When did you stop offering the breast? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 16 Old 05-24-2009, 08:43 PM - Thread Starter
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I will nurse as long as my child wants, I am just curious when most people started offering it and only giving it when the child asked. I was guessing sometime after they turn 2? IDK since my others circumstantially weaned around 15-18 months. (well, 1 still nurses occasionally after not nursing for a year)
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#2 of 16 Old 05-24-2009, 08:51 PM
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I still offer, especially at bedtime and when she's waking, and my DD is 3.5. My DD nurses to sleep so offering her milk when she's tired facilitates sleep. I don't think offering my DD milk makes her nurse more often. Maybe when she's older and acting abit less dependent on her milk I may stop offering.
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#3 of 16 Old 05-25-2009, 12:07 AM
 
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i began "don't offer, don't refuse" with my dd at around 3.5. she self-weaned at 4.5.

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#4 of 16 Old 05-25-2009, 03:11 AM
 
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I stopped offering as soon as he was old enough to ask for it himself. Once he was on solid food after 1 year I didn't worry about his nutrition. He was a fantastic eater. He continued to nurse through that year and right before he turned two he was nursing 2 or 3 days on with 2 or 3 off between and a month before his second birthday he just stopped asking until I wasn't making it anymore. Once I stopped lactating he was old enough to understand that Mommy isn't making milk anymore and we transitioned easily from nursing to cuddle/lap time.
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#5 of 16 Old 05-25-2009, 02:11 PM
 
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I stopped offering sometime after DD's first birthday. She asks constantly, however. Even as an infant, she prefered to spend most of her waking time nursing. After about age 2, we kind of negotiated certain times for nursing (morning, afternoon, bedtime). This has worked pretty well for us. Ony recenly (at 3.5) has she started forgetting to nurse in the afternoon. She still remembers most days though.

I'm not sure what I'll do with the new baby though. She only seems interested in nursing when she's actually hungry!


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#6 of 16 Old 05-25-2009, 02:17 PM
 
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I offered until ds self-weaned at 5... I still offer with my other two... though I have to admit that I offer less with my 4.5yo than I do with my 2.5 yo...

though it is very gradual...."don't offer. don't refuse" is a parent-led weaning technique...

 
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#7 of 16 Old 05-25-2009, 04:12 PM
 
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If I did not offer the breast to my 21 month old son, he wouldn't nurse at all. So I still offer it, every few hours.
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#8 of 16 Old 05-25-2009, 05:29 PM - Thread Starter
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can you explain how not offering/not refusing is parent led weaning? I would think offering is parent led nursing lol. I know my son has been asking since he was born (rooting around, pulling on my shirt, making hungry sounds) so to be honest, I've never really offered until recently - and I only know thats what I'm doing because some times I get it wrong (offer breast when he wants something else). I'd love to understand more about this though.
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#9 of 16 Old 05-25-2009, 06:49 PM
 
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Honestly with my first two I never offered to nurse. They both asked/demanded so often there was never a chance to offer. They nursed until 2.5 and 4.

With our newest (14months now) I will offer if it's been a few hours but I trust that she knows what she wants and when she wants it. Often when I offer she flat out refuses. She still nurses 8+ times in 24 hours so I'm not worried.

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#10 of 16 Old 05-25-2009, 07:46 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 4inMyHeart3inArms View Post
can you explain how not offering/not refusing is parent led weaning? I would think offering is parent led nursing lol. I know my son has been asking since he was born (rooting around, pulling on my shirt, making hungry sounds) so to be honest, I've never really offered until recently - and I only know thats what I'm doing because some times I get it wrong (offer breast when he wants something else). I'd love to understand more about this though.
Breatfeeding isn't only about nourishment, it is about hunger, thirst, comfort and so many other things....

If I wouldn't have offered all my boys would have been weaned before a year...They were so distracted at times that they would go hours without nursing... and even went through nursing strikes like many babies do (doesn't mean they are ready to wean though) I offer when I see they are tired, when I see they need to cuddle, when they are sick, whenever.... sometimes they need it but are distracted, sometimes it is about comfort and used as a parenting technique...

it is a weaning technique... though it is probably the most gentle and easy way to wean...

