patty - i remember you from here and the healing your gut tribe as well.
my heart is breaking for you.
i feel like there is so much hope for you hidden in the scary diagnosis of chronic lyme.
a year from now you (and wisteria!) could be feeling better than you can even remember feeling.
i had lyme as a teenager and i have in the past blamed the two weeks of intravenous penicillin and 6 weeks of oral abx on my crappy gut health and my daughter's severe eczema and suffering. but the same steps you've taken toward healing your gut can help in healing chronic lyme. there's a connection there that's over my head - i know a small but growing pile of people who had lyme and can't eat gluten, eggs, corn... you name it. and i know lots of people who use abx willy nilly without those sorts of consequences...
i was a nervous wreck a few years ago when i found a deer tick on me. it tested negative for lyme but not before i cried a river about even just possibly weaning. (actually, maeve did stop nursing for those two weeks, and now considers it a contributing factor to her "early" weaning four or so months later at age 5.5. i forgot about that.) it's so strange to be so committed to nursing - in fact to, almost, because of food allergies have no choice BUT to CLW - and then have this happen.
i'm so sorry you are in this predicament.
and really all i wanted to say was that i know a small piece of your story and i know you can be the mother you are and want to be after you babies have weaned.
and i'm sending you strength.
alot of it.
i hope you heal well and fast - in heart and body.