Non SAHMs and extended nursing - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 18 Old 01-21-2009, 01:51 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hello,
My daughter is 16 mo and I was a SAHM until she was 11mo. I am a full time student studying to become a RN. Her daycare is at my college and they claim to support breastfeeding. They have comfortable chairs in the young infant room and nursing covers for mothers to use in that room. The problem is since my daughter isn't a 'young infant' under six months I have always had to sneak in her nursing with her in a wrap and her head covered. The people that work there give me odd looks when she is nursing and pops her head, and something else, out of the wrap. I don't want to give up nursing her because I feel that child led weaning is the natural and best thing to do but I am at a loss. Should I just nurse her at home and make her wait until we are not at her daycare? Does anyone else have/had a similar problem?
cheers

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#2 of 18 Old 01-21-2009, 02:10 AM
 
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Hi... first... big :

I don't have much in the way of a similar experience... but as a working mama who was pumping at work and nursing in public well into my DS' second year I can tell you that the only thing to do is have confidence and be proud of what you are doing.

If she wants to nurse, and you want to nurse her, nurse her. Either straight out ask to use the nursing stations or take her somewhere else and nurse her. I bet you will find that when you display more confidence about your choice you will get more favorable responses.
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#3 of 18 Old 01-21-2009, 02:17 AM
 
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I would just nurse her and not cover. I would never use a nursing cover personally. They can't require it.

-Angela
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#4 of 18 Old 01-21-2009, 05:09 PM
 
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Hi, just wanted to offer you some words of support DS nursed until he was 4 and was also in daycare at the university where DH was a student. They were very supportive and had no problem with nursing at any age. I think it's a question of your own attitude and comfort level. If you just do what you feel is right and nurse with confidence, people tend to leave you alone. If they truly support breastfeeding the nursing cover shouldn't be obligatory and they shouldn't impose some arbitrary cutoff age at which nursing is not okay with them. Just do what makes you comfortable, and don't worry about it unless they actually make an issue of it, then you can take it to the next level.

There did get to be a time when I wasn't so comfortable nursing him in public, I think around 2.5-3 yrs, but by then he wasn't nursing much anyway so it wasn't a big deal. Nursing will decrease with time and you can always continue nursing at home for as long as you and your daughter like. There are so many benefits to nursing a toddler so don't let people's shocked expressions stop you. Just remember what a great gift you are giving to your child
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#5 of 18 Old 01-21-2009, 05:15 PM
 
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I've never seen anyone nurse at DD's daycare. I've worked 40 hours a week since she was 2 months old. I always nurse her in the car when I pick her up. It works pretty well for us. She is 3 now, and I won't nurse her in public because I don't want her to be made fun. She'd probably remember it.

Do you drop by during the day to nurse her, or just at pick up time? Under the age of 2, I'd say just nurse her in the daycare. They'll adjust. I used to sit on the floor up against the wall at daycare. I prefer the car though...


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#6 of 18 Old 01-21-2009, 05:24 PM
 
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When I worked with infants, we often had mothers of older todders who would come into the infant room to use our rocking chairs and nurse. Sometimes they would also just plop down on the floor in the toddler room and nurse there.

I'm sorry you're getting weird looks from the staff. That seems odd to me.

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#7 of 18 Old 01-22-2009, 12:51 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Wow, thanks for the support mamas! I have started to nurse her on the walk across campus with her inside of our Storch wrap, noone sees her and noone can tell whats going on. But at the daycare everyone just seems so anti nursing in the 1yo+ room! I am the only mama who still does it, there was another gal who nursed until her DS was 12 mo and we both used the rocking chairs in the infant room. Now that I am the only one it just seems like I'm getting more weird looks! Today I just realized that there are one way mirror/windows with a little bench on the window side room. I think I will start using that room for nursing since noone will be there!

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#8 of 18 Old 01-22-2009, 02:38 AM
 
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i was asked by my dd's teacher to not NIP. i was beyond angry and hurt but decided that i didn't want antagonism in that relationship and take her out for "our special time" as soon as i pick her up (dh does drop off so it doesn't come up then.) i don't love it and intend to have a consciousness raising session at the sch later, once emotions die down a bit, and to frame it as part of a general diversity thing.
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#9 of 18 Old 01-22-2009, 08:04 PM
 
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Our school is the same - when DS moved up into the toddler room at about 16.5 mo, our teacher did not want us nursing in the room. It is a good DC, and they are far and few between. I didn't feel it was worth the battle. I either nurse in another room that is being unused at pickup or I nurse him in the car. That doesn't stop DS from trying to pull out my boobs as soon as I see him though

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#10 of 18 Old 01-22-2009, 11:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Our school is the same - when DS moved up into the toddler room at about 16.5 mo, our teacher did not want us nursing in the room. It is a good DC, and they are far and few between. I didn't feel it was worth the battle. I either nurse in another room that is being unused at pickup or I nurse him in the car. That doesn't stop DS from trying to pull out my boobs as soon as I see him though
LOL, I think my DD grabbing my shirt and pulling it down when I came to pick her up is how they were able to tell I was actually nursing her in her wrap instead of just carrying her while she slept!

