is it CLW when i set limits? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 03-08-2010, 12:34 AM - Thread Starter
 
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DD is almost 4 yo. DS is almost 6 mo. both nurse, but DS has unrestricted access, and DD has some limits. there's only so much i can take. she always gets to nurse to sleep at bedtime, and most days she also gets at least several takes during the day. i feel a little bad b/c over the past six months i have discouraged her from time to time when i just could not take anymore nursing. then other times, when i felt like i could do it, i've invited her to nurse, and she is *always* enthusiastic to take it.

i have told her that she can decide when she wants to stop (and her reply is that she is "never going to stop", which i think is cute).

is this still considered CLW?

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#2 of 5 Old 03-09-2010, 11:25 AM
 
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I think so. Putting limits on nursing is totally fine IMO. If you think about it, you put limits on pretty much everything, right? No more juice, no more candy, it's time to go inside now, we'll go for a walk-to the store- to the museum- later etc etc. Why should nursing be any different with a child who "gets it"?
I don't think CLW was ever intended to mean "whenever the child wants for ever and ever and ever". I think it just means that they decide when they're all done but that doesn't make you (mom) less of a person, you know?

Monther of Riley (11), Andrew (4) and Victoria (7 months)
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#3 of 5 Old 03-09-2010, 09:30 PM
 
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Nursing is a relationship. It involves both of you. Your needs deserve consideration too. It's actually a great opportunity to help your little one understand that. It's important to look at your motives carefully and balance them with your child's actual needs. At the same time, you need to be fair and reasonable with yourself. It doesn't help your child grow to see you denying your own reasonable needs. As your child grows older, s/he can handle more limits. Gently placing limits is not contrary to CLW.

I nursed DD through my pregnancy w/ DS. My nipples were sensitive the whole pregnancy. I had to place time limits on nursing b/c it was very difficult for me to bear nursing at all. I explained this to DD (who was around 2.5-3 at the time). I told her I'd give her a count to 10 when my nipples needed a rest. I'd nurse her for as long as I could, then tell her I needed to count to 10. After that, she'd usually pop off w/o a fuss. She nightweaned during my pregancy too b/c I explained I needed a lot of sleep to grow a baby. Later, when I was tandem nursing, it was harder for me to stay patient. I wasn't quite as considerate as I should have been. Still, I did set reasonable limits...always with a gentle explanation. She didn't always like the limits, but I think she grew to understand that I had legitimate needs too. and it gave her the opportunity to be generous.
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#4 of 5 Old 03-12-2010, 08:22 PM
 
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I agree with the above. Your motive isn't to get her to quit nursing it is helping each of you have your needs meant in a gentle way.

~Katie~ married to J, mom to DD- A 13 yrs ,DS- L 7yrs , and my little nursling DD2- R 5yrs.

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#5 of 5 Old 03-12-2010, 09:09 PM
 
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i'm glad you are getting these responses. i am in almost your exact same boat.
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