I'm starting to wonder if some of my struggles come from having viewed two as "the age to breastfeed until". Not that I did, at least consciously. Once I decided I could deal with feeding until DD self-weaned (or I thought I could) which was when she was around three months old I started quoting the WHO guidelines to anybody who queried me (most memorably my grandmother) so maybe I said it so often I internalised the as my weaning age
Anyway my current story is...
DD is just over 3 (38 months to be exact). Of course I'm also feeding DS who is 1.5 months. BF through pregnancy was awful, really awful. It hurt like hell, when I was nauseous it made it worse. Then there was the aversion. Ugh! I've never been so cranky with her
Once he was born she wanted to feed straight away. Literally straight away my memory is fuzzy as to whether his placenta had been born yet or not but you get the gist. For the first week as much as I could manage I fed her whenever she wanted. Which was whenever the baby was having milk. I had expected her to want milk more often after he was born so I thought I was prepared for it. I wasn't
Feeding them both at the same time was indescribably awful, my skin crawls just writing about it. So first we restricted it to "after the baby is finished". After about a week I had a chat with her one morning (while she was having wake-up milk in bed) and she agreed to "just when we wake-up and at night". I really hoped I would start to get used to it, that I would somehow be able to get over my aversion and enjoy (or at least contentedly put up with) feeding her. I know she still needs it emotionally if not for nutrition - not just spouting something I've read either but knowing my own daughter I know she still needs that connection. But here we are 5 weeks on from putting restrictions on Bfeeding and I'm hating it just as much, if not more.
So there you are. I don't need advice so much as sympathy and even a bit of empathy from those who've been there. A bit of help letting go of that "she'll self-wean shortly after two" idea that I was kidding myself I didn't have would help too