him; though dumping him was still bad in her parent's eyes it was not as bad as being an unwed mother.

"It should be a rule in all prophylactic work that no harm should ever be unnecessarily inflicted on a healthy person (Sir Graham Wilson, The Hazards of Immunization, 1967)."
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#16 of 64 Old 11-03-2008, 09:24 PM
 
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She had a miscarriage, otherwise she would have married him; though dumping him was still bad in her parent's eyes it was not as bad as being an unwed mother.
Thanks for the details. I missed that part as I was watching several shows at the same time!

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#17 of 64 Old 11-03-2008, 09:28 PM
 
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I have heard about Purity Balls. The whole idea squigs me out. It seems so creepy to me. The thought of sharing a moment with dad and promising to be a virgin. Yuck.
I was so disturbed at how intense the fathers were about this. And the kids aren't even supposed to KISS before marriage!?! WTF? It just seemed so incestual to me.

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I guess "purity": is not important for girls who don't have a father around.

I think it's truly creepy to pledge your "virginity" to your father. I suspect that an unhealthy dynamic would already exist in a family where the father felt that he had some sort of stake in his daughter's sexuality.
I was also bothered that none of the kids could really explain *why* this was necessary. "I gave little pieces of my heart away" "it's adultery since your husband is out there somewhere "

Jeez, that's just brainwashing. These are the kinds of kids who end up pregnant because no one taught them about birth control.
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#18 of 64 Old 11-03-2008, 09:31 PM
 
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that show seriously squicked me out. especially the guy behind the whole "purity ball" enterprise (and don't doubt for a minute that they're raking in $$$ by hosting these : )) -- honestly someone who takes that much interest in his daughters love lives sends up red flags for me.
and what about girls who don't have fathers? what about girls who are raped? and why aren't we seeing mother/son events if "purity" is such a virtue to be embraced? :

the whole thing is just wrong.

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#19 of 64 Old 11-03-2008, 10:58 PM
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i'm watching
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#20 of 64 Old 11-04-2008, 12:43 AM
 
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does anyone else giggle when they hear "purity balls" and think "schweaty balls" in their next thought?
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#21 of 64 Old 11-04-2008, 01:06 AM
 
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The whole thing icked me out too. A pledge to keep your virginity?? That is just INSANE. And a signed contract? I could barely believe what I was seeing. They have five year old children indoctrinated into this stuff..and those kids are barely old enough to understand the difference between boys and girls let alone complicated sexual topics such as purity. Just gross. Secondly, this whole thing is very, very VERY sexist. Where are the purity balls for little boys and their mothers? Hm? Why are girls expected to pledge their purity to their fathers but yet boys are not expected to do the same? Ridiculous. It perpetuates the idea that women are frail, fragile creatures who are incapable of making any sound decision without a man to consult with. It seemed like even those in the show who were promoting purity didn't have as much of a problem with a boy who wasn't "pure" verses a girl. Also, this kind of indoctrination can be very damaging to a girl's self esteem. They are essentially teaching their daughters that their worth as a person is tied to their sexual choices.

Bethany, crunchy Christian mom to Destiny (11) Deanna (9), and Ethan (2)

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#22 of 64 Old 11-04-2008, 11:05 AM
 
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I watched this last night. It was very disturbing although I could see where the parents were coming from. I think they took it way too far. I agree with wanting your child to grow up feeling special and worthy of being treated with dignity and respect but I don't think a five year old needs to pledge her purity nor do I agree that would be boyfriends must meet with the father a few times before their daughter is allowed to go on a date (initially chaparoned by the parents!) The young women who got married didn't even kiss their fiance until the wedding! The young girls who spoke seemed to be simply reciting what has been drilled into their heads from a very early age. It didn't sound like they really understoood what they were talking about.

My favorite character was the 27 yo who was pregnant at 19 (I assume she placed the child for adoption) refused to marry the man her father chose for her at 21 and is now living with her boyfriend and her parents have little to nothing to do with her anymore. She seemed happy though a bit sad that her parents didn't appreciate who she has become.

I find the whole thing to be really, really creepy. I only saw bits and pieces of the show. I know a girl whose family is really into the whole purity ring/pledge your heart to your dad thing and she was not even allowed to touch or be alone with her husband before they got married. When he proposed, her parents were sitting right next to them taking pictures and he handed the engagement ring to her dad to put on her finger.

