Do I respect the "No no!" ? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 21 Old 06-08-2009, 05:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So our DD is almost 15 months and has always been a pretty regular, 4-6 times a day nurser. We've gone through some rough/distracted times and everything worked itself out, she continued nursing. She learnt the "milk" sign at about 9-10 months and used that to ask to nurse.

Fast forward to now.... She seems to be dropping the noon feeding (usually nurses morning, noon, 4:30 PM and bedtime) and sometimes even the 4:30 one. I ask her is she wants milk and she says "No no!" now quite a bit. It makes me sad, and I wonder if she really means it, or is excited to use her new word, "No!"?

I offer a lot, but for the most part she says "no" now. With her being so busy now, I find it takes twice as long to get things done. I am starting to obsess about how much/little she is nursing and if I really put more effort into "trying to get her to nurse" I feel like I wouldn't get anything done -- KWIM?

So my question is this, Do I respect her "No" and continue on and accept that this might be the start of weaning? Or do I really make more of a concerted effort to get her to nurse? She does get cow/hemp/almond milk in a sippy and I've tried reducing that; it doesn't seem to affect her desire to nurse.
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#2 of 21 Old 06-11-2009, 08:42 PM
 
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from the prior discussions I have read and participated in on this thread (and not from personal experience ) I would say keep plugging away at getting her to nurse/reminding her and totally stop giving her the other milk at all, just water and that should make a difference.

I think the toddler time is hard and many mamas here feel toddlerhood is too young to actually call it CLW.
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#3 of 21 Old 06-11-2009, 08:47 PM
 
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I agree it's too young to for her to really be CLW, but I wonder whether she might nurse more if you offered less (reverse psychology, sort of)? Does she nurse at night? Could you offer her milk only at meals in a regular cup? If she's got any other sucking outlets, especially with milk between meals, that might be a 'crutch' of sorts, allowing her to get around mama to fulfill her needs (which isn't natural/CLW, IYKWIM)?

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#4 of 21 Old 06-13-2009, 07:52 PM
 
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I know this won't be the popular opinion, but I would absolutely accept her 'no'. If you still want her to continue drinking BM, I would express it and give it in a sippy cup, which would also keep up your supply should she want to latch again. But I do believe in CLW, and personally I could never keep insisting she latch when she's being so firm about it. Under a year, maybe, but not now. Sorry mama, I know it's not the answer you want. Have you seen the poem Wean Me Gently? It might help you some.
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#5 of 21 Old 06-13-2009, 09:12 PM
 
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I'd treat her 'no no' the same that you would with any other issue that affects her health. It is important for babies to nurse, just as it is for them to eat nutritious foods and to wear boots if it is snowing etc. 'No' is a fun word to say - and if we took it literally each time they said it, nothing would get done/eaten etc! I'd keep offering in a non-stressful way. You can't force a babe to nurse, but you can keep offering.
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#6 of 21 Old 06-13-2009, 09:29 PM
 
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if she likes books you might get her a picture book about nursing. like "i'm made of mamas milk" or saterday with mez. my son always wants to nurse when we read a book about it.

mama to two amazing children son 10/27/07 and daughter 07/07/11

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#7 of 21 Old 06-13-2009, 09:37 PM
 
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you may find that it's a stage. ds went through something similar last summer when we were on vacation for almost 2 weeks. he reduced his nursing by quite a bit and i admit i was sad too, but after we got home and back to our routine he went back to his regular nursing. i know you aren't on vacation, but if they are learning new skills & the like they can get distracted. i say accept her "no's", but still keep offering all the time.
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#8 of 21 Old 06-13-2009, 11:00 PM
 
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Any possibility she is saying "no" as an independence/ assertion thing? Because that's different from actually not wanting to nurse anymore.

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#9 of 21 Old 06-14-2009, 01:23 AM
 
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My son did the same around that age during the day. But he would always still do his morning and before bed nursings. That was good enough for me because it kept me lactating for when he wanted more.
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#10 of 21 Old 06-19-2009, 01:34 PM
 
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FWIW my dd says 'no, no' to every-single-thing these days, lol, even things she wants at the exact same time that the 'no,no' is coming out of her little tiny mouth, lol!
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#11 of 21 Old 06-19-2009, 01:39 PM
 
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I would keep on offering to nurse, but if he says "no" to a particular request, accept it! Do you want HIM to start arguing with you when you say no to something he wants?

