Scared to have a baby in France
I'm new to this website. I have been living in France for a year now and am likely to be here for some time yet. I have a 17 year old and a 2 year old. When I gave birth last time I had a severe post partum hemorrhage and very nearly died. I lost pretty much all the blood in my body and had several transfusions of blood and plasma. Afterwards I was told that it was due to a torn cervix.
I personally feel it may also have been down to a rushed and poorly managed induction and the midwife hurting me with her nails when she tried to stretch my cervix (sorry for tmi).
I am worried that my son, being now 2 and a half, will not benefit from a sibling close to him in age if I do not have another baby again soon. However I am so worried it will happen again and that I will die this time. I also think I may have an unrecognised history of bleeding (I've had several smaller hemorrhages through the course of my life).
Though an elective C-section has occurred to me, googling suggests C-sections are just as likely to result in hemorrhage, and I have had a lot of problems with anaesthetic before. But most of all I would prefer not to have a caesarean because I want to feel the instinctive rush of love I felt after my first birth and which hours of natural labour and pain can help to elicit. (Being away from my baby for hours during the hemorrhage I had some trouble bonding with him afterwards).
I do not speak any French yet and I have been quite worried by visits to the Doctor here - perhaps it's just my Doctor, but the standard of care and understanding of illness seems a little old fashioned. (and recently my 2 year old had chicken pox and the Dr told me to put fluorescent dye (!) on the spots and prescribed 3 different medicines (!?) but no basic calamine lotion) I would like to be able to find a really good obstetrician, preferably one with expertise or experience in Post Partum Haemorrhage and who can speak English. But I know the chance of me finding anything or anyone is very small. I know I need to learn French and I do struggle to know how anything works here.
Can any one advise me or offer any suggestions. Has any one been in a similar situation?