Three-year-olds to be taught about gay relationships - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 91 Old 07-24-2006, 06:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/liv...n_page_id=1770

Rebecca wife of Megan...moms to six crazy kiddos! Seth (15), Madison (13), Zachary (12), Trevor (12), Alex (10), and Nicholas (9)
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#2 of 91 Old 07-24-2006, 06:23 PM
 
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I don't see how they need to be taught about them at the age of 3. I guess unless they don't have any gay people in their lives. My almost 3 year old knows all about gay relationships, and makes no distinction between gay and straight relationships, except that she wants to know where her other mama is.

What they mostly need is to *not* be taught crappy things about gay relationships, and to not live in a bubble of heterosexual-only partnerships.
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#3 of 91 Old 07-24-2006, 06:25 PM
 
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theres a great family book that we read Jake.


Not about Gay or Lesbian relationships, but about ALL relationships.


One of th lines is "some kids have 2 dads, and some kids have 2 moms"



not teaching perse but definatly breaking down the stereo types....

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#4 of 91 Old 07-24-2006, 06:25 PM
 
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I'm so sick of hearing little boys call each other 'gay' when they don't conform to sexual stereotypes.
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#5 of 91 Old 07-24-2006, 06:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yoshua
theres a great family book that we read Jake.


Not about Gay or Lesbian relationships, but about ALL relationships.


One of th lines is "some kids have 2 dads, and some kids have 2 moms"



not teaching perse but definatly breaking down the stereo types....

Now see there is the way to teach the child. Leave it in the home.


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#6 of 91 Old 07-24-2006, 06:33 PM
 
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I don't think young children need explanations of sexual relationships whether gay, hetero, or unwed. To do so makes the relationships stand out in some way and makes children think something is wrong with it because it was pointed out to them. To battle racism, bigotry and discrimination, you do so by teaching children to love one another, to have respect for others, to be kind, etc. Specifically teaching about an issue such as homosexuality only singles it out. Kids don't think something is wrong or hate unless taught by an adult. Three is way to young to have sexual conversations anyway.
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#7 of 91 Old 07-24-2006, 06:34 PM
 
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I just left a comment- we'll see if they publish it or not!

I applauded the measure- it's completely appropriate for preschoolers to learn about different kinds of families- some have a mommy and a daddy, some have a single parent, some live with grandparents, some live with two mommies or two daddies, etc.

They're not teaching "sexuality." They're teaching about family structure.

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#8 of 91 Old 07-24-2006, 06:36 PM
 
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I'm taking back my opinion and stating that I do think children need to be taught about different family structures. I think my child is just taught about that in an organic way, but not all children have that privilege.
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#9 of 91 Old 07-24-2006, 06:37 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Houdini
Now see there is the way to teach the child. Leave it to the home.
This is only appropriate if the children are lucky enough to be homeschooled

If children attend a public school, then it is an essential part of the curriculum. Not getting into the nitty gritty, but learning to accept different household circumstances. It would also be nice if they learned that some kids only had one mom or dad as well.

There are several two-mom/two dad families in our neighborhood and Livi will see them at the park/grocery store/yard. Some day she will ask me why she has one mom and dad. I'm going to keep it simple, but I'm sure going to impose a message of acceptance. It's best to keep young minds open and not closed.
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#10 of 91 Old 07-24-2006, 06:43 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruthla
I applauded the measure- it's completely appropriate for preschoolers to learn about different kinds of families- some have a mommy and a daddy, some have a single parent, some live with grandparents, some live with two mommies or two daddies, etc.

They're not teaching "sexuality." They're teaching about family structure.
: GO NUT!

