is it CLW when i set limits? - Mothering Forums

Thread Tools
#1 of 5 Old 03-08-2010, 12:34 AM - Thread Starter
ElliesMomma's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,173
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DD is almost 4 yo. DS is almost 6 mo. both nurse, but DS has unrestricted access, and DD has some limits. there's only so much i can take. she always gets to nurse to sleep at bedtime, and most days she also gets at least several takes during the day. i feel a little bad b/c over the past six months i have discouraged her from time to time when i just could not take anymore nursing. then other times, when i felt like i could do it, i've invited her to nurse, and she is *always* enthusiastic to take it.

i have told her that she can decide when she wants to stop (and her reply is that she is "never going to stop", which i think is cute).

is this still considered CLW?

ElliesMomma is offline  
Sponsored Links
#2 of 5 Old 03-09-2010, 11:25 AM
Mandynee22's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Cape Cod, MA
Posts: 1,271
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think so. Putting limits on nursing is totally fine IMO. If you think about it, you put limits on pretty much everything, right? No more juice, no more candy, it's time to go inside now, we'll go for a walk-to the store- to the museum- later etc etc. Why should nursing be any different with a child who "gets it"?
I don't think CLW was ever intended to mean "whenever the child wants for ever and ever and ever". I think it just means that they decide when they're all done but that doesn't make you (mom) less of a person, you know?

Monther of Riley (11), Andrew (4) and Victoria (7 months)
Mandynee22 is offline  
#3 of 5 Old 03-09-2010, 09:30 PM
NoraB's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 1,306
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Nursing is a relationship. It involves both of you. Your needs deserve consideration too. It's actually a great opportunity to help your little one understand that. It's important to look at your motives carefully and balance them with your child's actual needs. At the same time, you need to be fair and reasonable with yourself. It doesn't help your child grow to see you denying your own reasonable needs. As your child grows older, s/he can handle more limits. Gently placing limits is not contrary to CLW.

I nursed DD through my pregnancy w/ DS. My nipples were sensitive the whole pregnancy. I had to place time limits on nursing b/c it was very difficult for me to bear nursing at all. I explained this to DD (who was around 2.5-3 at the time). I told her I'd give her a count to 10 when my nipples needed a rest. I'd nurse her for as long as I could, then tell her I needed to count to 10. After that, she'd usually pop off w/o a fuss. She nightweaned during my pregancy too b/c I explained I needed a lot of sleep to grow a baby. Later, when I was tandem nursing, it was harder for me to stay patient. I wasn't quite as considerate as I should have been. Still, I did set reasonable limits...always with a gentle explanation. She didn't always like the limits, but I think she grew to understand that I had legitimate needs too. and it gave her the opportunity to be generous.
NoraB is offline  
#4 of 5 Old 03-12-2010, 08:22 PM
Katie T's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Iowa
Posts: 2,485
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I agree with the above. Your motive isn't to get her to quit nursing it is helping each of you have your needs meant in a gentle way.

~Katie~ married to J, mom to DD- A 13 yrs ,DS- L 7yrs , and my little nursling DD2- R 5yrs.


Katie T is offline  
#5 of 5 Old 03-12-2010, 09:09 PM
itsrtimedownhere's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: parker, az
Posts: 247
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i'm glad you are getting these responses. i am in almost your exact same boat.
itsrtimedownhere is offline  

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Online Users: 14,001

20 members and 13,981 guests
christine.l2017 , Dear_Rosemary , Deborah , emmy526 , japonica , JElaineB , katelove , Katherine73 , kathymuggle , Lucee , Michele123 , Mirzam , NaturallyKait , RollerCoasterMama , sarrahlnorris , seap3 , Skippy918 , Springshowers , sren , Tweety_Bird
Most users ever online was 449,755, 06-25-2014 at 12:21 PM.