Join Date: May 2006
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...mostly because I am afraid I'll miss the last time she nurses. What I mean is, that I won't KNOW it's the last time until hindsight, obviously. And I'm kinda scared that it's going to leave me feeling a lot more upset (and possibly regretful) about this stage coming to an end than it would if I were to KNOW that "this time is the last time, so cherish it." (though the thought of that makes me sad too...just can't win, huh?)
I had the fear of "missing the last time" with our oldest. What I ended up doing was this...when I knew he was very close, one evening it worked out that we were alone together, when he was in a quiet mood, and wanting to nurse, of all places, in the rocker. Knowing that we were probably close to the end of our nursing relationship, I made a special point for myself to be very aware, and pay very close attention, and etch the memory into my mind, of that time together.
It turned out not to be the last time...but it was the last time that it was for very long and in a quiet way. The actual last time was about a week later, during the day, with his little brother around. I sat down on the couch and he hopped up and snuggled and and asked to nurse, but then was half smiling and watching my eyes...and I said "I think you are just being silly...are you ?" He let go, laughed, and got up and ran off. And that was the last time. It was all of ten seconds. It was nowhere near as significant a moment for me as the last time in the rocker, and when I think of the real, significant end of our nursing relationship, it was the time in the rocker.
I didn't choose the moment to be the last time, but I did choose the moment to remember as significant to me. You can choose a moment to pay special attention to, and to grab as a memory to cherish for yourself. The actual "last time" may end up being kind of a non-event, but if you pick a time to remember that is close to CLW and that is especially snuggly and close, that is a wonderful memory to hold.
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