We changed our mind about not having a family, 7 years after agreeing to a vasectomy. I'm 39, and my husband is 40.
After a complete mental breakdown 2 1/2 years ago, through therapy I've come to realise my childhood was abusive and completely controlled and manipulated. The immense fear of my parents controlling my family was a major part of my decision not to have a family 7 years ago.
I had fibroids removed from my uterus last November, and in the follow up consult the Gynaecologist told me that my husband and I needed to chat before Xmas about a family as I need to be pregnant now at 39 if we're going to have a family. He didn't know we'd already had a vasectomy.
So, we've chatted forever since then. My husband said he tried to talk to me about whether we had made the right decision 5 years ago, but I'd not shown any interest. That was so encouraging. Together we've made the decision to get this reversed and see what happens. He's taking zinc and vit C and I'm taking pre-pregnancy vits with folic acid in preparation to make us as fertile as possible at our age.
Realistically, we'll only have one child, if we're successful. We're using Mr Harriss in Nottingham as he's the most experienced with a 92% success rate. Not cheap - at £2,500 as we can't get this on the NHS.
This is absolutely scarey - and exciting all at once. We're already moving rooms and redecorating throughout, although will leave the proposed baby room blank until we know I'm pregnant.
He's booked in to the hospital on 14th Feb - most romantic gesture ever on Valentine's day - and it's also the day that we got together, 16 or so years ago now.
Are we mad? Has anyone else been here? What on earth have we let ourselves in for?
My family know nothing and we've no intention of telling them either. His family are absolutely wonderful and supportive. Only a very few of our very closest friends and church leaders know. We'll tell everyone else as we have to.
Some people say in hindsight, knowing what they know about the trials of parenthood, that if they had the choice to have kids or not, then they'd choose not to have kids. I don't really know what to make of that. Others just say have one.
I've no family round me (thank goodness for my side anyway) so I've just got my wonderful Church to support me, but it's not the same as having grandparents that could support us locally.
I would love to hear your thoughts ......
hello, I have nothing really to help but I didnt want to read and not post. goodluck to your husband on the 14th, I hope that as you start your journey into motherhood that you are at peace with your past and excited about your future. i would focus less on how you'll feel when you manage to have a baby and more on how you'd feel if you didnt? as long as you know you're doing everything for the right reasons in life then you'll find it hard to go wrong IMO
all the best x
Thank you so much for that hon - really appreciated. I'm still quite vulnerable where my family are concerned, however, my husband is amazing and supportive and would never let them hurt me or the little one. We're already discussing names - a bit premature heh. 2 weeks to go, then another 2 weeks and we can start trying. xx