are we tandeming?! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 03-12-2009, 01:04 AM - Thread Starter
 
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oh come on I would think I could get *some* sort of answer, some sort of show of support as I'm figuring this out....I love the concept in theory, having seen a few friends' kids CLW, this is my first personal mommy experience with it. (DS was pumped-for for six months as I tried everything I could find to get him nursing, nothing ended up working and I finally chose to spend more time with my baby as I WOH back then and it was starting to upset him to have me there, but not.)

I guess we are, or something. DD is 26 months tomorrow. DS2 just turned 4 months the 7th.

She nursed to put me into labor. literally the first time she'd nursed more than a minute or two in a couple weeks and it did it.

In the months since DS's birth, she has very occasionally asked to nurse and nursed a minute tops, then announced "done!" put my bra back together () and either snuggled or left.

in the past few days, it's been more like a daily request, and she's stayed with it for a few minutes. But just that once a day when it is me and her--brother is at school, dad is asleep, grandma is not back from taking brother to school.
the rest of the time she is too busy.

Anyone else been here?? Is my kid un-weaning? Is she testing me to see what she can do while nursing? I know the obvious thing is she wants it because baby brother has it and gets tons of attention with it. (her view, of COURSE she is allowed to snuggle on the other side of me and have some attention while he nurses!)

I guess maybe she *IS* 'unweaning' and has decided to tandem with baby brother LOL...she has switched the morning for an evening though. She's too busy the rest of the day to think of it. She's added a couple cute nursing games and has accepted my limit of "if you play with it, you're done" (things that she was doing that I found painful/annoying) "cute" stuff like when she pops off to tell me she's drinking milk, or "there's a spider on you" and proceeds to pretend to get rid of a spider on the nipple, LOL--those games are fine, I think they're funny.

tonight she told me "I'm drinking milk" and that it tastes good....oh and that everybody on Sesame Street drinks boo....she started with Cookie Monster, then went on to name everyone and say that they like "boo" LOL Then my 4 year old chimed in with "Abby Cadabby does NOT drink boo." when I asked him why, he said "because she flies" loooooooool

lovin DH since 1/04, best mom for my 3 boys 10/04, 11/08, 11/10 one girlie (1/07), one 13 wk (10/13) and 5/15 just your average multigenerational living family!!
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#2 of 6 Old 03-14-2009, 04:17 AM
 
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I am nursing my 39 month old and 7 month adopted baby. If I'd let him, my son would nurse more than my daughter. It's not for nutrition, but rather for comfort and closeness. I wish I could let him nurse as much as he wants, but I don't have the supply for it. Frankly, I can't stand nursing them at the same time. I only do that if we're all trying to get to sleep. If we're sitting, he fidgets with her and keeps her awake. If we're lying down, it's uncomfortable--I lay on my side. She gets bottom breast and he leans over me from behind for top breast. I never know what to do with my top arm. And if I'm using the supplementer for her, I have to try and reach the tube with my arm going around his head. However, I do it because I think he needs it. I'm a strong believer in child led weaning.

Created an instant family (7/89 and 5/91) in 1997. Made a baby boy 12/05 adopted a baby girl 8/08. Ask me about tandem adoptive nursing. Now living as gluten, dairy, cane sugar, and tomato free vegetarians. Homeschooling and loving it.

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#3 of 6 Old 03-18-2009, 03:31 AM - Thread Starter
 
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that's the thing......she was weaned...and well, unless you count the fact that the milk supply drop of my pregnancy was the real instigator, she weaned herself. (in other words I did nothing but follow her reduced interest and offer options for her at bedtime as she was ABSOLUTELY PO'ed when that was my first supply drop and there was nothing I could do to change it...that was the way my pregnancy affected it. In other words, I had a child who would try to nurse, then scream. She couldn't tell me in words, but I figured out what must be happening.)

I'm mostly trying to sort out if this is **really** about *nursing* (as in a need to be close and to be sucking, whether it's nutritional need or not) or if this is her way of asking for more attention, a need I can meet in many ways throughout her day.

Sometimes she accepts alternatives, sometimes not. Going with the flow.

lovin DH since 1/04, best mom for my 3 boys 10/04, 11/08, 11/10 one girlie (1/07), one 13 wk (10/13) and 5/15 just your average multigenerational living family!!
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#4 of 6 Old 03-23-2009, 01:38 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I've decided to stop analyzing what I think this is about and allow her to nurse when she asks along with giving her extra attention whenever I can in other ways.

Nursing's been once a day, sometimes morning sometimes evening. Sometimes longer than others.

Has anyone else had a child "un-wean?"

I think she seems less jealous of the baby.

lovin DH since 1/04, best mom for my 3 boys 10/04, 11/08, 11/10 one girlie (1/07), one 13 wk (10/13) and 5/15 just your average multigenerational living family!!
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#5 of 6 Old 03-23-2009, 08:34 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by peaceful_mama View Post
I've decided to stop analyzing what I think this is about and allow her to nurse when she asks along with giving her extra attention whenever I can in other ways.

Nursing's been once a day, sometimes morning sometimes evening. Sometimes longer than others.

Has anyone else had a child "un-wean?"

I think she seems less jealous of the baby.
Abigail was forced to wean when I became pregnant with Sophia. My milk was gone by the time Abigail was 8 months old. She un weaned when Sophia turned 8 months and Abigail finally began to nurse again.

I called it tandem nursing when I nursed them both at the same time. Tandem bicycles have two riders at the same time. But I don't like nursing them at the same time for a long time now since they pay too much attention to each other than to what they're doing, hurting me in the process.

So what I do now, nursing them both on demand, I do not call tandem. I just call it breastfeeding two girls.

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#6 of 6 Old 03-25-2009, 01:47 AM - Thread Starter
 
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We are, then, quite literally, tandeming, as that is when she wants it. she leaves me little choice as I can either agree or attempt to keep her from pushing up my shirt and doing it anyway. Or listen to her cry....I'm not cool with either of the last 2 options.

I actually WANTED to be tandem nursing when I was pregnant, was kind of sad when she weaned, but it turned out to be really good when I was struggling with new baby and nursing--we had a rough start. I could not have done what I had to do to get us established if I'd also had her with nursing-needs.

she had a pretty long one-session today. My only issue with it was she gets her feet into her brother's face.....

lovin DH since 1/04, best mom for my 3 boys 10/04, 11/08, 11/10 one girlie (1/07), one 13 wk (10/13) and 5/15 just your average multigenerational living family!!
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