Unfortunately we won't see this in the US anytime soon.
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#11 of 91 Old 07-24-2006, 06:44 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruthla

They're not teaching "sexuality." They're teaching about family structure.
Well that's probably a poor word choice on my part. Oops. I still think it should be left to the parents to take teachable moments as they come. Simply being aware that there are other types of families doesn't make you have more acceptance or tolerance toward people who are different. Sesame Street has a skit about other families with a song, but it never generates real discussion between my 5 yo ds and I about an issue vs having a friend with two mommies or two daddies. I think that's where the true teachable moments arise - personal associations.
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#12 of 91 Old 07-24-2006, 06:45 PM
 
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Well I have not known any 5 year olds or younger children who would think there is anything to *discuss* about gay families. Just like there is nothing to discuss about straight families, yk?

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#13 of 91 Old 07-24-2006, 06:46 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mamanurse
It would also be nice if they learned that some kids only had one mom or dad as well.
That IS part of this proposal.

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It is particularly important to begin to make three to five-year-olds aware of the range of families that exist in the UK today; families with one mum, one mum and dad, two mums, two dads, grandparents, adoptive parents, guardians etc.

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#14 of 91 Old 07-24-2006, 06:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by kstsmith
I still think it should be left to the parents to take teachable moments as they come. Simply being aware that there are other types of families doesn't make you have more acceptance or tolerance toward people who are different. Sesame Street has a skit about other families with a song, but it never generates real discussion between my 5 yo ds and I about an issue vs having a friend with two mommies or two daddies. I think that's where the true teachable moments arise - personal associations.

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#15 of 91 Old 07-24-2006, 06:53 PM
 
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I don't agree that it should be left only up to parents since as stated in the article a variety of stereotypes and isms are rampant inthe children by the time they reach primary school.

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But the NUT claims that it needs to go further and early years teachers should be given "the skills and tools to challenge racism, sexism and homophobia" and abusive language
sounds good to me
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#16 of 91 Old 07-24-2006, 06:56 PM
 
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I would be furious if my child were taught about homosexual relationships by someone other than myself or DH. : I think it's a very personal thing to teach a child. And how about the maturity of the children - not all 3 year olds can handle the concept of a relationship that they don't see on a daily basis.

I don't have a problem teaching about different family structures, but no one should decide that all (insert age group here) is mature enough to be taught any specific thing.

Jenn
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#17 of 91 Old 07-24-2006, 06:59 PM
 
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Originally Posted by rabrog
I don't have a problem teaching about different family structures, but no one should decide that all (insert age group here) is mature enough to be taught any specific thing.
Are you planning to homeschool all of your children? When parents send their children to school, they give the school some authority on what to teach their children. An educator IS going to decide what's "age appropriate" for each grade level.

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#18 of 91 Old 07-24-2006, 07:06 PM
 
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I am going to homeschool my children, but for many more reasons than this.

If my child were taught about homosexuality in the classroom, I would deal with it at home, obviously. However, I would also let the teacher know I was not pleased (if it were taught too young, IMO). I know I can't stop what is taught in a public classroom, but I can show my displeasure if I don't agree with something.

Jenn
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#19 of 91 Old 07-24-2006, 07:07 PM
 
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And they are also being educated by their classmates as early as possible. 'that shirt is so gay, what are you, some kind of wuss?'
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#20 of 91 Old 07-24-2006, 07:09 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rabrog
And how about the maturity of the children - not all 3 year olds can handle the concept of a relationship that they don't see on a daily basis.
It seems like you might be making it into a much bigger deal than it probably is to a child.

Quote:
Originally Posted by kstsmith
I don't think young children need explanations of sexual relationships whether gay, hetero, or unwed. To do so makes the relationships stand out in some way and makes children think something is wrong with it because it was pointed out to them. To battle racism, bigotry and discrimination, you do so by teaching children to love one another, to have respect for others, to be kind, etc. Specifically teaching about an issue such as homosexuality only singles it out. Kids don't think something is wrong or hate unless taught by an adult. Three is way to young to have sexual conversations anyway.
Why is a conversation about different kinds of relationships a "sexual conversation?"

I can understand people wanting to approach their children with things in their own time and way but I don't agree that all you have to do is to love one another, have respect for others, etc. Children sometimes need explanations of things in order to see them as normal and okay. If they don't get them, they're likely to always see them as different and perhaps negatively so.