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/weaning/w...echniques.html

http://www.llli.org/FAQ/weanhowto.html

http://www.publichealthgreybruce.on....ng/Weaning.htm

 
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#11 of 16 Old 05-25-2009, 08:16 PM - Thread Starter
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I see. Thanks for the clarification. Is it possible it can be used as a weaning technique but is not a weaning technique for some children?

I hear what you are saying though - I do offer th breast when my child gets hurt (for comfort) and at bedtime. The rest of the time I just let him tell me. Sometimes though I think he tells me but when I offer he doesn't want it. I dont offer every so many hours or anything like that though, but he still nurses a LOT.
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#12 of 16 Old 05-27-2009, 12:32 PM
 
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probably sometime after 4, 4.5 years ... not so much as a planned technique, just that as he asked less, we both forgot more often, and used other methods of cuddling, soothing owies, going to sleep, etc. He still nurses occasionally at age 5, but it just doesn't occur to me to offer in situations where I would have previously. Perhaps if we had a younger nursling in the mix it would be different ... but now that he's the last one, it is just slowly changing as he slowly weans.

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#13 of 16 Old 06-04-2009, 11:14 AM - Thread Starter
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I just read this from one of the links:
"The weaning method of “don’t offer, don’t refuse” often works best for most mothers

and babies. Basically, this means that you do not offer your baby your breast for one

feeding at a time. However, if your baby is interested in breastfeeding at the feeding

you are trying to replace, you do not refuse him the feeding. Weaning does not

mean refusing to let baby nurse, it means gradually releasing your baby from

breastfeeding. "

I don't really thing about it enough for it to be in terms of "dont offer for one feeding" I just always feed him when he asks. I dont even know how many times a day he nurses. In that sense I never offered the breast, I only ever fed him when he asked (or for comfort) though as time has passed I naturally began to sometimes give him a hug and that was enough though sometimes he would pull on my shirt which would remind to comfort nurse - it wasnt a concious decision. IDK, they say "dont offer dont refuse" is a weaning method, but I'm not trying to wean him but this has mostly always been our breastfeeding relationship. I offer sometimes, but usually I just feed him when he asks.
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#14 of 16 Old 06-08-2009, 12:12 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 4inMyHeart3inArms View Post
I see. Thanks for the clarification. Is it possible it can be used as a weaning technique but is not a weaning technique for some children?
Totally. Some kids will demand 23/7 from birth through weaning in the 3.5-5 year range. Others--- it never seems to occur to them to ask.

I consider myself to not have offered regularily once the kids were 2.5+ or so, but I guess I always said something like, "Are you nursing tonight" before bed or if I was going to be unavailable.

 

 

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#15 of 16 Old 06-10-2009, 10:50 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 4inMyHeart3inArms View Post
I see. Thanks for the clarification. Is it possible it can be used as a weaning technique but is not a weaning technique for some children?
I think so. I moved to 'don't offer, don't refuse' with my toddlers at around age 1.5. As they became older toddlers and preschoolers, I did sometimes refuse when it wasn't convenient to nurse. Despite that, I had two children who nursed to age 5+.

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#16 of 16 Old 06-14-2009, 02:49 PM
 
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My daughter (and only) is 20.5 months. We are doing the "Don't offer, don't refuse" method. Well, sometimes, I have to refuse, like when we're in the middle of a store. Sometimes, at home, I offer her solids, like before lunch, fairly sure she will fall asleep if she nurses then. (And if nap time is later in the afternoon, then the day seems shorter. Yep. Selfish method on my part.) For the most part, I want to do child-led, or at least, this method, but starting today, I think it might be the beginning of the end, and I'm not sure what I'm going to do about that. I started to come here to ask about this, then saw your question. When I started to post, I realized they were intertwined, so I thought I would still post.
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