CLW cuz I am LAZY? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 9 Old 09-27-2009, 03:00 AM - Thread Starter
 
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It was suggested to me that I was co-sleeping and child led weaning because basically I was too lazy to do anything else.

Ironically I am not a lazy person at all. But I have started to question myself because they are totally right- maybe not that i am lazy, but I really have no clue what else I *could* do. CIO is not an option and I would not even begin to know *how* to wean even if I wanted to! Maybe cuz anything BUT cosleeping and child led weaning seems unnatural to me.

It is an awful feeling to start questioning your convictions. Makes me feel like I have no clue what I am doing!

x-posted in family bed

Faiza married and with , mama to DS (09.23.08) and with #2 (due in June 2010).
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#2 of 9 Old 09-27-2009, 03:29 AM
 
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NAK ('cause I'm too lazy to wean, too)

Ugh, I hope whoever said that isn't someone you have to see often.
Don't feel bad, Mama. You know what you're doing for YOUR kids better than anyone else. If it helps at all, I've coslept with both of mine and my older weaned herself and I have no regrets! Must not, since I'm doing the same thing with the baby! At least this time I knew not to even buy the crib, etc.
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#3 of 9 Old 09-27-2009, 03:32 AM
 
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It occurs to me at times too. Ds pretty much exclusively bf's to sleep - it's just SO easy that I'm not really motivated to change it.

Surviving sleep deprivation one day at a time with dd (Oct '11) & ds (Oct '08).

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#4 of 9 Old 09-27-2009, 03:58 AM
 
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"If it ain't broke, don't fix it." Very fitting in this situation.
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#5 of 9 Old 09-27-2009, 04:41 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MuslimMama View Post
Maybe cuz anything BUT cosleeping and child led weaning seems unnatural to me.
I think you just answered your question yourself, you're not at all lazy, people sometimes have to make the excuses up for you because they can't understand your choices, it seems to me that you know exactly what you are doing and where you are going on your parenting journey and as the pp said if it ain't broke .....

You're doing great

ewe + dh = our little lambs + we and have many just : and : life .
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#6 of 9 Old 09-27-2009, 03:06 PM
 
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I would counter such a suggestion with the reply "why throw away a perfectly good tool while it's still working for us?"

Lazy is an interesting concept, IMO. Seems to me that there's good lazy: doing something such that you're not making your life harder than necessary, and bad lazy: doing nothing for no good reason. I have both, but in my considered opinion, child-lead weaning was the good type. There is always the option to nudge a little if some aspect of the nursing relationship isn't working for you (your feelings do count too), and the child will indeed eventually outgrow the need/wish to nurse (though it might take longer than you'd originally thought), so why mess with a system that is functioning well for you and your family?

"What will you do once you know?"
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#7 of 9 Old 09-27-2009, 07:02 PM
 
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Originally Posted by MuslimMama View Post
But I have started to question myself because they are totally right- maybe not that i am lazy, but I really have no clue what else I *could* do. CIO is not an option and I would not even begin to know *how* to wean even if I wanted to! Maybe cuz anything BUT cosleeping and child led weaning seems unnatural to me.

It is an awful feeling to start questioning your convictions. Makes me feel like I have no clue what I am doing!
I did CLW and coslept with my previous three dc. My current babe is FF, and we cosleep. I will tell you, I'd LOVE to be nursing this one. To go from nursing a child until they are almost four, to FF is such an incredible shift. It's like I'm relearning how to parent. It's HARD for me. Nursing my children was such an integral part of parenting for the first two years, and still very important after that. Lazy? Nah. Just common sense.

Nursing is so much more than food. It's nourishment for the body and soul. You are exactly right...why would you do anything differently, unless you had no choice? Your body was made to do this.

Stay confident, mama. I've learned to do other things to replace nursing this babe. But I'd still rather be nursing her.
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#8 of 9 Old 09-28-2009, 01:20 AM
 
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People who are not comfortable with older children nursing will say all sorts of odd things. I was told I was selfish for nursing my son. Because nursing two kids at once was all about me.

Ignore them, mama. You can't think of how you'd wean because you're doing what is right for your family.

Stephenie, Wife to Nick partners.gif 9/3/05 Mama to Keagan treehugger.gif autismribbon.gif 4/12/07, Eden dust.gifhomebirth.jpg3/29/09  3rdtri.gif Someone new coming in July and two angels 6/06 and 10/10. Check out my blog! blogging.jpg

 
 
 
  

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#9 of 9 Old 09-28-2009, 06:16 AM
 
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i'm very comfortable in my style of parenting (cosleeping, babywearing, extended breastfeeding, etc) & can see how others might view it as lazy. i don't at all think it is, but for me it's DEFINITELY the easy route.

it's sooo much more work to get out of bed & walk down the hallway into another room to feed your baby in the middle of the night. i prefer to get more sleep & stay in bed.

it's also a lot of work to set up a feeding schedule/routine for introducing solids that involves putting your baby in a high chair at the same times everyday & insisting s/he eats a balenced meal at 6mo...& stressing out when it doesn't happen. i'd rather just let my baby browse my plate whenever he wants to & not worrying about it on the days it doesn't happen.

to me, these other parenting approaches would me a lot of extra work that i don't see the value in. so if lazy=not wanting to work too hard then i guess it fits

but it just so happens the less-work approach is a very loving, connected, baby-intuitive approach. so it all depends on your perspective.

mama to 2 busy boys (may 2007 & december 2008)
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