I am restricting touching, he seems not interested in nursing. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 04-19-2009, 03:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi guys! This is my first post on this sub-forum. I am nursing my son who is 3 years and 2 months old. He is nursing a lot day and night. I decided to put some limits on his touching of my body. I insist on him NOT putting his legs/feet on me (he is 50 lbs, too heavy!) and NOT touch my body that is covered by my shirt/bra. He tries to put his hand in between my breast right under my shirt/bra. This is very annoying to me and I want this to stop. He can keep his hand below my cloth line which is still very close to where he wants to go. Am I making sense? So I have been enforcing this for the last couple of days and he gets MAD. He tries to keep my hand from moving his hand, he tries to hit me. If he hits me, I get up and nursing is done. He cries a few seconds and goes on with his daily activities. But he seems to NEED this touching in order to fall asleep. He gets very upset if it is time for him to sleep and I am not letting his hand wander off to where it isn't supposed to go. I am not sure what to do. Has anyone had anything similar happening? Maybe I should just stop all the nursing except bedtime, but let him touch me at bedtime?

Thanks in advance for any thoughts/links to prev. discussions!
~Ellen
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#2 of 5 Old 04-19-2009, 03:11 PM
 
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That twiddling and touching drives me crazy too! I think it is common. There are a few threads about it, if you want to search.

I take her hand, and hope she holds that instead, and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. If she gets too insistent on twiddling where it is uncomfortable or starts pinching, then nursing is done for us too. I explain it to her. It is ok to set boundaries, and teach respectful ways to nurse, especially as they are not tiny babies anymore.
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#3 of 5 Old 04-27-2009, 07:22 AM
 
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Yes. This is a nursing "relationship." You are not his servant. You get a say in this, too. It has to work for both of you for it to work at all. My dd likes to caress, too and I'm just way too sensitive/ticklish for that.

Stay consistent, and he'll eventually get it.

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#4 of 5 Old 04-28-2009, 07:32 PM
 
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I think that the stroking/touching part of nursing can be just as important to a child as the actual nursing. Now, let me be clear--- it drove me crazy too.

I wasn't nursed as a child and I don't remember sucking my thumb, but I *do* remember that I rubbed the bridge of my nose to go to sleep for years after I stopped sucking my thumb (when I sucked my thumb I would stroke the bridge of my nose). Even as a teen if someone would do that I would totally relax. DP thought it was hilarious.

Is DS verbal enough to discuss this with him. At a time you aren't nursing, I would try to bring it up. It might be something like your breast skin is warmer than your skin lower down. Or he just likes having his arm up further in the air. Or...? Hopefully you can come up with something that works for both of you.

 

 

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#5 of 5 Old 04-28-2009, 08:00 PM
 
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is he going thru some sort of a growth spurt?

is there some stuff going on around the house? do you think he might be feeling some stress?

i think he is going to be your huggy feely child. i have one too. they just need a whole lot of physical touch.

the 'boobies' are v. reassuring to them. its soooo not about nutrition anymore. its more like 'therapy'. he just feels soooo at peace adn calm just holding your breast. when my dd stopped day nursing she would hold my breast when she was stressed or sad. i worked on her gently by actually holding her (btw she is 6 1/2 years old and still needs quite a bit body touch. at 65 pounds i need some body adjustment as she reads on my lap).

so he doesnt nurse to sleep i gather. he would much rather feel your boob.

one of the things i have noticed with children who have weaned is they dont let go off the breast yet. they hold on to it for a little while longer before they completely let go.

you have no idea how many 'breast' conversation i have had with my 6 1/2 year old where she would like access to the breast in creative manners (like the detachable breast or fathers growing breasts too).

maybe you can limit his access and tell him it doesnt feel nice. offer him instead something as a replacement. either the tummy (man i remember how my bro and i would fight over my mom because we wanted to sleep with our faces buried in her tummy) or an arm or some part of you.

and yes Tiredx2 its a backscratch for me.

and a gentle face massage for my dd that does it.

btw my dd from day one had to sleep with her feet touching me. she still does that. has to touch some part of my body. she loves to be cuddle sleeping and i love to cuddle. so it works for both of us.

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