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#11 of 18 Old 01-23-2009, 03:46 AM
 
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What are your state laws like re: nursing in public? I nurse my almost 20mo DS where ever we are. Grocery store last week, mall sofa 2 days ago, target yesterday. I am a shy person, but when it comes to caring for my child I could care less what other people think. I'm not in a super friendly BF state, but I don't think I've gotten many looks. I don't really look to see though so I don't know.
My point is...nurse her if you think she needs it and don't hide it. I'd probably just plop on the floor and nurse her in my lap right there. If you don't make a big deal about it or act nervous I doubt they will even say anything to you. GL momma!
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#12 of 18 Old 01-23-2009, 01:43 PM
 
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I went back to work when my daughter was one year old, and the daycare she was in at the time gave me a copy of their breastmilk storage policy when we started They happily gave pumped milk until she was 18 months old, and there were lots of babies and young toddlers that nursed at daycare (it was university-run).

I nursed her at daycare occasionally until she moved to the two year old room. It never came up after that, but I would have probably asked to have a quiet place either in the younger room or a quiet corner of the two year old room if needed. I would ask the teachers for a place to nurse your daughter at pick-up if she wants to. The infant room might be the best place to go. Good luck!

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#13 of 18 Old 01-23-2009, 02:47 PM
 
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One thing to consider is the "weird looks" we sometimes get are actually just interest, not harsh judgment. :-)
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#14 of 18 Old 02-01-2009, 07:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by megababymomma View Post
Hi... first... big :

I don't have much in the way of a similar experience... but as a working mama who was pumping at work and nursing in public well into my DS' second year I can tell you that the only thing to do is have confidence and be proud of what you are doing.

If she wants to nurse, and you want to nurse her, nurse her. Either straight out ask to use the nursing stations or take her somewhere else and nurse her. I bet you will find that when you display more confidence about your choice you will get more favorable responses.
Remember you are educating these folks and if all else fails--discuss the suck reflex and how important that is and you are better than an artificial nipple and/or a sippy cup.

Good luck mama!
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#15 of 18 Old 02-04-2009, 06:12 PM
 
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At my daycare, all the moms nurse in the infant room when they pick up. Those who are still nursing toddlers (me and one other mom I think) usually bring their babe back to the baby room to nurse since there aren't any grown-up sized chairs in the toddler room.

We go to a very hippy daycare. I can't imagine how stressful that must be to have them not approve! I love nurisng as soon as I get there and no way could he wait until we get shoes changed, food packed up, coat on and out to the ca.r As soon as he spots me he is signing for nursing like crazy!

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#16 of 18 Old 02-04-2009, 06:28 PM
 
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Originally Posted by alegna View Post
I would just nurse her and not cover. I would never use a nursing cover personally. They can't require it.

-Angela
This.

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#17 of 18 Old 02-04-2009, 06:33 PM
 
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I nursed my DD when I picked her up at daycare until she was nearly 2. However, she was in a room of 0-24 months, so other moms nursed their kids there too. (Her daycare was pretty breastmilk and nursing friendly.) Fortunately, the main teacher (25-ish) said her mom nursed her younger sister until she was over 18 mo old, so it didn't bother her. Once DD turned 2 (and moved to a room with older kids), I waited until we were in the car to nurse her. However, at that time, I was in the process of teaching DD that she couldn't nurse anywhere and everywhere she wanted, and that she was old enough to wait until it was convenient for me. I stopped nursing in public when she was 2 (except for the airplane.)

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#18 of 18 Old 02-09-2009, 02:48 AM
 
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Originally Posted by sugareemoma View Post
Hello,
My daughter is 16 mo and I was a SAHM until she was 11mo. I am a full time student studying to become a RN. Her daycare is at my college and they claim to support breastfeeding. They have comfortable chairs in the young infant room and nursing covers for mothers to use in that room. The problem is since my daughter isn't a 'young infant' under six months I have always had to sneak in her nursing with her in a wrap and her head covered. The people that work there give me odd looks when she is nursing and pops her head, and something else, out of the wrap. I don't want to give up nursing her because I feel that child led weaning is the natural and best thing to do but I am at a loss. Should I just nurse her at home and make her wait until we are not at her daycare? Does anyone else have/had a similar problem?
cheers
my DD is 21 months and i still have to nurse her at every daycare pick-up. i haven't gotten many strange looks so far, from DCPs or parents; i'm hoping i won't. i definitely feel how it could be awkward, but just know you are doing right by your child!

if it will make you feel better, maybe find a quiet corner or area of less traffic where you can nurse. you could even ask the DCPs where the best place for you to nurse your child would be...that way you convey you ARE going to continue nursing her, but you're still considering their wishes about where to do so, kwim? i know maintaining a good relationship with the DCPs is very important, especially if you like the place!

i wouldn't cover because that's never worked for us--DD hates it and i feel i can be much MORE discreet without covering.

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