I'm having lots of very conflicting feelings about this. DD will turn 3 in August and I am due with #2 in August. I posted DD's weaning story here
back in December. As far as I was concerned, she weaned herself. She slowly cut back from a few times a day to just at bed time, to only every other day or so, and eventually went 3 weeks without asking to nurse and when she asked again she'd lost her latch.
I was ttc and she had reached the 2 year milestone I considered my minimum. From there I just wanted to continue as long as it felt right for both of us. I was hoping for CLW, but also very ready to be pregnant and had considered trying out weaning in the next several months as it was. So, I didn't discourage her from slowing down. I conceived within days of her last nursing session.
However, I was very sad about her weaning. I went through a period of sadness or depression that even the very long awaited positive pregnancy test didn't pull me out of. It felt too quick to me. I wasn't ready. DD seemed fine. She didn't start having temper tantrums or other issues. Getting her to sleep at night didn't get any harder.
Since then, DD has continued to ask to nurse more or less at random. I generally tell her sure and let her try (sometimes if it's really inconvenient I'll say no). Her latch seems to be improving! I've found her studying pictures of herself nursing as well as nursing babies in magazines (we have Mothering and New Beginnings all over the house). She's almost got a decent latch again.
Lately she's been asking to nurse more and more often (and honestly I've been telling her sure more and more often). When she asks to nurse she latches on to one side, declares it empty, and tries the other side, almost immediately declaring it empty as well. She's certainly right, my milk is definitely gone right now, but she's also not suckling long enough to produce a let down.
However, she's been talking in detail about plans to tandem nurse. Initially she was just saying that after the baby is born mommy's milks will fill up with milk again for the baby ... and for me. Sometimes she even left out the and for me part. I had explained early on that I would have milk again for the baby after she was born. Lately she's been much more specific. She recently told me that she would nurse on "this milk" and the baby would nurse on "this milk" and then the baby would cry because she wouldn't want my DD to nurse with her. When asked what she would do then, DD said "I'll play while Lyra nurses" She's told me several similar stories (not usually including it upsetting the baby) over the last month or so.
At this point, I almost feel like I need to decide NOW if I'm going to tandem, and prepare her if I'm not. It goes completely against my instincts at the moment to tell her no. However, I know having a new baby could really complicate all of this. I've read the recent articles on this topic in both Mothering and New Beginnings, and I've read at least this part of Adventures in Tandem Nursing.
Her latch is better, but not perfect, will I be able to handle re-teaching a 3 year old to latch at the same time as dealing with new baby nursing issues?
What if she wants to nurse every time I nurse the baby?
I'm worried about me in this. Will I be able to handle all of the physical and emotional drains? Will I feel negatively towards my sweet toddler when she wants to nurse? Will I be able to balance everyone's needs?
I'm also worried about my DH. Not about having his support - he's been nothing but supportive about it all. However, I know tandeming will be an additional drain on me at a time when I'm already quite drained. He's the one who picks up the slack. He does a wonderful job. He leaves for work between 6 and 7am and doesn't get home until about 7pm. Then he fixes dinner, plays with DD, cleans up, helps with bedtime, etc. I'm confident this routine will continue while I sit on the couch nursing a newborn through the evening. He doesn't get much rest, and he's very drained. I'm not sure adding another drain on me will be fair to him.
Can you share your own unweaning stories with me? Does anyone have any advice?