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#23 of 64 Old 11-04-2008, 12:35 PM
 
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I find the whole thing to be really, really creepy. I only saw bits and pieces of the show. I know a girl whose family is really into the whole purity ring/pledge your heart to your dad thing and she was not even allowed to touch or be alone with her husband before they got married. When he proposed, her parents were sitting right next to them taking pictures and he handed the engagement ring to her dad to put on her finger.
See, that's just flat out freaking weird to me. I can't even form a coherent thought on why that bothers me so much.

I watched bits of it as I was falling asleep and then checked yesterday to see when it was on again, but it's not! I'd like to see the whole thing. The one girl I saw being interviewed kept looking to her dad for the answers, like she didn't really know what she believed and had to have someone else speak for her. That's not how I want me kids to grow up for sure.
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#24 of 64 Old 11-04-2008, 01:08 PM
 
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The young women who got married didn't even kiss their fiance until the wedding!
This was the only part that I saw. they hadn't touched each other at all before the wedding, not even holding hands.
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#25 of 64 Old 11-04-2008, 08:04 PM
 
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Woah! That's all really extreme. I know of people who have pledged to keep their virginity and have promise rings and such and it's all fine and normal but this is just weird. The father puts the ring on her finger? 5 year olds?! Not touching???!!!

This is why we have people who think you have sex in the bellybutton.

Maggie, blissfully married mama of 5 little ladies on my own little path. homeschool.gif gd.gifRainbow.gif
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#26 of 64 Old 11-04-2008, 08:24 PM
 
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I've got it recorded and I'll be watching it tonight!
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#27 of 64 Old 11-04-2008, 10:35 PM
 
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The one girl I saw being interviewed kept looking to her dad for the answers, like she didn't really know what she believed and had to have someone else speak for her.
I know ... I would love to see a follow up on her and see how this whole thing "worked out"

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DGS born 2005
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#28 of 64 Old 11-05-2008, 08:10 AM
 
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I guess "purity": is not important for girls who don't have a father around.

I think it's truly creepy to pledge your "virginity" to your father. I suspect that an unhealthy dynamic would already exist in a family where the father felt that he had some sort of stake in his daughter's sexuality.
hmmm...I recorded the show but I don't know if I will watch it now. I didn't realize the girls were pledging their virginity to their fathers. That does sound creepy. I have no problem with a girl (or boy) being raised to possibly go this route but pledging it to your parent, uhhh...hmmm. I will just have to watch the show I guess and see for myself.

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#29 of 64 Old 11-05-2008, 01:41 PM
 
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does anyone else giggle when they hear "purity balls" and think "schweaty balls" in their next thought?
Hahaha! Yes!

My two cents is that these girls all think that by not "giving pieces of your heart away" they will prevent themselves from ever having their heart broken. I don't know about you guys, but do you know how much I've learned about who I am as a person, as a woman, from having my heart broken (and breaking a few myself?). These fathers aren't sparing their daughters anything, in fact, they are keeping them in a bubble. What's going to happen when their perfect husbands cheat on them? Or if their perfect husband dies? These girls are going to have no real life experiences to prepare them for heartache.

Carrie SAHM to Nora Caitlyn (5) and Finnley Dax (2) homebirthing, breastfeeding, babywearing, intactivist, doula mama!         
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#30 of 64 Old 11-05-2008, 01:45 PM
 
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I too was bothered by sooooo many things while watching. DH and I discussed it, and we feel like in many ways it was taking away the girls' innocence by discussing emotional aspects of sexuality way before they can grasp it. I do want to say both DH and I are Christians, and we do pray for our children to make good choices regarding all areas of their life, including their sexuality. Our DD is 7, and righ now the focus of our discussions per sexuality is biology. Why and how could we really explain these other concepts without confusing her? I belive waiting for marriage is best, but how does being your daddy's "princess" tie into it all? So much emphasis on looking pretty and the fathers tellng their daughters how beautiful they are. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for supportive, involved dad's, but there just doesn't seem to be any emphasis on why a young woman would want to wait for marriage, what the real benefits are, besides pleasing dad and mom. One of the young girls did not even have the proper biblical understanding, thinkingit's a ten commandment, which it's not. This is why is seems too 'brainwashy" to me. There is just so much more to healthy self-esteem, IMHO. I too was left wondering about the girls attending the church sponsoring the event who don't have dads in their lives, are they just left out in the cold? Also the family's that could not afford such an event, it is obviously quite costly. An where are the boys in all of this?
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