Of course, you can offer to nurse again a few minutes later, but once he's said "no" I'd drop the subject for a little while.

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#12 of 21 Old 06-19-2009, 03:08 PM
 
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If it were me, I'd start "offering" non-verbally-- pick her up and offer the breast directly. If she says no then, or squirms away, once she's on your lap and presented with the breast, I'd respect that. But at that age, my kiddos all got really fond of the word no, and they'd say no even to chocolate sundaes just for the thrill of disagreeing with me. So it's possible she really DOES want to nurse, and just really likes to say no. If you circumvent that asking, and just start getting into position to nurse, or just firmly state, "it's time to nurse now," she may very well latch on eagerly.

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#13 of 21 Old 06-19-2009, 03:21 PM
 
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Personally, I choose to respect the "no, no" from my kids.

My son was probably nursing around 4 times in 24 hours at that age; now at almost 2 1/2, he usually nurses 3 times in 24 hours. Over the last year+, there have been many occasions when he hasn't nursed at a time when he usually nurses because he didn't want to. Entire days have gone by without him nursing, because he hadn't felt like nursing in the morning, and we were out and about at naptime and bedtime so he fell asleep in the car. There was a period when he often rejected at least one of his "usual" nursing sessions, but now he's more consistent about it again.

Sonja , 40, married to DH (42) since 5-29-93, DD born 11-3-2004, DS born 1-18-2007.
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#14 of 21 Old 06-19-2009, 03:23 PM
 
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nm - wrong forum

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#15 of 21 Old 06-19-2009, 04:34 PM
 
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I would not force a child to the breast or withold other food or drink in an attempt to starve them into taking the breast.

If nutrition is a concern, breast milk can be expressed and drunk from a cup (which the child seems to like).

Isn't the point of CLW to let the child lead?
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#16 of 21 Old 06-19-2009, 08:36 PM
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I would accept the no also. I know I am in the minority here. But, my kids all went through times of nursing around the clock and times of nursing a few times a day. So, since she isn't refusing the breast completely, I would respect the no.

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#17 of 21 Old 06-19-2009, 08:41 PM
 
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When DD shakes her head or backs off, I slow down, get her attention and offer once more, then I stop.

Is there an activity going on that is unterrupting the exact time you regularly nurse?

Mama to expecting Babe 2
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#18 of 21 Old 06-19-2009, 09:54 PM
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If it's just a verbal "no no" she may be fascinated with the word. My DD went through a several month period of saying no to everything. You could try physically offering nursing to her instead of asking verbally. With our DD, after awhile we could tell by her inflection with nos were no and which ones were really yes.
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#19 of 21 Old 06-20-2009, 10:57 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the feedback, and as a lot of you shared, our DD IS extremely fond of the word "No" lately and so that's why I was debating to accept it as her true desire or simply to use the word

In the last few weeks I've been respecting her answer, and then wait for her to request milk or wait until our next 'usual' feeding. Some days she's back to her usual 4-5 times a day and some days she's nursed 3 times, so I'm going to roll with it for now. I'm just not ready for her to wean and so any disinterest in nursing always has me so worried!
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#20 of 21 Old 06-22-2009, 01:49 PM
 
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At 15 months, I would treat it as a nursing strike.

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/...to-breast.html

has some good advice for dealing with strikes, as do some of the PP.

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#21 of 21 Old 06-27-2009, 05:14 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sisteeesmama View Post
from the prior discussions I have read and participated in on this thread (and not from personal experience ) I would say keep plugging away at getting her to nurse/reminding her and totally stop giving her the other milk at all, just water and that should make a difference.

I think the toddler time is hard and many mamas here feel toddlerhood is too young to actually call it CLW.
Great post response.
Please consider stopping all other milk products.
Good luck mama!
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