For example, I always thought I was approaching race with my son in a healthy manner by letting him just experience and interact with people of different races, talking about the beauty of different skin tones when he brought it up, etc. Until one day when we were talking about marriage and he brought race into the equation for some reason. He said, "I wouldn't want you to marry a brown person, mom." I was shocked by that. It took a bit, but I finally got out of him that he didn't understand that people with brown skin are exactly the same underneath the skin as he and I. He didn't think they were bad, just different - seriously, like a different creature. Obviously, I missed something big. Now he understands and is okay, but he needed more than my organic approach.
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#21 of 91 Old 07-24-2006, 07:12 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rabrog
I would be furious if my child were taught about homosexual relationships by someone other than myself or DH. : I think it's a very personal thing to teach a child. And how about the maturity of the children - not all 3 year olds can handle the concept of a relationship that they don't see on a daily basis.

I don't have a problem teaching about different family structures, but no one should decide that all (insert age group here) is mature enough to be taught any specific thing.

Jenn
Would you also not want anyone to teach your child about different races or expose your children to people of color?
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#22 of 91 Old 07-24-2006, 07:12 PM
 
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Originally Posted by rabrog
I would be furious if my child were taught about homosexual relationships by someone other than myself or DH. : I think it's a very personal thing to teach a child.
Substitute "heterosexual" for "homosexual" and ask yourself if you feel the same way.


My son has been actively taught that there are all kinds of different families HIS WHOLE LIFE. He has attended a PRIDE event, and has protested an anti-gay organization alongside me and his father. He has some understanding that some people don't think same-sex partners should be able to be married and have families, and that angers him.
He just turned 4.

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#23 of 91 Old 07-24-2006, 07:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Arduinna
I don't agree that it should be left only up to parents since as stated in the article a variety of stereotypes and isms are rampant inthe children by the time they reach primary school.
This runs dangerously close to crossing the boundary of parenting the child. What if the parents don't want their child included in the discussion? Is there an option to opt out (similar to sex ed stuff)?

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#24 of 91 Old 07-24-2006, 07:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruthla
Are you planning to homeschool all of your children? When parents send their children to school, they give the school some authority on what to teach their children. An educator IS going to decide what's "age appropriate" for each grade level.
There should be an option for opting out for the parents who don't agree. Not all families have the option to homeschool.

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#25 of 91 Old 07-24-2006, 07:15 PM
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Originally Posted by treereach
I'm so sick of hearing little boys call each other 'gay' when they don't conform to sexual stereotypes.
Me, too.
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#26 of 91 Old 07-24-2006, 07:15 PM
 
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If kids that young are tossing homophobic insults back and forth, then whatever is happening organically at home and at school isn't enough. Parents have chosen not to step up to the plate so the schools will. Fair enough.
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#27 of 91 Old 07-24-2006, 07:16 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Houdini
This runs dangerously close to crossing the boundary of parenting the child. What if the parents don't want their child included in the discussion? Is there an option to opt out (similar to sex ed stuff)?
GLBT people exist whether you like it or not. That is like opting out of learning there are black people. :
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#28 of 91 Old 07-24-2006, 07:16 PM
 
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Yeah, what about the parents who want their kids to think gay people are bad??



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#29 of 91 Old 07-24-2006, 07:18 PM
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Yeah, what about the parents who want their kids to think gay people are bad??
They should be prosecuted with a hate crime.
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#30 of 91 Old 07-24-2006, 07:19 PM
 
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We have always talked about varying forms of family, mostly because we didn't want her to get her info from someone who was ignorant or close-minded. At first - it was "organic" as you say - as she had friends with two mamas. So it was part of daily life.

Later, we got more explicit about the whole concept (not sexually, but you know, that some people were termed "gay" and "lesbian") as we explained why we supported gay marriage to her. And why we don't like GWB.
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